Almost 6 months to the day after the second season’s finale, Columbo burst back onto screens on 23 September 1973 in the svelte shape of Lovely But Lethal.
Boasting a brilliant cast and a unique beauty industry backdrop, hopes were high that Season 3’s opener would match the curtain-raising efforts from the first two stellar seasons. So let’s dust off our fashion turbans and sharpen our eyebrow pencils in readiness to see if Lovely but Lethal lives up to the hype…
Dramatis personae
Lieutenant Columbo: Peter Falk
Viveca Scott: Vera Miles
Karl Lessing: Martin Sheen
David Lang: Vincent Price
Shirley Blane: Sian Barbara Allen
Dr Murcheson: Fred Draper
Sergeant: John Finnegan
Lab technician: Bruce Kirby
Written by: Jackson Gillis
Directed by: Jeannot Swarc
Score by: Dick De Benedictis
Episode synopsis: Columbo Lovely but Lethal
Beauty industry Empress Viveca Scott (Vera Miles) has fallen on comparatively troubled times. Sales are down, she’s lost some high-profile outlets, and the vultures – namely arch-rival David Lang (Vincent Price) – are circling. She needs a miracle, and she seems to have found one in the shape of a ground-breaking skin cream that makes wrinkles disappear!
There’s a fly in the ointment, though. The formula has been stolen by handsome young chemist Karl Lessing (Martin Sheen looking very young and handsome), who has diddled Viveca and and co out of the correct formula and is willing to sell it to the highest bidder – who just happens to be David Lang.
“Viveca needs a miracle, and she seems to have found one in the shape of a ground-breaking skin cream that makes wrinkles disappear!”
Tipped off about this betrayal by chain-smoking weirdo Shirley (Viveca’s mole within Lang’s business), a desperate Viveca heads off to Lessing’s batchelor pad in a bid to get her beautifully manicured mitts on the formula and the single pot of the miracle cream that he has in his possession.
Lessing, however, isn’t going to give in easily. The two are former lovers, you see, and he appears to have designs on both her body and her money – both of which Viveca is willing to part with. She jots down some figures that she’s willing to pay on the back cover of a TV guide in eyebrow pencil. As they appear to reach agreement, Lessing laughs in her face. He has no intention of giving her the formula. He just wanted to see her beg.
Phwooooooar!
Enraged, Vivica does what any woman would do in that situation: she clobbers his swede with a handy microscope, pockets the jar of ointment and gets the hell out of Dodge! A slight cut from the microscope slide’s broken glass is her only injury. She doesn’t have the formula, but through careful analysis of the wonder cream she may yet crack its secrets.
Lessing’s body is discovered early the next day and Columbo and his gang are called in to investigate. Amongst other things, Columbo finds broken glass on the carpet which he puts his hand in by mistake; the impression of an octagonal-bottomed jar in a flour container; a magazine with financial doodles on it written in black eyebrow pencil; and a dartboard with a picture of Viveca Scott pinned to it.
He also discovers that Lessing had been due to go on a European vacation that day, travelling first class all the way. The cost of tickets was $3000. Yet Lessing had only $300 in the bank. Something’s not adding up…
His investigations lead him, naturally enough, to Beauty Mark Inc., Viveca’s place of work. Columbo discusses the murder with her, even suggesting that he thinks a woman may have done it because of the eyebrow pencil writing on the magazine.
Viveca seems to be in the clear straight away. As a redhead, she would never use a black eyebrow pencil, after all. It’s only when Columbo notices that she isn’t sporting the famous beauty mark in real life that she has in all her press photography that the truth comes out. She does need a black eyebrow pencil for that.
Next stop is Lang Enterprises, where Columbo tries in vain to get some information from David Lang about his relationship with Lessing. It may be obvious that Lang’s not telling the whole truth, but when he’s backed up by his secretary Shirley, Columbo beats a retreat.
His ‘n’ hers coats were in vogue that season…
Shirley lets the cat out of the bag about the real state of affairs between Lang and Lessing to Viveca at a secret rendezvous. Lang had withdrawn $200,000 from his account the day before the young chemist’s death. The morning after the death, he put it all back in. While that wouldn’t look great to the police, Shirley knows he didn’t do it. She drops a broad hint that she suspects Viveca did, though.
Realising this is problem that must be tackled head-on, Viveca arranges to meet Shirley later that day out near her fat farm retreat. She then shows off her mad chemistry skillz by lacing a cigarette with poison in a move that can only be bad news for the gat-toothed Shirley.
“Viveca shows off her mad chemistry skillz by lacing a cigarette with poison.”
Just as she’s about to head out to kill, errr… meet Shirley, Viveca is interrupted by Columbo, who’s driven out to the retreat to ask a few more questions. He pesters her for a time until she artfully sidesteps him by entering the nude-sunbathing area. The bashful Lieutenant is far too shy to follow.
Now unencumbered by the irksome detective, Viveca meets Shirley, nods her head obligingly to the young woman’s delusional dreams of becoming an executive at Beauty Mark and slips her the poisoned cigarette. After a creepy cuddle, Shirley drives off to meet her doom, crashing her car while in a drug-addled haze. The message is clear, kids: smoking is seriously bad for your health.
Smoking’s bad, mmmmmkay?
Columbo’s still around when Viveca returns, unsettling her with a story about how he seems to have contracted poison ivy – even though it doesn’t grow in southern California. It itches like blazes he adds, just as the gloved Viveca is persistently scratching her own hand.
The topic comes up again the next day, as Columbo visits Viveca HQ once more. The riddle of the poison ivy has been solved. It came from Karl Lessing’s home, where he had been using an extract of it in some chemical tests, although at this stage the detective is still unsure how it ended up on his hand.
Viveca, meanwhile, is driven to desperation. Was Lessing bluffing about the contents of the jar he gave her? Maybe it was a compound made using the poison ivy extract and not a miracle wrinkle cure at all! Seeking answers, she heads back to the fat farm to find Dr Murcheson – the alcoholic old chemist who was Lessing’s direct superior. He agrees to analyse the ointment.
However, Viveca’s time runs out. As she dashes to her office to fetch the jar, she hears a commotion in the courtyard. Looking out of her window she sees two police black-and-whites pulling in and faces a critical decision: fling the jar and its possibly priceless contents out into the ocean, or stash it and hope for the best. She chooses the former, and agonisingly tosses the jar into the churning waters below.
In a deleted scene, Columbo inadvertently stepped on the gas and wiped out half of the fat farm
Moments later Columbo and his cronies arrive to conduct a search of the office. When nothing shows up, Columbo dismisses the other officers and has a one-on-one with Viveca. He pointedly asks her how her itch is doing and arrests her for murder.
You see, he’s finally figured out how he ended up with poison ivy. When Lessing was brained with the microscope, the glass slide on it was shattered and ground into the carpet. Analysis shows it had extract of poison ivy on it. Columbo contracted it when he touched the carpet and when doctors prove Viveca also has it, Columbo will have the final evidence he needs.
Outwitted and outmanoeuvred, Viveca admits defeat and is escorted out of her office to face justice. She has just enough time to deliver a chilly parting shot to Columbo as credits roll…
Lovely‘s best moment: cat fight at the cat walk
Yep, we’re all wondering what she’s wearing on her head as well, Vince…
The episode’s delicious encounter early on between catty rivals David Lang and Viveca Scott at the fashion show is terrific entertainment. It’s exposition heavy, but in a very good way as the audience is succinctly and plausibly introduced to the troubles facing Viveca’s company through Lang’s snide comments at her expense.
Viveca gives as good as she gets, as you’d expect, and the foundations are laid for a mouth-watering battle between the two which, sadly, never entirely eventuates. Still, combined with the outrageous and opulent fashions of the early 1970s – including Viveca’s unbelievable fashion turban – and you have an eye-opening scene that holds the promise of untold delights to come.
My take on Lovely but Lethal
Seasons 1 and 2 of Columbo pulled out all the stops to dazzle viewers with season openers of great style and ambition.
Murder by the Book remains one of the the greatest season curtain raisers in televisual history. Etude in Black, meanwhile, was unprecedented in its size and scope, with extensive location shooting and a sweeping orchestral soundtrack making it a great example of ‘Event TV’.
Strange, then, that Lovely but Lethal was chosen to kick off Columbo Season 3, because this is a comparatively lacklustre outing with even a stellar cast struggling to keep the episode’s head above water.
There may have been external factors at play. A four-month writers’ strike in 1973 must have played merry hell with scheduling and pre-production. However, fans’ favourite episode Any Old Port in a Storm aired only two weeks later, so was surely in the can when Lovely aired. It’s a superior episode in every regard, so why it wasn’t chosen to open Season 3 is a mystery.
“Lovely but Lethal is a comparatively lacklustre outing with even a stellar cast struggling to keep the episode’s head above water.”
I’ve watched Lovely but Lethal many times, but it’s never moved me to any great extent. I’ve always thought that what it gives with one hand it seems to take with the other. The ‘best moment’ chronicled above is a case in point, promising much more than it delivers, but Vincent Price’s appearance overall is the prime example. On the upside, it’s so cool that Vincent Price starred in an episode of Columbo! On the downside, he’s criminally underused and just disappears halfway through the story.
It doesn’t make sense to me to have Price at your disposal and then not make more of him. Who knows, perhaps he only had a couple of days spare to accept a small guest slot and we should count our blessings he appeared at all. But the story itself seems to suggest more should have been made of the Lang character.
Vincent Price: bizarrely underused, but a joy to watch
Consider: he’s a shady character who is out to bring Viveca Scott’s beauty empire to its knees. There’s no love lost between the two, and we also know that Lang was lying to Columbo about not knowing Lessing, and that he had shifted $200,000 in and out of his bank account to pay for the secret formula. His personal secretary also died in mysterious circumstances.
That level of scheming, intrigue and antagonism simply demands more screen time for Price. But no! He has a couple of decent scenes before vanishing without trace. The balance of the episode suffers as a result.
“Vera Miles did a fine job of portraying Viveca as a cold and ruthless killer, whose only emotions are saved for her business.”
One could argue, of course, that it was better for Vera Miles to not have to share as much of the limelight as she otherwise might. After all, there are relatively few female killers throughout Columbo‘s 35-year lifespan and Miles did a fine job of portraying Viveca as a cold and ruthless killer, whose only emotions are saved for her business, not for the people in her life.
The problem I have is that I just don’t find Viveca that interesting. She doesn’t have the shady past of a Nora Chandler, or the bullied upbringing of Beth Chadwick to colour her character. Viveca is a cold fish who uses and abuses those around her. Her motive is financial. It’s hard to get excited about her, except when it comes to her wardrobe, which really is the secret star of the episode.
Viveca’s wardrobe selection is the secret star of Lovely but Lethal
Viveca should be and is a total fashionista – and not just because of the fashion turban! She’s a costume department’s dream, easily looking a million bucks is every ensemble we see her in. That’s the aspect of her that is most attention grabbing – but that’s not necessarily a good thing. Like my criticism of Short Fuse and Roddy McDowall’s ludicrous fashions in it, when the chief talking points of an episode revolve around the protagonist’s outfits, it’s a sign that the story isn’t as intriguing as it should be.
Usually, a Columbo story penned by Jackson Gillis has gold dust sprinkled throughout. Even the silly Short Fuse, which Gillis also wrote, is partly salvaged by a tremendous gotcha scene. But Gillis’s Midas touch has run out here because the central clue of the poison ivy is decidedly weak.
The poison ivy clue fails to convince
Columbo has plenty of hunches and some circumstantial evidence against Viveca, but his case entirely hinges on the poison ivy. But I say a fie on it! Viveca has an easy get-out-of-jail-free card available simply by saying that she must have contracted it from Columbo during their first meeting. It would be very hard to disprove.
Also I’m no horticulturalist, but surely a microscope slide could only hold a minuscule amount of poison ivy extract on it? Certainly too little to infect two people to such an obvious extent? Prove me wrong, plant lovers! Prove me wrong…
Columbo actually has more damning evidence against Viveca than he appears to make use of: the doodled numbers on Lessing’s TV magazine. Again I’m guessing, but handwriting analysts must be able to match those numbers with examples of her writing elsewhere to confirm a match. Combine that with the poison ivy and her goose is cooked. Sorry to say it, but they dropped the ball by leaving that out. It’s just not good writing.
All is not quite lost, though. As is the case with every single episode of Columbo, there are some bright moments worth discussing. For one thing, the episode’s ‘Mad Scientist’ opening credits with Dr Murcheson’s tense face filling the screen as he appears to be conducting experiments on helpless women are nicely atmospheric.
The opening credits sequence is a nice homage to old skool horror flicks
With horror legend Vincent Price in the line-up, and Dick De Benedictis’s screeching horror score used throughout, the shades of Universal Monsters’ Dr Frankenstein are unmistakable. Those aren’t the only horror-related aspects, either. Lest we forget, Vera Miles starred in Psycho in 1960, while Sian Barbara Allen’s Shirley character is a bit of a psycho herself. Creepy and weird, the chain-smoking brunette is an unsettling presence until she’s slain.
Keen viewers will recognise that Murcheson is portrayed by Columbo regular Fred Draper, who, as a fun Easter Egg for eagle-eyed fans, stars alongside two other revered Columbo guest stars: Bruce Kirby as the grumpy lab technician and John Finnegan as one of Columbo’s sidekicks. The trio clocked up 27 appearances between them and are much loved by fans. Read more about their contribution to the show here.
But those moments aside, Lovely but Lethal is a lesser light of the Columbo opus. It’s not terrible, but, rather like Viveca’s doomed attempts to secure the miracle cream, the formula just ain’t quite right.
Did you know?
A dozen years before finding silver screen immortality as Mama Fratelli in The Goonies, Anne Ramsey was earning a crust as an extra in Lovely but Lethal! You could easily miss her if not paying attention, but she’s the butch masseuse who’s giving Dr Murcheson a pummelling at the fat farm two-thirds of the way through the episode. She even has a couple of lines. Quite what lead the mild-mannered masseuse to turn so EVIL in little over a decade can only be guessed at…
For many more surprising Columbo guests star, click here!
How I rate ’em
You may have already guessed that Lovely but Lethal won’t be troubling the upper end of the leaderboard. Quite the opposite in fact. I’d place it in the ‘lower mid-tier’ bracket. It has no devastating lows, but no thrilling highs either. It’s really something of a flat liner and certainly one of the most forgettable episodes of the 70s’ run.
Check out any of my other reviews using the links below!
- Suitable for Framing
- Double Shock
- Murder by the Book
- Death Lends a Hand
- A Stitch in Crime
- Lady in Waiting
- Prescription: Murder
- The Most Crucial Game
- Etude in Black
- Greenhouse Jungle
- Requiem for a Falling Star
- Blueprint for Murder
- Ransom for a Dead Man
- Dead Weight
- The Most Dangerous Match
- Lovely But Lethal
- Short Fuse
- Dagger of the Mind
As always, let me know what you make of this episode in the comments section below. I’d LOVE to hear your views. And I’m looking forward to the next episode in the running order immensely, as we reach Any Old Port in a Storm – many a fan’s absolute favourite.
Until then, adieu…
Read about the top 5 scenes from Lovely but Lethal right here.
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I’ll have what she’s having…
I dont mind the icy calculating murderess, but I find it boring when it’s not a premeditated plan than columbo has to work put as opposed to an accident. On another note, I love Vera miles and Vincent price.
I’m disappointed the reviewer overlooked the strong performance by lovely, versatile and underrated Sian Barbara Allen as David Lang’s secretary, Shirley Blaine. Ironically, Allen’s performance as the chain-smoking blackmailer has made this episode a cult favorite among a small group of fetishists who find smoking to be erotic.
I’m not a fan of this episode, but Vera has one of my favorite lines ever said in her annoyance of the Lt. “You belong in a museum!!”.
She does deliver that line exceptionally well!
Vera Miles is great as a murderess in the OUTER LIMITS episode “The Forms Of things Unknown.”
It’s based on the film DIABOLIQUE, and she plays the “tough girl” member of the pair, while Barbara Rush plays the timid one.
I don’t know if it’s come up here, but there’s one line that could confuse a lot of people. Columbo tells Viveca “We might not be looking for a MURDERER at all.”
Then he says that it might have been a woman. Of course, he’s referring to the word “murderess” in place of “murderer.”
As far as I can tell, that word is considered so quaint that people barely even know it exists. (I don’t think I ever hear “politically correct” people getting after it, or the opposite thing, anti-political correctness people using it just to aggravate them. Which is one big way of telling that a gender type word isn’t well-known!)
Watched this again last night. Always cracks me up when Vivica tells Columbo, “I like young men. [I dated the murdered man] two years ago, and there have been hundreds since then.” That works out to a new sex partner every 3 or 4 days. The Lady is a Tramp!
“Dated” didn’t necessarily mean “sex partner” back in 1973. And, if the Viveca character was a man, he’d likely be labeled a “stud” or “man-about-town.” This episode was a bit of a disjointed bore, upon watching it again, which confirms my impression seeing if first in 1973.
But Russ, Viveca’s life was about absolute youth and beauty! I wouldn’t doubt if she was a sex freak and did have hundreds of partners. I’m sure Shirley could also attest but unfortunately for her, she ended up on Viv’s hit list. The poor thing, cigs got her one way or another…hehe
“Columbo has plenty of hunches and some circumstantial evidence against Viveca, but his case entirely hinges on the poison ivy. But I say a fie on it! Viveca has an easy get-out-of-jail-free card available simply by saying that she must have contracted it from Columbo during their first meeting. It would be very hard to disprove.”
But there are too many other connections to be simply dismissed as coincidence: The fact that Lessing was a cosmetic chemist. Scott’s picture on the dart board. The black pencil. The octagon shape matching the shape of the jar.
Columbo is holding his egg for breakfast in his right hand, while his left hand is on the carpet with the broken glass. So Columbo would have had to shake Viveca’s right hand with his left hand to infect her with poison ivy. I don’t think a judge would accuse Columbo of doing so.
I don’t think a judge would either, but a defence lawyer probably would raise it as a possibility.
There won’t be film footage of that moment available as trial evidence. Do you really think, months later, Columbo can be sure which hand held an egg?
No, but Columbo will be sure, which of his two hands got infected, and the records of his doctor will show still months after the investigation.
This one was suprisingly boring considering we had Martin Sheen and Vincent Price right there on screen.
A few saving graces: The reaction of the modeling photographer as Columbo saunters in. Columbo’s quick turn at the nude sunbathing. And the stunning location-the pool house- just outside Santa Barbara.
Viveca Scott ranks among my least favourite killers of the series. She is cold as ice, and it is a mystery to me how anyone would like to be like her. It is the gospel of the perfect surface: a super-synthetic outlook and then nothing likeable about the person underneath. In short, nothing I could identify with whatsoever.
In fact I find most characters in this episode rather creepy and arrogant, and no one seems to have any empathy. The only character to have some sort of warmth is the drunk guy we see in the beginning of the episode (and later in the spa).
Needless to say, I don’t enjoy this episode very much. Thankfully the next one is quite a different beast…
Until the point when Viveca threw her “miracle cream” into the ocean, there was no indication her factory was on the coast. My guess is the building(s) used for her factory/fat farm were inland.
This episode suffers from a total lack of likeable/sympathetic characters. You couldn’t care less about the pos character played by Martin Sheen, and the greedy smoking girl is apparently oblivious to what happens to those who try to blackmail the killer in Columbo episodes (Murder by the Book, Double Exposure, etc.).
But it’s Columbo himself who’s the biggest pest in the episode. He’s really insufferable with his shtick in this one to the point you finally start to feel some sympathy for the killer.
I’ve always wondered if Viveca and Shirley were lovers, especially when they mentioned having a secret meeting place. Shirley was a strange character and made herself an accomplice but I still couldn’t help feeling sorry for her.
This episode was far better than Etude In Black and Ransom For A Dead Man so I don’t agree with the official review. When gullible blackmailer Shirley is murdered by
Viveca, I can’t get over how naive Shirley is.
Another thing that puzzles me is that though Viveca is arrested for the murder of Martin Sheen’s character, no mention is made of the murder of Shirley. No investigation
is made linking Viveca to Shirley’s car crash.
I’d love to see a post on the Columbo blackmailers. A couple of them actually survived! (Margaret from “Ransom For A Dead Man” and Veronica from “Try and Catch Me”)
Margaret was acting at Columbo’s behest. I wouldn’t put her in the same league with the others.
I am wondering whether Margaret was under Columbo’s protection all day before the takedown, even inside Leslie’s home. What if Columbo had misjudged Leslie? What if Leslie had decided to kill the unloved and now dangerous stepdaughter spontaneously instead of paying her off? Mr Brimmer did so, Eric Prince did so, why wouldn’t Leslie? How could Columbo have avoided that?
That doesn’t make it any less dangerous.
I’m amazed this script got approved- we don’t have poison ivy in SoCal, but we do have poison oak- a related plant that leaves an identical rash, and grows everywhere.
Why would a technical inaccuracy stop a script from getting approved? Ask any (insert occupation here) about any show centered around that occupation.
Absolutely. As a boy growing up in the 60’s-early 70’s, I contracted poison oak a dozen times- all in LA County. This missed fact by the writers actually ruined the entire story for me.
>>but we do have poison oak- a related plant that leaves an identical rash<< Absolutely true! No one in California would have even *thought* to mention Poison Ivy. Rather, their first and only reaction would have been, "Oh, that's a Poison Oak rash!"
The murderer, the victims, and the other protagonists that Columbo had to deal with in this episode, not one of them had anything about them that would make the viewer care if they lived or died. Just saying!
With only a few exceptions, I generally agree not only with your overall rating of episodes, but also with your detailed arguments for arriving at these ratings. This one was no different. For me, a successful episode requires either strong detective work and/or a thrilling gotcha ending, or great acting and chemistry between the murderer and Columbo. A perfect example is Lee Grant in “Ransom for a Dead Man.” Her scenes with Columbo are a constant battle of each trying to outwit the other, and they have added interest thanks to her manner of reacting to and commenting on his “idiosyncrasies” and shtick. Here, the trail of clues is paltry from the start, the gotcha is extremely weak, and Miles’ acting is bland. She doesn’t challenge Columbo at all, and merely gets frustrated and runs away repeatedly. No sharp lines, no witty retorts, no complex character that might cause us to have mixed feelings towards her, nor the kind of villainy that makes the final snare more enjoyable, as when Columbo gets Dr. Fleming in “Prescription Murder,” or Dr. Mayfield in “A Stitch in Crime.” As you noted, not terrible, just a bore.
The Gotcha! at the end of this episode must be the weakest one in the series.
Any court judge would have to say… Case Dismissed!
Columbo says no poison ivy grows in California, and because him and Viveca
both touched some, and neither left the state recently, they both got it from
the same microscope slide. This is wonky logic, for so many reasons.
Viveca might’ve gotten hers from some another of the plants grown for research,
drugs, or… cosmetics! Poison ivy is also very transferable – they both could have
gotten it from a doorknob. Is Columbo also going to prove nobody else left the
state either?
But the biggest flaw of this episode, is that it’s a copy of Publish or Perish, a
later but better episode. In both, two rival firms vie for ownership of a valuable
property. In both, the property is stolen by the less scrupulous business owner,
after they kill its holder. The villain in both then murders their own accomplice
in a way that looks like an accident.
The only difference is that in Publish or Perish, the Gotcha! is ironclad.
Kudos though for Vera Miles’s turn as the villainous Viveca Scott. Perhaps
she parlayed this role into her return to Psycho, as the villain in its sequel
10 years later.
In Lovely But Lethal, she even tells Columbo “I wouldn’t even hurt a fly”!.
Whatever were you thinking of Ms. Miles?
Rating: 8.0/10
Marking:
Entertainment: 5/5
Clues Leading Columbo to Killer: 2.5/2.5
Final Gotcha: 0.5/2.5 (counting only as an
extra clue, but otherwise so bad, it’s laughable)
Not much to see here but for Vincent Price and Sian Barbara Allen. She was in so many things in the 70s. Generally playing a somewhat odd or vulnerable character.
Watched lovely but lethal this morning in 5 Usa and as always failed to overwhelm me vivica is uninteresting , no real memorable or funny scenes and the poison ivy clue still dosent convince me and well down the murky dephts of the seventies list , but still however i find it more colourful and has more entertainment value than old fashioned murder which also aired today which os dire in my opinion .
I liked Vera Miles’s performance as an evil queen-like mogul of a cosmetics company. I thought Miles effectively displayed a controlled wickedness, which served to give her parting words to Lt. Columbo more punch. Even her pretentious “darlings” added another layer to the conniving Viveca Scott character. And, her eyes said everything; she shot daggers, even when she smiled.
This was an enjoyable and watchable episode for me. But I too would have preferred a showdown between Scott and Lange, instead of having to sit through the annoying and awkward Shirley Blaine character. Scott framing Lange for the initial murder and then watching the two ‘spar’ to see who topples whom would have made for a far more intriguing episode.
Ooh, what a great idea! That would have been a truly memorable episode! Rivals trying to frame each other hasn’t been done on the show, I don’t think. I imagine the episode was written before Vincent Price was cast, so the writer didn’t have his energy and charisma in mind when writing it–too bad.
I agree; it would have been great to see the two as vengeful rivals. I wasn’t even aware of the writer’s strike until I read this blog. Like you, I also thought it required Herculean strength to pick up that microscope with one hand and kill him. I suppose if Viveca could pick up that wig and wear it on her head all day, she could pick up a heavy microscope. That wig looked as if it weighed 100 pounds!
Ha ha!
A few random thoughts on this episode:
–Unlike CP and other comments, I thought Vera Miles overacted, especially in the early scenes. Too cliched femme fatale–“darling,” “lover,” those syrupy tones. But I think she got better after the murder scene, especially when playing innocent with Columbo.
–The biggest treats to me in this show were Vincent Price and Fred Draper, who I liked much better here than in “Commodore.” I found him delightful as the chemist who bursts Viveca’s bubble with his falsifying results, and later being given what appears to be an torturing massage. And thanks to CP for identifying the drill-sergeant-masseuse as Anne Ramsey! I loved her in “Throw Momma from the Train.”
–I agree that Price was terribly underused. Would have loved to have seen more of him with Columbo. But it was kind of refreshing to see him as a non-villain for a change.
–Was Viveca really strong enough to hit Karl with that huge, heavy microscope hard enough to kill him? It seems that a lot of TV murders in that time were committed by blows to the head that don’t seem like they were strong enough to be fatal.
–Viveca and Shirley’s “secret” meeting place didn’t seem that secret. It was apparently close to her building, and when she’s walking down, a couple of joggers pass her. It seems that a path like that leading to a beach would be a popular place for people, including her employees, to walk. And Shirley’s car sitting right there on the beach should have attracted some attention.
–Lessing’s bank account–if he was supposed to go on vacation that day, he must have already bought the tickets for $3000–which may have left only $300 in his account.
–Many of Viveca’s lines were great–especially the “I love younger men” one.
–Finally, I would love having some of that cream!!!!
This episode was just on ME TV Sunday night so i’m guessing that’s the reason for the new comments. I agree that the Vincent Price was treat to have on not just Columbo, but any show. I’m guessing he was very busy at the time and could only be on set for a short period. Also your point about the blow to the head is quite true, i always thought several of the Columbo head strike murders would have realistically just caused a cut and a counter punch from the victim, but as you say that’s 70’s TV. I always considered this to be a “Columbo lite” type episode, not one of the better ones but still very entertaining and easy to watch.
A lot of the murders on Perry Mason were done by head blow, also–usually with a poker.
It appears Viveca was quite the physical specimen. Not only did she swiftly bring the heavy microscope to Karl’s head, but she managed to hurl the tell-tale cream jar well out the window, all the way to the rocks. Quite a toss! Maybe she spent her free hours (when she wasn’t with a young man) working out vigorously at the fat farm.
Columbo is always fun to watch, of course! But some episodes require almost as much suspension of disbelief as The Incredible Hulk. This episode gives us another no-evidence arrest. The D.A. likely will pass. If not, the Grand Jury won’t indict. Then our beloved lieutenant will be reprimanded….
“Columbo” is always fun to watch, of course! But some episodes require almost as much suspension of disbelief as “The Incredible Hulk”. This episode gives us another no-evidence arrest. The D.A. likely will pass. If not, the Grand Jury won’t indict. Then our beloved lieutenant will be reprimanded.
I’ve always enjoyed this episode, with its accomplished performances and pretty good murder scene. Sometimes we forget how good a serious actor Martin Sheen was prior to his immersion in the sitcom “2 1/2 Men” (eg war movie “Platoon” and this episode) and Miles and Price are fine. Columbo is in usual top form as well. But something has been missing that kept me from anticipating a showing of this one, as, say, “Any Port in a Storm” or “Uneasy Lies the Crown”, or any number of other old and newer episodes. I had thought perhaps it was just Ms. Miles’ plastic looking hair. Thanks Columbophile, for helping me get my arms around the deficiencies.
Yeah, that was quite the wig they put on Vera. One correction: you’re thinking of Martin’s son Charlie, who was in “Two-and-a-Half Men.”
chain-smoking weirdo LOL
I had high hopes for this episode, considering how much better Season 2 was than Season 1. I figured 3 would open with a bang. And when I saw the cast, I figured I was in for a treat. But your analysis nailed it. Still liked it, though! 😉
Good work.
Season 2 better than Season 1? Blasphemy! 🙂
😂
I liked it significantly more than you did, but with the radiant Vera Miles and the wonderful Vincent Price in the cast the episode would have to go right off the cliff (Dagger of the Mind) for me not to enjoy it. The script needed to give the leads a little more to work with. I would still rank it above Dead Weight, however.
Vera Miles is still with us, by the way (as of April 2021).
Vera is not only with us but if you write to her, she will most likely answer. Last year, I sent her a photo from “Lovely But Lethal” with a self-addressed stamped envelope and she sent it back with a lovely inscription in a couple of weeks. The address that I used is P.O. Box 1599, Palm Desert, CA 92261-1599.
One of my most favorite corny comments made by Vivica was her stating she didn’t put on her beauty mark until later in the day. This was always a part of my mother’s morning makeup ritual
“I’ve watched Lovely but Lethal many times, but it’s never moved me to any great extent. I’ve always thought that what it gives with one hand it seems to take with the other.”
Very well put description of this episode. Almost feels like they must’ve cut out a couple Price scenes, though I can’t imagine why.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the Jackson Gillis-scribed teleplays are generally not my bag. Often lackluster efforts, to borrow from Rich Weill.
The girl in the picture above, sucking on a straw is the same girl who went to bed with Dirty Harry in the movie, “Magnum Force”. Her character name was “Sunny”.
That aside, i just had to point out that i love the ending of this episode where Columbo shows Vera Miles the problem with the broken slide and she says, ‘VERY GOOD LIEUTENANT”, as if she admired Columbo’s detective work.
Watching Columbo after the debate debacle to relax. Came in after this episode started, so I found your summary. 😂 It is more entertaining than the episode! You write Funny, and I totally enjoyed your witty synopsis. I am going to read all your reviews, now. Thanks!
Again, such a great site and appreciate all the work you put into it. Thought I would add my thoughts on recent episodes I have watched (having first watched Columbo more than 40 years ago and now revisiting them).
This one truly was a weak episode–not because of the acting or the plot; but rather the poor writing. Perhaps, because as you note in your review, it was due to the writers’ strike but there was great potential wasted.
First, let’s start off with the Lessing/Scott scene. Seriously, he was stealing intellectual property from his employer. No need to call the police–simply get your attorney involved (yes, she tried, but he was playing squash). But to call the police–which later left a major alibi hole as phone records (though local vs toll calls create an issue in the 70s) of a police call from Lessing’s residence and her name dropping would come back to haunt her (if the writers had even thought about it). Rather, what could have been done is Scott threatening legal action and Lessing having something in his back pocket, such as “not so fast Viv, remember I know how you came up with the new lipstick a couple years ago” (a reference to the earlier comment from David Lang regarding Scott pirating the French lipstick).
Now for the two major missed opportunities, which could have easily turned this episode into a two-hour premiere episode. The acting was solid, pacing was good, so an extra 20-22 minutes would not have weighed it down–indeed, it would have added much to it. As others have commented, underutilizing Vincent Price was simply unforgiveable. Perhaps he did not have the time (or wanted more money for more screen time), but additional time with Price/Scott and Falk/Columbo would have been a home run (but sadly, we did not get the give and take between the two). Multiple ways to handle having Price in on more of the episode–for one, Lang and Viveca square off about Shirley Blaine (Lang letting Viv know that he knew his secretary may have been moonlighting). And Columbo and Lang had multiple reasons to have further discussions–learn more about Viveca, $200,000, Shirley Blaine’s death, etc.
As for the other miss–Blaine’s death. It added nothing to the story or Columbo catching the murderer (or “woman” as Columbo says) but easily could/should have. Blaine’s cigarettes left on the road by Viveca could have played a role–such as someone from the “retreat” finding them (as the road must be on or near the retreat) and bringing them back to the farm commenting to Viv that cigarettes are a “no-no” here and we need to admonish the offender.
In passing, Columbo could have noticed the brand name. Also, a scene of Columbo at the car accident where he discovers the various cigarettes in the car but notices one cigarette different than all the others would have added additional background/evidence (additionally, Columbo notices the same brand of used cigarettes in the car as those left on the street by Viv–if writers wanted to go there but certainly not needed).
The purpose for Columbo having some role with the car accident is for the “gotcha” at the end. Far too many times, the ending in Columbo falls flat or leaves an empty feeling. The writers try to be too cute (or lazy). It is disappointing as we have a great ride and then run out of gas before we hit the garage. I know that throughout the episodes there are moments and evidence that Columbo latches onto and sometimes points out to the suspect/murderer–so perhaps at the end, he does not need to bring those up–why repeat what is already known? But often the one single reason or piece of evidence is simply not strong enough for the suspect to concede and admit guilt (especially this episode). Not to compare Sherlock (BBC) and Columbo, especially given one is 40 years later, has a larger budget, far fewer episodes, and more technology, but I prefer Sherlock’s endings as they tend to be so much more fun and satisfying (though at great speed requiring one to watch multiple times).
Here, Viveca gives up simply with Columbo discovering he has poison ivy? That is quite sad. She puts up no fight such as responding that the poison ivy likely was transmitted when the urushiol oil from your (Columbo’s) hand brushed up against mine. Columbo certainly could say perhaps but respond with we never touched or anytime we talked, you had gloves on. To add additional evidence, there was initially some foreshadowing (well, at least I thought) when Columbo mentions Lessing leaving a key outside of his residence (one Viv used to get in). It was never mentioned again or located–perhaps it could have been the additional piece of evidence having been discovered in Viv’s purse (assuming she forgot to toss it) during the search of her lab/office.
And to have Blaine’s death actually mean something to the viewer (and to help with the “gotcha” ending), the police search in Viveca’s office/lab easily could have led to the discovery of the poison used by Viv to lace the cigarette. From that, Columbo could have summed up the story with “the poison ivy simply kept me scratching for more and given it and the handwriting on the magazine, I have little doubt that the substance just discovered will match the poison the lab identified in the cigarette from Blaine’s car.”
Simply put, too many missed opportunities.
Excellent analysis. You should be a scriptwriter! It struck me also that there was no evidence (at least that we were shown) that could connect Viveca to Shirley’s death. Without that she could plead to a lesser charge, as she didn’t visit Lessing with the purpose of murdering him but struck him in the heat of the moment.
You missed your true calling. Good points. And yes, even in the unlikely event that the poison ivy was considered sufficient evidence, it could likely be pleaded down to manslaughter without knowledge of the second murder.
The Viveca character, running a business empire and demanding “devotion from her handsome young men,” reminds me of Ruth Chatterton as Alison Drake, owner of the auto company in “Female” (1933), a pre-Code gem.
Thanks for the classic film tip Rob!