Episode highlights / Opinion / Season 3

5 best moments from Any Old Port in a Storm

Glasses - Copy

Carsini’s 70s look would be cutting edge today, more than 45 years after he debuted it in Any Old Port

For some Columbo episodes, finding five truly great moments can be a challenge. For Any Old Port in a Storm, the opposite is true. Whittling it down to just five top scenes is no easy feat when it’s as packed with greatness as a bottle of Ferrier Vintage port.

Still, that’s the assignment I’ve set myself, so after much soul searching and hand wringing I’ve come up with my personal list of episode highlights, which I accept may be vastly different to your own. C’est la vie, mes amis.

So without further ado, grab yourself a glass of magnificent claret, sit back and enjoy the most thrilling highs of Any Old Port in a Storm.

5. “I’m sorry I bothered you…”

Port2

For once, Columbo finds himself on the receiving end of a succession of annoying interruptions – and it’s a delight to behold.

Sitting nursing a beer in a bar and trying to listen in to the news report about the death of Ric Carsini, the Lieutenant is continually bothered by a burbling drunk sitting to his left. An impatient Columbo has to repeatedly shush the fellow before he finally gets the message, ending his attempts to communicate with one of Columbo’s oft-used lines: “I’m sorry I bothered you…” Cracking stuff!

4. Flying first class, 70s’ style!

Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm

Karen looked longingly at Adrian’s double-parked glass of vino

When Adrian, his secretary Karen and his trio of wine-loving pals Falcon, Stein and Lewis head to New York, it’s first class luxury all the way – and an unintentionally hilarious slice of the 70s’ high life.

As Adrian reclines in his ginormous chair and orders Karen about, his pals sit nearby, blissfully surrounding an airline stewardess who’s belting out a crowd-pleasing tune on an electric keyboard. Whatever they’re paying, it’s worth it!

The rib-tickling scene ends with a comedy close-up of Adrian’s disgusted face as he samples a mouthful of the presumed ‘iodine’ the airline was serving, which was clearly more Merino Brothers than Carsini. Magic!

3. Columbo heads to Hipsterville

Columbo hipsters

Spot the DEVIANT! Clue: it’s not the one on the right

When tasked with the unpleasant job of breaking news of Ric Carsini’s death to his fiancee, Joan, Columbo has an audience of uber-cool pillocks to contend with at the hipster-filled lakeside retreat.

The place is simply awash with booze, aviator shades and devil-may-care fashions, and is a gloriously awful encapsulation of the vacuous lifestyle of rich and bored 20-somethings of the era.

My secret favourite part of this all? The couples rock ‘n’ roll dancing in the long shots of the club patio. We’re served up 360 degree spins, high kicks and the’tug of war’ in scenes that have to be seen to be believed and make me long for a life of idle frivolity in the 70s. Revisit it yourself below. Word on the street is that a lot of scotch and vodka had to be consumed to make this scene as authentic as possible. They nailed it!

2. An exciting meal has been ruined…

No one reading this needs to be told why this is a great scene. The Carsini meltdown is one of the most enjoyable scenes of its type ever filmed, culminating in the explosive “LIQUID FILTH” line of legend – a line that no actor, ever, could have delivered better than Donald Pleasence.

Beyond that, though, the scene has many aspects to treasure: Carsini’s insistence that the table given to Columbo is exchanged for a better one; his surprise and delight at Columbo’s wine selections and masterful warning to Karen not to smoke and ruin the vintage port; Vito Scotti’s simpering Maitre D’; and Columbo sneaking back in after the hullabaloo to slip the humiliated waiting staff a couple of dollars.

It’s extraordinary stuff and would be the absolute pinnacle of virtually any other Columbo episode, so it’s a testament to the strength of Any Old Port that it doesn’t take top spot here. That honour goes to…

1. The bittersweet farewell

The final scene – a mutually respectful exchange of compliments and wine in Columbo’s car as he drives Adrian away from his winery to a life behind bars – is a beautiful thing.

Adrian Carsini

The final exchange in Any Old Port ranks amongst the series best ever scenes

Two perfectionists, from completely different sides of the tracks, have found a genuine understanding and appreciation of the other. It’s the sort of TV moment that almost doesn’t exist any more and is all the more poignant because of it. This is easily amongst the top handful of Columbo scenes across the entire series.

“It’s the sort of TV moment that almost doesn’t exist any more and is all the more poignant because of it.”

I have no problem believing there will be grumbles of discontent amongst some readers for the exclusion of terrific scenes such as Adrian wonking Ric over the head; the gotcha itself; the wine auction; and the connoisseurs wishing their enemies eternal misery, but when competition is this hot, something’s gotta give!

Let me know your own highlights in the comments section below and you can revisit my full episode review right here. Until next time, Sante!


Find out where Any Old Port ranks in the list of Columbo fans’ favourite episodes here.

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Columbo Any Old Port

Find someone who looks at you like Carsini looks at his $5000 bottle of wine; like Falcon looks at Carsini; like Stein looks at Falcon; and like Lewis looks at Stein…

44 thoughts on “5 best moments from Any Old Port in a Storm

  1. The lakeside dancing hipster scene was so hilariously corny that it was great! Reminds me of the poolside scene in Swan Song where the men are wearing suit jackets and the women wearing bikinis. The final scene of Any Old Port between Columbo and Carsini was superb, two great actors in their prime.

  2. Any old port in a Storm is also better than Dagger of the mind , Murder under Glass Mind over mayhem and Short fuse although I enjoy Short fuse ending better , The Ending of Any old port in a Storm is a Carbon copy of Swan songs ending .
    Donald pleascance also played the famous James Bond Villain Blofeld in You only Live twice which I Think was 1967 any fellow bond fans please correct me if im wrong also honor Blackman who played pussy Galore in Goldfinger and Louis Jordan played a villain in Octopussy
    The Quality of the cast which was recruited for columbo was just of such a High Standard it seems No wonder columbo was the greatest series of all time. RIP peace Donald pleasence who departed this life in I think 1995.

    • Yes, in both “Any Old Port in a Storm” and “Swan Song,” Columbo tricks the murderer into revealing something incriminating that only the murderer knows. But that’s true in a lot of episodes: “Negative Reaction,” “Short Fuse,” “Double Exposure,” “Deadly State of Mind,” etc. What distinguishes “Any Old Port” in my mind is how the “gotcha” exploited something deep in Adrian Carsini’s character: his intolerance of imperfect wine. For this reason, I put the “Any Old Port” ending in the same column with “By Dawn’s Early Light” (where Col. Rumford’s intolerance of a breach of discipline proved to be his undoing) and “The Bye-Bye Sky High I.Q. Murder Case” (where Oliver Brandt was undone by his revulsion at the notion that another Sigma Society member might be considered as smart as he). Those endings tap into the core of the murderer’s character.

  3. Great post columbophile , They are the best moments from Any old port in a Storm but my Problem is that I know this episode is worshipped by the majority of fans often given No1 or best episode status , I on the other hand are just not one of them , this is one episode I don’t mind matching but do not go out of my way to do so , I think the restaurant scene is comical but way overrated , I prefer the homeless shelter scene from Negative Reaction much more and the episode negative reaction which for me is at least top 5 , The murder plot seems rather thin it seemed like it was more like a Manslaughter and Adrian never made sure Ric was even dead which for me is a flaw and then I just don’t enjoy all that boring wine talk which the episode is centred around and I cant say it really makes me laugh like negative reaction , Try and catch me or The bye – bye does . I appreciate there were great performances especially from Donald pleasance but I still don’t like this episode much , It just doesn’t do it for me why its worshipped so highly and by so many I will never fully understand. however id rather it than these episodes , A matter of Honour , Last salute , Dead Weight ,Requiem for a falling star and yes Lovely but lethal .

  4. Speaking of “annoying interruptions,” “Any Old Port” may have the series’ best “just one more thing” moment —- when Columbo reappears at Karen’s window to ask her “one more question.”

  5. The drunk bugging Columbo in the bar scene was Robert Donner, a regular guest star on the ’70’s drama “The Waltons”, and the dreadful “Mork & Mindy” comedy series, in the late ’70’s/early ’80’s. Pleasence was amazing here in the role of Adrian Carsini. My favorite role of his was on the “Twilight Zone” episode titled “The Changing of the Guard” (ep. 102, from season 3), where he played a retirement-aged prep school teacher. If you get a chance, watch it. He’s magnificent in that role, along with Any Old Port, and so many others.

    Some of the moments that jumped out at me from this episode:
    1) The 3 – toadying wine snobs holding their glasses by the base, using terms like “such a delicate after taste”, and Adrian’s condescending Texan-bumpkin smear (which would earn him a serious a$$ whooping in my neck of the woods).

    2) After criticizing Rick’s mother’s heritage, Adrian calls his dear little (step) brother a ‘muscle bound hedonist’, and ‘ignorant Neapolitan’. Classic stereotypical bigotry.

    3) After Adrian returns from NYC (which he refers to as “Fun City”?), he walks into the wine room and doesn’t show any facial expressions that would normally accompany the stench from the decaying corpse within. He then somehow not only picks up and carries his much larger brother to his car and an adjoining garage (rigomortis anyone?), but somehow manages to take off his street clothes and place him in a tight fitting rubber dive suit, which would be nearly impossible. Would he know how the scuba gear is positioned before he lugged him down the cliff on treacherous rocks and placed him in the sea? Would he know to turn on the tanks? Besides, Rick seemed to be still moving when Adrian left for New York, and would probably have been able to come to and slide toward the wine room’s door and push his way out. It’s ironic that the actor who portrayed Rick (Gary Conway, whose real name is Gareth Monello Carmody) now owns his own vineyard (Carmody-McKnight Estate Vineyards) with his wife in California. He co-starred with his good friend Gene Barry (Dr. Ray Flemming in Prescription: Murder) in Burke’s Law, a successful television series in the ’60’s, which also included several episodes with Anne Francis, as Honey West, which spun off as its own series for 1 season. (the lovely Francis appeared in 2 – Columbo episodes, with parts in “Short Fuse” and as one of the victims in “A Stitch in Crime”)

    4) The “groovy” music at the lake club (with lot’s of wah-wah guitar tone), in addition to the clothing style and hotties strutting in their tight bikinis. The only ‘music’ that rivals this tune in lameness is in “Short Fuse”, when the Roddy McDowell and Anne Francis’ characters meet “discreetly” at the bar, and the scene shifts back from the bar to his Uncle’s car before it explodes after opening the cigar case. Both of these music scores are truly dreadful, but I can’t seem to get the melodies out of my head.

    5) The way Columbo deduces what blend of wine Adrian gives him in his office, using basic logic, sparking a true mutual admiration/appreciation society between the two.

    6) Adrian’s ’66 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and Rick’s red ’67 Ferrari 330GTS, along with Columbo’s ’60 Peugot 403 Cabriolet, and Carsini’s ’71 Chevy Kingswood station wagon (what Adrian used to haul the spoiled wine down to the water).

    7) My favorite of all: Adrian throwing multiple bottles of spoiled wine directly into the sea and adjoining rocks. He wasn’t faking that. Those glasses shattered all over the rocks. I can imagine the enviro-nazis of today considering that littering of the beach more of a capital offense even than Rick’s murder. Marvelous!

    More useless trivia: The Frenchman that Columbo asked to train him on wine knowledge in an hour and a half, was played by George Gaynes, who starred on the “Punky Brewster” tv series and all of the “Police Academy” movies. He lived to be 98.

    Also, Charlie Jones, who was an ABC & NBC sportscaster, was the newsman who announced Rick’s death on tv, as Columbo & the drunk watched from the bar. He was an announcer with the old American Football League, and later the NFL, as well as major league baseball, golf, tennis, the Olympics, and many other sports, up until his death several years ago.

    Of course, the omnipresent Mike Lally as the bartender that gives Columbo change for the phone call to the local weather station. He appeared in 24 of the first 45 episodes (during the classic years), more than any other guest.

  6. Great observations. The pictures capture a couple of interesting character players from back in the day: (3) The “hipster” dude at the beach is Robert Walden, best remembered by some of us as the wise-ass reported Rossi in “Lou Grant”; and (5) The drunk is Robert Donner, who did lots of things (including 2 later Columbo episodes, “Caution: Murder Can Be Hazardous” and the best-forgotten “Undercover) but stands out for me in memory from “Mork and Mindy,” where he had a recurring role as Exidor, a sort of mad prophet and the only character more bizarre than Mork.

  7. it is rumoured that Uncle Rudy’s mansion is at 333 Copa de Oro, Bel Air, CA. My employer lives in that area, and folks are famously private, so googling the address gets you a shot of the exterior hedge. But the address was also apparently used as the Drysdale mansion in “Beverly Hillbillies”.

  8. Firstly, regarding the five moments, I agree with Nos. 1 and 2, both of which are just sensational, and 5, which was funny in and of itself, and hilarious when you realize how it is mocking the nudnik Columbo. However, I would definitely replace No. 3 and No. 4 with any two of these far better scenes: a) The murder scene: the manner in which these two selfish and utterly opposite brothers fight it out and needle each other is superb. It is worth it just for the priceless line, “Marino Bros.? MARINO BROS.? 69-cents a gallon Marino Bros.? They don’t make wine, they don’t even make a good mouthwash!” b) The “love-affair” breakup is just peerless in its psychology and its acting by both Pleasance and Harris. c) Finally, Columbo’s wine-tasting scene, where he nearly floors Carsini with his review, “Sensitive breeding, rich bouquet, strong vinosity, ” before revealing that he kinda cheated.

    I also reviewed your episode review, and I must disagree with you on a number of points: 1) How in the world can you place Double Shock — with its so-so murder plan, mediocre proof, and average acting — and the full-of-holes “Lady in Waiting” above this sensational episode? And BTW, although William Link admits in a Youtube interview that the 2-hr episodes were generally a stretch, since it was rare that all the filler scenes ended up being successful, he indicated without hesitation that this was his favorite Columbo episode. Indeed, besides the time wasted moving the parked cars, all the other filler scenes were indeed worthy in this one. 2) Although I have often debated your opinions (as is inevitable regarding a show like this), I have always marveled at your unparalleled knowledge of each episode. That is why I was so surprised to see you miss several key facts in this episode: i) You state that he’s “evidently flinging the wine away to avoid it being used to incriminate him” and wonder why he’d do so to his beloved wine collection just to get Karen out of his life. Yet you somehow missed hearing Columbo, in his first words to the stunned Carsini, saying, “They were all ruined, weren’t they?” Yes, he threw them away because they were all ruined by the heat. Why, then, did he not just pour them down a drain? He is so furious and pained at having to dump them that he cannot stand seeing the sight of them any longer. It also seems perfectly logical to me that he would dump it precisely where he dumped his hated brother, who caused this whole mess. ii) You wonder why he did not just kill his brother with another whack to the head. I thought it was obvious that his whole plan was based on creating an alibi that he was 3,000 miles away at the time of the death. Hence, it had to occur at a later time, after he had already flown away. Had he killed him immediately, he would have had no alibi. iii) Regarding how the wine overheating proves his murder, I think it is a combination of strong circumstantial evidence. First, why would he ever turn off his A/C when he was going away for a week, knowing what a costly collection of wine he had there? Add to that the fact that the victim had not eaten for several days, and that the car was neither seen by anyone all week, nor was there any sign it had been out in the rain, and I think any jury would convict. Plus, Columbo thinking he understood Carsini’s psychology, seemed to be banking on the fact that once he nailed him with the wine scene, he would be broken and would confess to the whole thing. Thus, he immediately asks Carsini, “Will I get a confession?” – as if expecting one to come — and Carsini indeed responds instantly, “Oh, yes, you will – and there is no remorse.”

    • Most scripts have many holes in the murders. It’s my humble opinion that the charm of the show was the Columbo character and the way he handled his investigations. We all have our favorite episodes. Ironically Double Shock stands out as one of my favorites. Mainly due to the interaction of Columbo and Mrs. Peck, She is about the only character that directly insulted Columbo about his personal habits. Others did in a humorous way. i.e. when Jackie Cooper in “Candidate for Crime” was told by Columbo he visited his tailor:

      “Would you believe it? The first thing I did this morning when I left your campaign headquarters, I run right over to your tailor’s.

      I’m sure he was delighted.
      He loves a challenge”

      I always remember what Alfred Hitchcock replied when asked by the actor “How is this possible” Hitch replied “Its only a movie”.

      • Well, I kinda guessed why you liked that episode from your nick. For me, that was one of the turnoffs. I refer to the old saying, “Once is a joke, twice is…” The first explosion was funny. The second one less so, the 3rd 4th and 5th times, my reaction was, “It’s not funny anymore.” Plus, the murder plan was unintelligent, the proof and gotcha was paltry, and the acting from Landau IMHO was merely ok and a tad over the top.

        • All valid points. Yes the interaction between Columbo and Mrs. Peck could have been a little more drawn out then needed. What amused me is that she was more concerned with Columbos untidiness and her TV soap opera, then who commited the murder.

          • But now you have to change your nick, because Mrs. Peck would never be as gracious, or as quick to admit that she may have overdone it as you were.

  9. I absolutely adore every single episode of Columbo , he’s style and grace is such a delight everything that as being lost to the modern shows today. He was definitely one of the best actors of his time . He was a remarkable character and l feel hard done by which he’s illness took over him completely. I watch all he’s shows to keep him alive.
    A pure beautiful gentleman.

    • I personally find it very hard to pinpoint Vito Scottis best moment. My personal favorite was as the funeral director in “Swan Song” Followed by the down and out in Negative Reaction.

      • I like when he’s the Tailor in Candidate For Crime. And The fellow Piasan giving Columbo Muscata grapes.
        But I agree about his wino in Negative reaction. He plays a fallen erudite gentleman. You ever notice that old guy ( who is also in negative reaction sitting in the alley) that is in every Columbo? I wonder if he’s a relative or friend of Falk?

        • The old guy you reference was Mike Lally, who appears in small roles or extras in at least 23 episodes, but was likely on set for almost all of the 70s episodes. He was a friend of Peter’s.

      • Thr entire dialogue between Scotti, Columbo and the nun is side splitting.

        Mr. Dolan?

        Yes?

        May I?

        I insist.
        How are you today?

        I want you to understand something.
        If you think you found a scintillating breakfast companion, sir I say you’ve found me at my worst.

        Well, I’m not at my best, either.

        I got to say, this stuff is not bad.
        What is this? Beef stew? That is the prevailing theory.

        You don’t remember me, do you? I’m Lieutenant Columbo.
        We met last night.
        Yeah, I’m investigating the murder that took place up there on Devlin Road.

        Perhaps I should get in touch with my barrister.

        No, that won’t be necessary, sir.
        You’re not a suspect.
        All I want to do is, I just want to double-check the statement that you made last night.
        Here we are.
        This is what you said.
        I’d like to read it to you.

        We are in luck.
        That’s all right.
        You stay.
        I found exactly the right thing.
        It’s warm, and look, it’s hardly been used at all.
        You stand up and we’ll try it on.
        I appreciate what you’re doing.
        I really do, but I’ve had this coat for seven years.
        Oh, you poor man! Don’t be ashamed.

        No, I’m very fond of it.
        And besides I’m from the police force, ma’am.
        My name is Lieutenant Columbo.

        All are welcome here, Lieutenant.
        No, but you see, I’m actually working on a case now.

        Oh, I see! You mean, you’re working undercover.
        How clever you are, Lieutenant.
        You know, you fooled even me.
        Oh, and please Please, forgive me for interrupting your investigation.
        I’m sorry.
        And don’t worry I won’t tell a soul about your disguise.

        Thank you.

        It’s good.

        It’s really very good.
        Stay.
        Good luck.

        Lieutenant, why don’t you sit down before your beef gets cold? Do you play cribbage?
        Listen, I’d love to join you but unfortunately, I’m tied up on this investigation.
        Do you have a moment? Because I’d like to read this to you.
        Is that all right?

        Yeah.
        This is your statement.
        You said: “‘At first, I thought it was some child playing with a firecracker.
        “‘I nearly went to take a look “‘but the spirit being more willing than the flesh “‘I decided to remain where I was.
        “‘After a touch of the grape to induce slumber “‘I’d just about settled back when I heard the noise again so I got up to investigate.
        “I got out of the car and I started toward the shack.
        “‘That’s when this man came limping toward me.
        “‘His leg was bleeding.
        “‘He was trying to find a phone.
        “‘ That’s your statement.
        I’ll tell you what bothers me about this.
        According to this there seems to be a considerable gap between the shots.
        A time lapse between the first shot and the second shot.
        Couple of seconds or it could be more.
        I wonder, now, could you be more specific?

        Lieutenant, I honestly must say this to you.
        I don’t remember saying any of that.
        I’m not saying you’re fabricating all this.
        But I frankly do not remember anything of last night.

    • Old 55, Agree, super love the Vito Scotti maître d’ and the wine steward puzzled wine tasting slurps in tandem! Though every episode and scene with Mr. Scotti is so watchable, engaging and amusing. An invaluable highlight whenever he was cast.
      Any Old Port is one of my favorites overall, despite the need for serious suspension of disbelief about handling the corpse after nearly a week. Yet, 45 years ago we were not all armchair CSIs from watching technical police procedural shows – and it worked.

  10. Hello fellow Columbophile fans. My 2 cents for wonderful lines/scenes from Old Port include his secretary: Adrian refers to Karen as “my sweet” on the way to NY;is he drunk on airplane liquid filth? his “generosity” at sending Ric a 5k wedding check (which he knows he’ll never have to part with). After dinner with Columbo he dubs her sterile and passionless, only an employee. Well that doesn’t stop Karen from putting the screws to him. She wants a partnership, a vacation and will settle on a loveless marriage! And when she leans in for a kiss Adrian looks both appalled and disgusted! I’m thinking she might want to be careful that SHE doesn’t get wacked on the back of her bun!!

      • Is it possible that Adrian was gay? Going to prison would afford him the opportunity to meet and be with a group of men.

  11. I’m glad you showcased any old port in a storm. An excellent episode which we watch regularly. Although I don’t find anything at all awful about the group of jet-setters enjoying their idle time at the lakeside. I also do not believe anyone was guzzling Scotch during the filming of that episode. I’m sure on your part it was just a colourful allusion. Being a major fan of seventies TV these type of dance scenes are very common and they all look like that. From Banacek to Hawaii Five-O they all have a similar innocent quality and people just aren’t used to watching white people dance anymore. I actually thought that scene was lovely myself. That particular female dancer who is doing the spins was very good. If anybody was doing any drinking during the filming of a Columbo it would have been the principles and the director in the most terrible Colombo ever produced (except possibly some Columbo’s in the late 80s) which was called last salute to the Commodore. There’s no way that extras would be allowed to drink on the set. In my opinion the best scene of the episode was the death scene. The writing and the emotional build-up to the actual kill is exquisite. It’s so great any muscle-bound hedonist would have to enjoy it. By the way, that scene at the side of the lake where the idle rich play was done in Westlake California. I had the pleasure of working in that area back in the early 2000s. Last question,how come you never talk about The Most Deadly Match? Forgive me if you did and I just missed it. I find that episode very cerebral and worthy of comment. Thanks for your website I enjoy it.

    • Hello there! Yes, I was indeed being a bit tongue in cheek about the level of imbibing going on at the lake club. Thanks for the info on the location, because I had been looking to see where it was but there was no info on IMDB about it. I have written a full review of Most Dangerous Match, and some a ‘5 best moments’ for it, so if you type the title into the search bar they ought to come up in a flash.

      • I really enjoyed your caption of the picture on the plane with the wine bottle! Very funny!
        By the way I lived in the Sanfernado valley and parts of Southern california around San Diego and L.A. for about 13 years.( between 95 and 2008) I routinely recognize locations. I’ve been in several of the places that were used and always enjoy seeing LA in the 70’s. L.A. and its environs will always hold a mystique for me. I’m always telling my wife, ” ,”I’ve been there”., or “I’ve been on that street.” Cheers

        • I’ve been seeking for some locations for some time and no one seems to know where they are, so if you know where the following are I’d be most interested:-
          – Viveca Scott fat farm in Lovely but Lethal
          – Precise location of lakeside club in Any Old Port
          – Van Wick home in Playback
          – Nelson Hayward home in Candidate for Crime
          – Uncle Rudy’s mansion in Suitable for Framing
          – Bo Williamson home in Blueprint for Murder

          Many thanks!

    • I loved your line about the drinking on Last Salute. Man was that bad. As I said here recently, there wasn’t a single aspect in which that episode was NOT downright dreadful – including acting, directing, plot, music, humor, gotcha, etc. etc. etc.

      • Leosmart U are so right about Last Salute, it was terrible, possibly the worst. Poor Peter Falk having to act in it – at least the guest stars like Robert Vaughan could have said no.

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