May 2nd, 1976 looked for all the world like it would be the end of an era. With Peter Falk out of contract, Last Salute to the Commodore threatened to be Lieutenant Columbo’s farewell voyage.
To give viewers an unforgettable experience, the usual format was ditched in favour of a genuine whodunnit, while Patrick McGoohan was drafted in as director to add some eccentricity to proceedings after excelling at the helm in Identity Crisis just three episodes earlier.
Certainly they succeeded in creating a truly unique and unforgettable Columbo episode. Whether it’s any good or not is subject to fierce debate, with a high percentage of viewers loathing, rather than loving, the high-jinks on display.
So is Last Salute a bon voyage to Columbo‘s fifth season, or is it dredging untold depths? And more importantly, can I avoid having a rage-fuelled aneurysm while watching? Before we find out, I urge you to take a deep breath and grab a life jacket. You’re gonna need ’em…
Dramatis personae
Lieutenant Columbo: Peter Falk
Charles Clay: Robert Vaughn
Joanna Clay: Diane Baker
Swanny Swanson: Fred Draper
Commodore Otis Swanson: John Dehner
Kittering: Wilfrid Hyde-White
Wayne Taylor: Joshua Bryant
Lisa King: Susan Foster
Sergeant Kramer: Bruce Kirby
Theodore ‘Mac’ Albinsky: Dennis Dugan
Written by: Jackson Gillis
Directed by: Patrick McGoohan
Score by: Bernardo Segáll
Episode synopsis – Columbo Last Salute to the Commodore
World-renowned naval architect and sailor Commodore Otis Swanson has a face like a wet weekend as he scowls through his birthday shindig at a lavish yacht club.
The miserable mariner is sick of the spongers and ne’er do wells that surround him – including useless nephew Swanny, alcoholic daughter Joanna and meddling son-in-law Charles, who is transforming the Commodore’s beloved, boutique boat-building business into a faceless corporation.
The Commodore is planning to sweep the rug out from under them all by selling his business, so after the furious sailor poops the party and storms home early big Charles promises wife Joanna that he’ll make a last-ditch bid to talk some sense into the old boy later on that evening.
When we next see Charlie, though, he ain’t talking. Instead he’s wiping prints of a nautical belaying pin that appears to have been used to cudgel the Commodore to death, off-screen, in his own home. He also finds and pockets a ladies’ brooch – one that he recognises as belonging to Joanna.
Charles is interrupted mid clean-up by a ring at the door. It’s boatyard manager Wayne Taylor, who is delivering an updated self-steering mechanism for the Commodore’s yawl. Cool as you like, Charles pretends that the Commodore is chatting on the phone in the next room and that he’ll see Wayne at the yard the next day. The two men then leave the Commodore’s home together and drive away.
Charles’s toils aren’t over, though. He dons scuba gear and returns to the Commodore’s house from his own yacht – underwater, natch, to avoid being seen. He then slips into Otis’s sailor suit and takes the yawl for a spin – making sure he’s seen by the Coast Guard – before ditching the body in the water and scuba-ing back to safety. What a night’s work!
The Commodore’s boat – sans Commodore – is discovered the next morning, so one Lieutenant Columbo is sent to the Clay homestead seeking information. A hideously hungover Joanna can’t remember even leaving the yacht club, so Charles agrees to assist with enquiries – ‘hilariously’ being squeezed into Columbo’s car with the Lieutenant, Sergeant Kramer and new kid on the LAPD block, Sergeant Theodore ‘Mac’ Albinsky.
They motley crew stop off at the harbour to view the Commodore’s yawl, Charles helpfully explaining the finer points of boats and sails to the clueless detectives. Young bucks from the Coast Guard also rock up to show logbooks that detail the Commodore being seen to leave port at 3am that morning. He was a great sailor and the boat’s in great shape, so his loss remains a mystery.
Next stop is the boatyard, where (after an endless and shouty conversation with the foreman) Columbo discovers that the Commodore stopped by there the day before to pick up some stencils and black marine paint. What for? We’ll have to wait an age to find out.
A conversation with the Commodore’s ancient nephew ‘Swanny’ (was the Commodore, like, 100 years old?) subsequently reveals details of old Otis’s will. Joanna will inherit almost everything with the odd pittance thrown to others, including Swanny himself.
“It seems like the Commodore was clonked on the noggin by the mizzen boom and pitched into the sea.”
Swanny drops Columbo and co off at Charles’ giant yacht, where the Lieutenant intrudes on young naval architect Lisa King’s transcendental meditation session before hearing from the Coast Guard the supposed particulars of the Commodore’s demise. It seems like the ancient mariner was clonked on the noggin by the mizzen boom and pitched into the sea – a rather ignominious end for such a master sailor, a bit like Boba Fett being sent screaming girlishly into the Sarlacc pit in Return of the Jedi.
There’s still no obvious suspect for the police, but the viewer is starting to doubt whether Charlie is actually guilty. After receiving a call at home that the Commodore’s body has been found, Charlie shows Joanna the brooch he found at the murder scene. She was so drunk she can’t remember where she was. Could Joanna be the killer instead? Sure looks that way!
Charles goes to identify the corpse and Columbo tells him that the police are now pretty certain that Otis was murdered. An autopsy has shown too much (or too little) water in his lungs, so he must have been killed before being dumped in the drink.
Columbo suspects Charles, but his alibi is strong enough – for now. Security guards saw Charles leaving the island where the Commodore lives and not returning before the Commodore was seen departing on his yacht. The only way to get back to the house without being seen by the guards would have been to boat or swim back – but he’d have almost certainly been spotted in the busy channel. It’s a tough one to ponder.
With this on their minds, Columbo, Kramer and Mac attempt to solve the mystery of the Commodore’s stencilled letters. They appear to spell the word ‘SAILS’, and the suggestion is that Otis was going to use them to stencil a locker. Sounds plausible, but there’s also a stencil of a dot (a full stop for the Brits, or period to US readers), which doesn’t make much sense. The proverbial plot thickens…
Still, they get a break when an underwater boat maintenance man noisily surfaces nearby. He’s wearing scuba gear, giving Columbo a lightbulb moment. So later that night, the scuba guy assists the detective by taking an underwater trek from Charlie’s yacht to the Commodore’s home. He gets there in good time, proving that Charlie could have made it back unnoticed to the scene of the crime.
The next morning finds the police trio back at the Commodore’s house, where they discover a lipstick and a smashed pocket watch hidden under the sofa. Upon examining the pocket watch, they note that it stopped working at 12.42am, just four minutes before Charles was logged off the island by the security detail.
The eagle-eyed Columbo also notices one of the belaying pins is dust free, while the others all have dust on them. The murder weapon? Could be. He has now established potential weapon and opportunity. Lipstick aside, it looks like Charles is his man.
But wait! The game is about to change – and how! Charlie shows up dead in his own home, and Joanna is nowhere to be found. Columbo tracks her down to the yacht club, where’s she’s in a drunken haze and nodding over the piano being jauntily played by a neckerchiefed Swanny.
She takes the news badly, and when questioned about her whereabouts on the night of the Commodore’s murder, she is vague on the details. She thinks she went to see the Commodore at his house, but can’t be sure. Swanny then chimes in. Yes, he dropped her off there in his boat just before midnight before he returned to the club to ‘sing with the boys’.
Joanna can’t remember anything else about the night, but was later informed by a friend who lives on the island that they found her drunkenly asleep on a chair outside their house at 4am and dutifully delivered her home. It’s a flimsy alibi. Joanna could certainly have murdered her father.
Columbo is having a mental block until a meeting with Mac on a bridge overlooking the docks strikes a chord. He spots a boat going by the name of MOLLY J. This revelation (while baffling both to Mac and the viewer) gives the Lieutenant the impetus he needs to set up a parlour room reveal at the Commodore’s house, with key players Joanna, Swanny, Kittering, Wayne and Lisa all on the guest list.
This meeting opens with a little trick. Columbo has Swanny dress up in the Commodore’s outfit as he arrives by boat. Looking out over the water through a telescope, Joanna is distressed to see ‘Daddy’ riding in to the meeting. Rather than strangling Columbo once Swanny makes his entrance, she instead laughs like a loon. It’s crazy stuff. Columbo has proved his point, though. On the night of the Commodore’s death, anyone could have passed themselves off as him to fool witnesses.
Given how diluted and confusing the plot has been up to now, Mac and Kramer handily summarise the key information for the attendees and viewers. The police have deduced that Charles, believing Joanna had killed the Commodore, disposed of the body to ensure his wife (and he by association) remained chief beneficiary in the will.
They’ve also cracked the ‘SAILS’ stencil mystery. In a revelation that shocks the room, Columbo explains that they were intended to spell the name LISA S. Why? Because the Commodore and young Lisa were to be secretly wed and he was going to name his new yawl after her!
Surely this makes Lisa a key suspect as a money-grabbing young seductress? Not so. Lisa explains that she only agreed to marry old Otis if he promised not to leave her any money in his will. And she also confirms that her deceased fiance planned to sell the boat yard and give all his money to charity, leaving the rest of them high and dry.
With livelihoods and inheritances at stake, everyone in the room except Lisa has a motive for homicide. But how can Columbo smoke out the guilty party? Well, he reverts to suitably eccentric means to do so.
Cupping his hands around an unseen item, the detective holds it up to the ears of each suspect and says: “The Commodore’s watch.” Swanny says “Tisn’t.” Wayne and Kittering don’t give a damn. Swaying Joanna feebly utters “Daddy’s watch.” What is this all supposed to mean?
Columbo finally gets to the point. The watch was deliberately smashed by the Commodore’s killer to establish an alibi. The only person in the room who bothered to reveal their whereabouts at the time of the murder was Swanny, who told Columbo he was singing at the yacht club just after midnight. The broken watch was a blind.
Swanny has a motive, too. If he could make police think Joanna was guilty, he would inherit the Commodore’s fortune. When Charlie messed up this plan, he too was dispatched to fuel further suspicions of Joanna.
But how does Columbo really know Swanny did it? Because when the watch was held to his ear only Swanny denied it was the Commodore’s watch, and only the murderer could have known that the watch had been broken. Check mate, Swanny!
Basking in their success, the three police musketeers head outside to the Commodore’s back lawn. Lighting up a cigar, Columbo hops into a small boat and row off into the distance to meet Mrs Columbo at the yacht club, as credits roll…
Last Salute‘s best moment – heading off into the sunset?
Beautifully filmed and scored, Columbo’s farewell in Last Salute would have graced any episode. With word on the street being that this would be the Lieutenant’s last ever outing we are treated to a suitably poignant goodbye scene, which gives me goosebumps every time.
If the whole episode had matched the tone of this scene, Last Salute could have been a belter. Oh for what might have been…
My opinion on Last Salute
WARNING: If you’re a happy-go-lucky type who loves every Columbo episode and can’t stand to see any aspect of the show savaged do not read any further. Instead, visit this safe page of images of Columbo and Dog for a heart-warming boost.
Still here? Good. Now let’s bravely forge on…
Columbo as a show so rarely disappoints that when standards do dip the disappointment is all the more keenly felt. Never was this more apparent than in Last Salute to the Commodore.
Previous series have yielded the odd flop. Think of Short Fuse, Mind Over Mayhem and Dagger of the Mind. Yet these are merely lesser lights by Columbo standards – I’d still watch ’em over most other TV ever made (well, maybe not Dagger, but you catch my drift). Last Salute is a different kettle of fish. To put it bluntly, this is a disastrous outing, which isn’t just bad by Columbo standards – it’s simply a bad piece of television.
It’s no coincidence that this is the episode that splits opinion more than any other, with negative feedback usually outweighing positive by a nautical mile. And while there are fans of this episode – including Peter Falk himself and series creator William Link – I am 20,000 leagues from being one of them.
Still, before I embark with Ahab-esque zeal on my quest to ensure unsuspecting viewers know exactly what this episode holds in store for them, it’s highly pertinent to explore the background to Last Salute, which goes some way to explaining why it turned out the way it did.
“To put it bluntly, this is a disastrous outing, which isn’t just bad by Columbo standards – it’s a bad piece of TV.”
The intention was for Last Salute to be the last ever Columbo – or at least the last serialised episode. Peter Falk’s contract for the show was up in 1976 and his big focus was making movies after being buoyed by the critical success of A Woman Under the Influence (which he made alongside BFFs John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands amid his Columbo commitments), as well as his role in comedy Murder By Death alongside silver screen legends David Niven, Maggie Smith, Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers.
He still had love for the good Lieutenant, though, and in this fascinating article in the Ontario Daily Report from July 1976 Falk discusses how he wanted to make one really good episode of Columbo each year amidst his burgeoning movie schedule.
As a result of Last Salute supposedly being the last Columbo, the decision was made to mix up the formula – doubtless in order to ensure a memorable send-off for everyone’s favourite shabby sleuth. So Patrick McGoohan was brought in to direct after impressing Falk with his approach behind the camera in Identity Crisis. The two had had a hoot shooting that episode, and McGoohan was keen to push the Lieutenant’s boundaries in his farewell outing.
Some of the more eccentric mannerisms Falk and McGoohan introduced to the Columbo character in that episode are therefore dialled up to 11 here – and it hurts. Take a look at the short scene below as an example. Note the ponderous delivery, affected facial expressions and exaggerated mannerisms. It’s Columbo, Jim, but not as we know it…
A young sidekick (Dennis Dugan’s ‘Mac’) was also added in last minute as a novelty alongside series regular Sergeant Kramer. But of course, the biggest departure from the norm was the format. Last Salute was the series’ first true whodunnit, which ended with a parlour room reveal aping the grandest traditions of the mystery genre. There’s merit in that concept, and on paper all this doesn’t sound too bad. But in reality, it’s a fiasco.
Knowing that I hate this episode, I was watching the clock with a keen eye as the episode unfolded to record unwelcome landmarks that may be of interest to readers keen to compare notes:-
- I reach annoyance point after only 20 seconds due to that berk Swanny singing while he pilots ye goode shippe Titanic down the channel.
- I’m offended before we reach the 15-minute mark when Columbo makes his infuriating, mumbling entrance at the Clays’ front door. Whatever he’s been smoking, it ain’t cigars…
- I’m ready to turn off in rage 31 minutes in when the Lieutenant has to scream at the boatyard foreman over the noise of drills and buzz saws to make himself heard.
- I’M QUITE WILLING TO KILL COLUMBO MYSELF in the 35th minute when he cosies up to young Lisa as she attempts to meditate beside Charlie’s palatial yacht.
- I’ve lost the will to live by the 51st minute when the police start arsing about with the stencilled letters. Here endeth the clock watching.
That’s just the crust, though. The filling of this festering pie is just as unappetising and is riddled with the unwelcome ingredients of tedium, goofiness and over-indulgence. But its cardinal sin? Between them, Falk and McGoohan make Columbo an annoyance – not just to the suspects, but to the viewer.
Yes readers, the Lieutenant of Last Salute is an irritating nuisance. He shouts all the time and creepily invades people’s personal space. He lacks his usual courtesy and warmth. He’s more whimsical, distracted and aloof than we’ve ever seen him and he seems to continually be in a state of mild amusement – as if he’s stoned. His mannerisms are overblown and theatrical. In short, he’s an oddball – and McGoohan’s indelible fingerprints are all over it.
Of course it takes two to tango, and Falk must shoulder his share of the blame. After 36 outings in the crumpled mac he was doubtless glad of the chance to mix things up and push Columbo in new directions, but I daresay his friendship with McGoohan clouded his judgment and took his good eye off the ball, because allowing the Lieutenant to evolve into the infuriating weirdo he is in Last Salute is a betrayal of the Columbo we know and love.
The only comparable example I can think of is how Indiana Jones was portrayed as an unfunny, pedantic fool in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. How Harrison Ford stood for it I’ll never know.
‘Offbeat’ is probably the best way of describing this episode and the Columbo characterisation in one word and I would argue that McGoohan and Falk were being hugely overindulgent here. When he helmed Identity Crisis, McGoohan had such an insane story line to work with that he was able to satisfy his penchant for the offbeat without sacrificing everything else. Here, the audience isn’t in on the joke as its central star and director serve up a madcap imitation of what Columbo should be.
At this stage I ought to reiterate that it’s not the premise itself that hampers Last Salute. I have no issue with the series throwing us a whodunnit after 30+ stupendous ‘how-will-he-catch-ems’. The writers and producers have earned the right to surprise us.
Story writer Jackson Gillis was one of Columbo‘s most important contributors over many years, having been involved in classics such as Suitable for Framing, Double Shock, Troubled Waters and Requiem for a Falling Star. The basic premise of his story – man is slain, we think we know who did it until they too show up dead, then Columbo reveals all in a thrilling denouement – is sound. It could have been a solid entry to the series, but under McGoohan’s guidance the telling of the tale is an absolute shipwreck.
To start with, Last Salute is excruciatingly drawn out – far, far more than can be justified. Watching it is an absolute chore. I often crow about longer Columbo episodes being filled with padding, and the subsequent damage caused to the story, but this is on a whole different stratosphere. Minutes at a time are wasted with people saying nothing, or repeating the words of others, or talking about frigging boats, or even lying down on the job.
“The mystery culminates in what can only be described as the least satisfying parlour room reveal of all time.”
The camera lingers on this non-action for what seems like eons. A good example is the throat-slitting tedium of the police crew trying to rearrange the Commodore’s stencilled letters to spell something other than the word ‘SAILS’ – including toying with the word ‘ASSLI’. As a single scene it’s an embarrassment, but in reality every single thing that could be drawn out in this episode is drawn out. Enduring it is agony.
It also makes it hard to follow what’s going on, akin, if you like, to trying to navigate a ship by starlight in a dense fog. If this was the first Columbo episode you ever watched I imagine you’d abandon this proverbial ship long before the episode’s denouement – and that would be no bad thing because the gotcha scene is one of the entire series’ biggest missteps.
A sparkling gotcha goes a long way to papering over the cracks of even lesser Columbo outings. Short Fuse is a very silly episode but has a cracking gotcha. Playback is an average adventure boosted by an emotionally charged conclusion. For the whodunnit experiment to work, Last Salute had to wow us with a riveting finale. Instead it ends with what can only be described as the least satisfying parlour room reveal of all time. Agatha Christie died only two months before this aired. She must have actually been spinning in her grave.
Rather than gripping intrigue, we have 20 minutes of meandering chat from Columbo and his bungling sidekicks, and a medley of couldn’t-care-less-about characters reacting to the Lieutenant holding cupped hands to their ears and stating: “The Commodore’s watch.” The guilty party – our mate Swanny – identifies himself by saying ‘Tisn’t.’
And that’s it.
I’m sure this absurdity tickled McGoohan immensely but after wading through 90 minutes of bilge up to this point, for most viewers it’s a bewildering anticlimax – made more so by the fact the scene promptly cuts to Columbo and his fellow officers outside in the sunshine.
There’s no arrest shown, no reaction from the other suspects, and no further reference to the bonkers solving of the case. Mac and Kramer ought to be screaming: “What the hell just happened in there?” Instead we get silly smiles, and small talk about Mac’s new raincoat and Columbo being back on the cigars. On more than one occasion it has left this correspondent completely baffled, wondering if I’ve missed something.
Certainly Swanny needn’t worry about being locked up, so flimsy is the evidence. If anything, the case would more likely result in Columbo being bust back down to Sergeant for sullying the LAPD’s good name.
Last Salute fails on many levels besides this, too. Columbo’s stupid assistants add nothing and succeed only in making the LAPD look like cretins. I’m guessing they were supposed to add comic relief, but by gum they’re tedious. The running joke about whether ‘Mac’ has any Scotch or Irish heritage is staggeringly unfunny. I have to ask: who was this for? The viewers at home, or the back-slapping cronies Falk and McGoohan?
In fact the humour misses the mark throughout. I love a Columbo to be laced with some really good chuckles. That’s why Double Shock, Negative Reaction and Publish or Perish rank so highly with me. Last Salute thinks it’s funny, but the ‘gags’ on display here are, without exception, painful.
Columbo cuddling up to Charlie in the front seat of the Peugeot may have been vaguely entertaining, but to then have the detective massage Charlie’s thigh as he wraps him up in a phone cord aboard the yacht is really overdoing it. The Lieutenant’s yoga ineptitude similarly fails to raise a smile, as does his awful screaming match with foreman Fred at the boatyard.
If you enjoy these scenes, good luck to you. As I watch them unfold, I can assure you that my face is every bit as irate as the titular Commodore’s was at his birthday bash in the episode’s opening minutes.
Another pet peeve is the sheer number of characters in this episode – far more than it needs. Many are largely irrelevant, including some of the supposed key suspects. Lawyer Kittering and boatyard manager Wayne Taylor are really surplus to requirements. We never sense they’re involved in the crime and they’re so underdeveloped that in the gotcha scene they’re simply there to make up the numbers. Likewise the Commodore’s wife-to-be, Lisa King. She’s just a girl in the background throughout rather than the pivotal figure to the investigation she really ought to have been.
Exacerbating this is the fact that here’s no one to care about in this episode. As well as loving Columbo, we can usually sympathise with the villain, the victim or some of the support characters. Not here. Everyone is miserable and hateful. They also act weirdly around each other. Remember the scene when Swanny comforts a drunken Joanna after the death of Charles is revealed by creepily placing his hand on the side of her face? Even Columbo seems disturbed by it. I had to run and have a wash after viewing…
Because of all this it’s impossible to give a damn about the personal battles of any of our chief antagonists. Lisa describes the Commodore as ‘the most beautiful man who ever lived’. If so, why didn’t we see some of that so we could care a fig about the miserable codger’s fate? It’s terribly frustrating.
And how about having Fred Draper as the murderer? He’s been a bit-part player in so many Columbo episodes that I’m sure McGoohan and co thought it would be a delicious and unexpected curve-ball to have him cast as the killer. Who’d suspect old Fred, eh? Again, there’s merit in the idea, but again they botched it. Swanny is too much of a nothing character to draw any sort of emotional reaction when his guilt is finally (and nominally) revealed.
A further beef with Last Salute is the reminiscent nature of several key aspects. The young yoga-loving stunner marrying the elderly soulmate is a riff of Double Shock‘s (a Gillis-penned story) relationship between Lisa Chambers and victim Clifford – both of whom were far more effectively sketched out. A would-be will beneficiary stitching another to secure an inheritance is straight out of Gillis’s Suitable for Framing.
“Frankly the episode would’ve been more entertaining if they’d all gone on a boat trip together and it had sunk with the loss of all hands.”
Then there’s the broken watch clue that was prominently used in Candidate for Crime. And there’s also a hark back to Requiem for a Falling Star (another Gillis story), which referenced Nora Chandler disguising herself as her husband and heading out to sea to fool witnesses. Trying to disguise these familiar beats may have been another reason why Last Salute was so slathered in nonsense.
So does anyone come out of this mess with credit? Well, Diane Baker puts in a believably desperate turn as sad alcoholic Joanna (the latest in a long line of boozy Columbo housewives), but that doesn’t make her character likable or enjoyable to watch. Most viewers will find her turn highly annoying, but I actually know people who are like that when drunk and can tell you it’s no bad acting performance.
Robert Vaughn is blameless as Charles Clay but looks bemused throughout – and no wonder. He was magnificent in Troubled Waters and warranted a second outing as a killer. He’s wasted in this swill.
Finally, Last Salute irks because of the shadow it cast over the rest of the 70s’ episodes. Shades of the rage-inducing Columbo characterisation we see here remain – albeit mercifully toned down – until the curtain fell on the Lieutenant’s first run in 1978. I’ll be paying close attention to this in future reviews.
Still, as a long-term lover of this show there are positives to take, even from this baloney – chiefly the episode’s great twist, when prime suspect Charlie turns up dead an hour in. Although we didn’t see Charlie strike down the Commodore, surely every first-time viewer never doubts he’s the killer. It’s Robert Vaughn, after all! His death is a genuine stunner. All credit to the writers – now this really is a mystery.
Elsewhere Bernardo Segall’s jaunty score (his 9th of 10 Columbo outings) is excellent, and the cinematography can’t be faulted. The location shooting, showcasing deep blue water and light blue skies, really shows off the majesty of LA living. And keen fans are treated to cameos by series regulars John Finnegan and Mike Lally.
The best, though, is saved till last. As referenced above, the final scene of Columbo hopping into a boat and rowing off across the sparkling blue water to meet Mrs Columbo at the distant yacht club is a beautiful thing.
The on-running gag throughout the episode is that Columbo is giving up the cigars. In real life the rumour was that Falk was leaving the show. So the ‘I thought you were quitting’ question put to Columbo by Kramer, and the Lieutenant’s response of ‘not yet… not yet…’ had a delicious double meaning, leaving the door ajar for a sixth season.
Had it all ended there it would have marked a fitting and poignant closure for the series. As such the scene ranks as one of the show’s very finest moments. But is it worth sitting through the rest of this rubbish to get there?
Tisn’t…
Did you know?
Last Salute to the Commodore is sufficiently infamous to have secured a place in the UK Guardian newspaper’s ‘When good TV goes bad‘ series back in 2017.
The tongue-in-cheek series chronicles those ‘jump the shark’ moments when outstanding TV shows slip from their peak, with Last Salute described as ‘a truly berserk episode‘. A fun read, clearly written by someone with affection for and knowledge of the show’s proud heritage, you can read it here!
How I rate ’em
As I’m sure you can tell, I’m not much enamoured with Last Salute to the Commodore. Frankly the episode would’ve been more entertaining if the key players had all gone on a boat trip together and it had sunk with loss of all hands within the first 10 minutes.
As a result, it plummets to the foot of the current standings where it will doubtless remain for many moons until some of the worst pap from the 80s/90s challenge its stranglehold on the wooden spoon.
Feel the need to revisit previous, more positive, episode reviews? Then click on any link below with confidence!
- Suitable for Framing
- Publish or Perish
- Double Shock
- Murder by the Book
- Negative Reaction
- A Friend in Deed
- Death Lends a Hand
- A Stitch in Crime
- Now You See Him
- Double Exposure
- Lady in Waiting
- Troubled Waters
- Any Old Port in a Storm
- Prescription: Murder
- A Deadly State of Mind —B-List starts here—
- An Exercise in Fatality
- Identity Crisis
- Swan Song
- The Most Crucial Game
- Etude in Black
- By Dawn’s Early Light
- Candidate for Crime
- Greenhouse Jungle
- Playback
- Forgotten Lady
- Requiem for a Falling Star
- Blueprint for Murder
- Ransom for a Dead Man
- A Case of Immunity
- Dead Weight —–C-List starts here——
- The Most Dangerous Match
- Lovely but Lethal
- Short Fuse ———-D-List starts here—-
- A Matter of Honor
- Mind Over Mayhem
- Dagger of the Mind
- Last Salute to the Commodore —E-List starts here—
Thanks for sticking with me through this treacherous voyage. Do let me know your own opinion on Last Salute below. If (horror of horrors) this episode ticks the boxes for you, PLEASE explain why because, try as I might, it gets worse for me with every viewing.
Still, I shall recover and will be back in the hot-seat to revisit Season 6 opener Fade in to Murder in the coming weeks. How will William Shatner’s particular brand of madcap compare to Mr McGoohan’s? Only time, that sweet, sweet healer, will tell…
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Now having read the negative rewiew, can you explain to me how it can be, that this episode is the only one I remember after all these years? I think, that us in Denmark get something else out of the play than americans. The play between Columbo and Robert Vaughn is fabulous. The bad rewiew only stimuilates my desire to see this episode again and dwell carefully with each little detail. A breathless pace in the telling timing is’nt always the best recipe for a good story, and it is, likewise, not a demand that Columbo always should win the hearts of the wiever. He adds in this episode to the complexity of his mind.
Wasn’t there an error made in that final meeting when Columbo asked Kitterman who would benefit most from the commodore’s death? Kitterman replied that, as the secondary heir, Swanee would. But doesn’t his position as secondary heir indicate motive in the second murder?
I indicated past years that I had a hard time in reruns paying attention to the plot of The Last Salute due to the stupidity episode – overacting, noise, touchy touchy – my view a garbage episode after early good episodes – then I realized as actors get more influence they destroy some series with the overacting – and probably some kind of uplifting parties during the filming so many others overact – then last night I saw the rerun about the guy flung out a window followed by the radiator – what a nonsense episode – putting Hands over a sink then in toilet…he could not use a spoon? He then touches his Face – must all be intentional to be stupid series. I’m finding I enjoyed early years – but I must have not seen as many later years during the first run as when I see reruns…I see & hear trash. Plots are thrown out the window due to poor directing and production
Probably in my top three favorites. Sky high and the Louis Jourdan one. That’s such a blast! I love that Pat Mac riling up the audience with this as he did with the final episode of the Prisoner.
I heard an interview with PF giving soooo much credit to McGoohan as a writer as well as actor/director.
Disappoints indeed. Very much. Happy you guys can at least laugh at the review. It is a good one, thank you very much for it, but still, disappointed.
If LSTTC had been a typical, 75-minute episode, the humor less forced, more whimsical, and Diane Baker been allowed to sober up, I daresay this presumed final episode would’ve been better received.
You have a fairly decent mystery. When the Commodore’s body is revealed, it is surprising; someone is not setting the stage for an “accident” as per usual.
And there is doubt as to who’s really done what, and who has the most to gain. But because of extra time added, the reveal is drawn-out, deliberate vs. crackling.
I agree, an odd and rather disappointing episode. But not awful as suggested.
Wes, welcome to the weirdest Columbo of the original series. Everything about it screams just pure strangeness. I’m sure Falk and McGoohan were enjoying a few drinks while filming and who could blame them?!
I’m thinking that during the last years of filming, that there must have been staff/actor cocktail parties imbibing maybe even more than Alcohol. How else can you explain the strange behavior, over-acting, and immature talk. Somehow, I seemed to overlook this when younger and first watching the series. The Last Salute is a perfect example of a disaster episode which I think some overlook when talking plot
Upon seeing reruns I could not even concentrate on the plot of the Last Salute due to the stupidity of the episode along with the noise and touchy touchy – must have been due to more power of Falk to direct and produce – the touchy was sickening drama & childish behavior – so I thought was a satire on stupid detective stories. What was served during the cocktail parties they must have had daily during filming of this trash
What makes peter falk’s performance really above average is his rugged face with soft expressions and not making faces. But here, he quite fall into a caricature and extrapolates the credulity of his unique character; at this point of the show, I feel that he has total creative control regarding which scenes involving his character would not fit to the personality he has built so far, so I can’t say it is the director’s fault, specially because half the episodes this season have a more slapstick style and making faces. Pity, and I read that it gets worse as the newer seasons arrive.
I will say it was director Patrick McGoohan’s fault, as the revision to Falk’s portrayal was McGoohan’s idea, and McGoohan had to persuade Falk to agree. Mark Dawidziak quoted McGoohan in his seminal book, The Columbo Phile, as follows:
“When we did that episode,” McGoohan explained, “the series had been on for a while. We discussed it and said, ‘The Columbo character is fairly well defined. Let’s take the character a step farther.’ That made Peter apprehensive, but he was willing to try it.”
McGoohan is also responsible for the creation of the character with whom Columbo shares much of the goofiness: Theodore “Mac” Albinsky. McGoohan told this to Dawidziak: “I wanted the young guy,” McGoohan said. “That character wasn’t in the original script.”
Could Falk have nixed McGoohan’s concepts and script revisions? Perhaps. But as their ongoing relationship revealed, Falk was sufficiently mesmerized by McGoohan to let him do pretty much whatever he wanted.
Just one more thing sir, if you don’t mind – watching this episode now while going through your review – you wrote:
“Young bucks from the Coast Guard also rock up to show logbooks that detail the Commodore being seen to leave port at 3am that morning.”
They mention the Coast Guard log book said he left port at 1:26am – not 3am.
I’m sure there’s a good reason for the discrepancy. 🙂
I dont know if anyone else caught this, but when Columbo in the end rows away in the crappy old boat, the edges you can see of
that boat is the same color of his crappy old peuget. Its a fun ending to the episode i thought.
Re: To the point of the Last Salute review, thoroughly enjoyed. Hilarious.
I just watched Last Salute to the Commodore, and I was so utterly baffled that I immediately went looking for some reviews to see if it really was that bad or I was going crazy.
Glad to see I’m not the only one who feels this way. I really enjoyed your review, you put into words everything that bothered me about the episode, and did it in such a way that made me chuckle a few times, so thank you for that!
This is my first time watching Columbo from start to finish, in release order, and I must admit that since around season 4 (and mostly season 5) I’ve been losing a bit of interest in the show. I hope there are still some good episodes left in the seasons I still have to watch. I might read some of your other reviews as I continue my viewing.
Haha same! I watched Columbo back in the day when I was a kid, but after viewing Poker Face a few weeks ago, which was clearly inspired by Peter Falk’s incredible character, I was inspired to rewatch Columbo from start to finish. Which was an amazing ride until I got to this episode. What the actual heck. I felt so much better to read your scathing review and to notice that we were annoyed by the same things, point for point. Thank you, Columbophile, for making me feel less crazy.
I’ve written a few times about the Last Salute – how much, watching reruns, that this episode appeared so strange – touchy, noisy, irritating, obnoxious – sort of like wondering if this was a satire on the worse of how a Detective Series could be portraying by any production? So I started to think – why was I recalling that I enjoyed episodes when first appearing on TV. Maybe the initial rounds I did not see the later year shows until I started to see reruns 2 or 3 or more times. Then it hit like a bombshell – like many, some actors may have more influence in production and directions as years go by – then the overacting, noise, touchy scenes – always cramming in even in other episodes – the car in The Last Salute – then later shows cramming in a huge Limo, putting Hands between Legs of others, sexual innuendos, leaning over others – touching and have others touch Columbo, saturation of tidbit nonsense that has no role in the plot – and 5 times in a short period talking of the wife who does not exist. My conclusions – I do not know how long it took to film an episode but each day they must have had some perk like a motivation party serving whatever – and I noticed as time went on – was not just Columbo but the others with the over accentuation and over-acting. I may be still a fan for early episodes but now I have to watch again – but the later years – something funny happened on the way to the Farm. I’m clueless how to pay attention to any plot or person in The Last Salute because of the nonsense acting in that piece of junk – I’m still reeling from the noise on the Dock and Columbo pushing into the woman. I was not on one of those Docks.
You say that “some actors may have more influence in production and directions as years go by,” and that’s true. Peter Falk gained more and more muscle on Columbo over time. But there is a second side to this explanation where Last Salute is concerned. And that side is the carte blanche Falk gave Patrick McGoohan.
In his autobiography, Falk wrote: “The Columbo franchise, myself, Universal Studios, and the NBC network — we all are indebted to Patrick McGoohan for his huge contributions to the show. He did everything. He wrote, directed, acted and he did them all brilliantly. He single-handedly lifted the show to new heights.” McGoohan could do no wrong, in Falk’s view. And with Falk’s muscle, McGoohan had a free hand to muck with any convention, no matter how successful, as he wished.
McGoohan wasn’t the only person to influence Falk adversely on Columbo. As David Koenig revealed in “Shooting Columbo,” Elaine May was another. It’s a cautionary tale. When you give an actor power, you also empower their friends.
Troubled Waters! Vindicated at last! I’ll settle for a #12 on your list. At least it didn’t sink under (oops) the deadly “B” list. Thank you for the stellar Images of Robert Vaughn – except for him very being so unhappy. He was, after all, a “working actor” just trying to get any job done!
PS, I happen to love Troubled Waters! Sure, Volare made us all go to sleep but Robert Vaughn was fantastic and it was a pleasure to see Columbo take him down on the high seas!
Very disappointing episode. I probably dozed off – I must have missed something: who killed Charles, how and why?
Presumably, Swanny killed Charles, too, with a similar blow to the head like the one he used to kill the Commodore. Why? My personal theory is: to eliminate Clay as Columbo’s suspect for the Commodore’s murder. For Swanny to inherit, Joanna Clay had to be convicted of killing her father. But Columbo didn’t suspect Mrs. Clay; he suspected Mr. Clay. If Mr. Clay were convicted, Mrs. Clay would inherit, not Swanny. So Swanny eliminated Clay, including as a suspect, and left some “feminine things” about as clues to redirect Columbo’s suspicion back at Joanna.
I find it amazing that no one ever mentioned the fact t that Last Salute to the Commodore Patrick McGoohan and Peter Falk had a real significant “pun” they put in . Peter Falk was a painter and draftsman and studied art at the beginning of his career, he talks about this quite a lot, so at the end everyone thinking this would be the last episode and the Sargent ask him ” I thought you were going to quit” to which columbo replies not yet Sargent and is seen sailing off into the sunset. duplicating Claude Monets famous painting “Impression Sunrise” Which in this case is thought to be Sunset on a very good show!
I watched this episode for the first time tonight, curious to find out why it inspires so much hate among fans, &— well, I didn’t expect to enjoy it that much! Sure, as a Columbo, it’s wildly off. But once you consider it to be the absurd little brother of a Cassavetes or an Altman movie, it’s a riot. I laughed a lot, at any rate.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the 70s Columbo formula. I love a perfect Columbo (Suitable for Framing being a favourite). Last Salute is just… something else. It tickles differently. It shows a Peter Falk veering into performance art-adjacent territory. But this was also the actor he was. Even as TV, I thought it was a lot more fun than a lot of the bottom-tier episodes.
Not saying this to be contrarian! I understand the dismay from fans, I just don’t happen to share it.
Anyway, just a word of thanks to the Columbophile, whose blog has made my Columbo binge-watching even more entertaining!
Hi dt — Glad to hear that you managed to enjoy this unwatchable/unlistenable mess; of not just a Columbo episode, but of a TV show. One request, though. I would like just a little of what you were drinking or smoking when you watched this. Just a little would certainly do!
The shame is that the premise was good, and it had potential to be a much better episode. It was just directed and acted in such a silly manner. Not my least favorite episode, but certainly a lower tier show. Maybe the director was smoking a little too during filming.
Sure, have a glass of beaujolais, who knows! 🙂 I will maintain that this episode is of a piece with a certain strain of late 1970s US (counter-)culture, which I guess is not universally beloved! I mentioned contemporaries Cassavetes or Altman, for their sometimes cacophonous or drawn-out scenes (and I believe there’s a lot of comedy in those scenes), but we’re not far from Andy Kaufman’s brand of awkward comedy either. The shouting-over-the-background-noise scene? That’s comedy gold. It’s so absurd, Falk can’t even help himself laughing out loud at the end.
Falk & McGoohan were clearly trying to do a nightmare/lost weekend version of Columbo, maybe because they thought it might be the last episode. They sure pushed their idea as far as 1970s prime time TV could allow, if not further. I like that it pulls the rug under my feet.
Completely understand your point…..and for me vino is a must with my Columbo episodes.
Maybe Pot – I stand that the cast had a cast party before filming this trash which I assume is satire
Comedy gold? Hmmmmmmm. Enjoy! As they say in some circles, “Chacon à son goût!”
Last Salute was not (in my view) the actor that Peter Falk was – this was overacting, touchy touchy, loud, juvenile – this was not the Falk of the first years. Maybe there was a group party before the filming? You would think an actor would evolve into a better actor. I do like some modern movies, but for years I liked the 30s and 40s movies moreso – then I saw again recently “Marianne” of 1939 first talkie of the great Marion Davies – I’ll put in that DVD Type before I watch to much of the later Falk Episodes. I’ve said before maybe this Falk Disaster was a satire on stupidity detective stories. I did not realize during the years of first seeing the later episodes how the series degraded – would have been nice just to evolve into regular acting instead of the exaggerations.
Not to confuse (please) the chronic goofy mess that is LAttC with creations of real, pioneering genius created by the masterful John Cassavetes.
You are being too kind. It’s on right now; the stenciling scene. It only worsens with time. Excuse me, I must change the channel.
SO agree. I’m a diehard Columbo fan, but this was an absolute stinker. Smelt worse than a lorry load of rotten fish. I shall expunge this from my memory by watching “Negative Reaction” with Dick Van Dyle. Big love to all Columbophiles!
The review of this episode is not savage enough.
The episode is a stinking irritating cinematic manure. The longer it went the more angry I got. I felt I am being swindled by the makers of this manure..
The screenplay creaks mightily at places, the directing is substandard to the point of being amateurish and the editing occasionally fits the standard of directing. The smart Alec who wrote the screenplay tried to create an Agatha Christie or Hercule Poirot dramatic ending but he [presumably he] failed miserably. The only redeeming part of this attempt at TV drama is the actress who played Commodore’s alcoholic daughter. The actress was seriously good – it is difficult to act as a drunk person. She was subtle and convincing.
This episode does not even deserve to be ranked. It should end up in some cinematic incinerator, like a tumor that is cut off from a patient during a surgery ends up in a hospital incinerator.
But have you watched “Murder in Malibu” or “No Time to Die” yet? Sorry but….it gets even worse…
Oh – my – God
I did not realize when first watching Columbo that in the later years the degree of over-acting and touchy touchy. I’m thinking when older that you are more aware of the bad parts – and The Last Salute of the Commodore was not the only garbage episode. I recently saw one with that nutty Columbo sitting down and Knees so close to the other actors intruding space much like Joe Biden. I think this happens when the actor becomes to much in the decision making of the Producers and Directors – when actors given to much leeway or influence on touchy stuff and who is on the show – the grabbing by Hands. I see this all the time when actors are on a series a long time – to a lesser degree of shows like The Andy Griffith Show – nothing as nasty as The Last Salute – but who knew what went on at the sidelines.
Joe Biden? Biden never ever came close to the bizarre Columbo behavior and his ridiculous invasions of personal space in this episode! Thanks for the laugh, tho!
I watched the complete show 10-15 years ago and am getting back to it these days. I just rewatched Commodore yesterday, it was so bad if left me bewildered and almost furious. I have never seen such blatant padding and nonesense blabber, except for one particular experimental Z movie (Savage Water, 1979).
I for one didn’t enjoy this last scene. It was just another few minutes wasted on pintless chitchat, adding insult to injury after eduring this episode.
My favourite moment is actually the Commodore telling everyone off. He’s very right, they’re just useless morons !
Your review is SPOT ON. Thank you. And for all the laughs.
I didn’t like this episode too much and didn’t know why until I read this article. I agree with J. Knight’s comment that this article’s humor helped with the cringiness of the episode. Dagger of the Mind still ranks dead last with me, though.
Just watched the episode, and though I fell asleep for part of it, what I did see was hateful. The burst of laughter from Swanny (after his lame and unnecessary impersonation of the Commodore), the extreme and unnecessary close-ups, the stoned atmosphere, the slogging pace, and Columbo showing his disdain for the audience, fellow actors and the series as a whole- it was a terrible thing to watch. I love MacGoohan as an actor, but he was out of his depth here- unless he too harbored disdain for Amercian audiences. This episode reminds me of the feel of the Monkees “Head” movie- a surreal, drug-fueled mess that somehow still worked, while this ep crashed and burned multiple times. Not sure if I have the stomach to finish watching the rest of the series…
I just watched this and I could not agree more. I almost had my fill when he pointed out the Molly .J. All of the preceding dialog was bizarre and unnecessary. One of the worst scenes for me is when he’s sitting on the dock, and Mac tells the Ensign that he needs to explain the lay of the land to Columbo using his foot and a piling for reference. Almost every scene I thought, “where is this going”? I look forward to watching this again with scorn and loathing in several years for a laugh. I’m thinking about trying to make a drinking game out of this one.
This review was so funny that it washed away all those cringey scenes. I think McGoohan is a creative director but it was like he was directing for a different show. He had no idea what Columbo’s personality really was. Just was weird.
Thank you CP for all of the laughs I had reading this review. That’s entertainment!
Thanks for that! Sometimes the worst episodes are the most enjoyable to review so I can vent my spleen!