Columbo was in exulted company on 7 October 1973, as the second episode of Season 3 pitted him against his most highbrow opponent yet: wine connoisseur Adrian Carsini.
It’s a true fans’ favourite, but under critical analysis is Any Old Port in a Storm truly a vintage episode, or is it comparative swill? To put it another way, is it a Ferrier Port, or a Marino Brothers carbonated rosé? I can’t wait to find out…
Dramatis personae
Lieutenant Columbo: Peter Falk
Adrian Carsini: Donald Pleasence
Ric Carsini: Gary Conway
Karen Fielding: Julie Harris
Joan Stacey: Joyce Jillson
Maitre D‘: Vito Scotti
Billy Fine: Robert Walden
Directed by: Leo Penn
Written by: Stanley Ross and Larry Cohen
Score by: Dick De Benedictis
Episode synopsis: Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm
Winemaker extraordinaire Adrian Carsini is hosting an intimate Sunday shindig at the family winery for three highbrow cohorts. After some pleasantries, Adrian ducks out to fetch a bottle of fine claret from his office. Ear-wigging in via intercom, he overhears his fellow connoisseurs confirming that they’re about to name Carsini as the Wine Society’s ‘Man of the Year’.
The wind is taken out of his sails, however, when he’s confronted in his office by hedonistic half-brother Ric. Polar opposites in every way, Ric is sick of Adrian’s pursuit of wine perfection over financial gain. He’s come to Adrian seeking a $5000 loan so he can jet to Acapulco to get married for the fourth time.
There’s no love lost between the Carsini kids…
Adrian is unimpressed and the two trade barbs before Ric slips in the sucker punch: he’s planning to sell the land the winery is built on to mass-market wine producers, the Marino Brothers!
Adrian is livid! The prospect of losing the one thing that has meaning for him stings him into action. He snatches up a heavy object and smashes Ric over the head. Ric is out cold, but alive. Showing remarkable composure, Adrian gathers the claret and heads back to his guests.
He receives another surprise, though, as officious secretary Karen Fielding is outside his office prepping for the pair’s looming wine-buying trip to New York. She’s seen Ric’s car outside, but before she can ask too many questions Adrian shoos her off home to pack some ‘splendid gowns’ for the trip. He then finally returns to his guests who ‘surprise’ him with news of his impending accolade.
“Adrian and co are soon chilling in the cabin of the airliner as a comely hostess delights onlookers with a fine performance on an electric piano.”
The happy quartet then engage in the most mean-spirited toast in televisual history, as Adrian says: “May our enemies never be as happy as we are at this moment.” Ummmm, cheers…?
After all this frivolity, Adrian has to deal with the aftermath of his spat with Ric. And by ‘aftermath’ I mean dragging Ric’s beefcake body to the wine cellar and trussing him up like a spring chicken. Switching off the air conditioning unit that regulates the temperature of the precious wines, Adrian leaves Ric to his fate.
The next thing we see is Adrian, Karen and co chilling in the cabin of the airliner as a comely hostess delights onlookers with a fine performance on an electric piano. It’s first-class travel 70s style, and is utterly fabulous.
To prove to Karen how pally he and Ric are, Adrian asks her to send a cheque for $5000 to the newlyweds in Acapulco – a sum Adrian promptly spends on a single bottle of wine for himself at one of the auctions. His justification? “No one really needs a $5000 bottle of wine, Karen. I just don’t want anybody else to have it.” We’ve all been there, ammirite?
Back in LA, meanwhile, the should-be Mrs Ric Carsini is worried. Her fiancé never arrived in Acapulco and there’s no sign of him here either. She tries to report him to missing persons, but the department is empty. Instead she finds Lieutenant Columbo, who promises to do what he can.
Congratulations, it’s a… $5000 bottle of wine!
Some days later, Adrian is back home and ready to complete his cunning plan. Somehow squeezing Ric’s bloated corpse into a wetsuit and then into the Ferrari, Adrian drives out to a remote cliffside location and tips Ric’s body into the ocean. He then cycles back to the winery on a silly little fold-up bike.
It’s not long before the body is found. It looks like a diving accident, where Ric’s dashed his swede underwater and passed out before running out of air. Columbo is amongst the crime scene investigators and when the body is identified as Ric Carsini, he remembers it’s the missing person the mystery blonde reported to him some days ago.
Heading out to the lakeside club where Ms Stacey hangs out with her cool cat pals, the Lieutenant delivers the bad news. The hipsters receives it surprisingly well – even furnishing Columbo with useful background info that Ric and half-brother Adrian didn’t get on and that Ric was planning to sell the winery. It’s reason enough for Columbo to immediately suspect Adrian of foul play.
Fashion Goals Part 1
The case throws up its usual puzzles for Columbo. Medical examiners reveal that Ric hadn’t eaten for 2 days before his death. For a guy with such a healthy appetite this seems odd. Also suspicious is that Ric’s treasured Ferrari 330 GTS seems to have been left with its top down on a rainy day (Columbo checked with the weather bureau to find out) – and there’s not so much as a watermark on the paintwork. How can that be?
Columbo gathers a good amount of circumstantial evidence, but with Adrian known to have been on the East Coast on the presumed day of Rick’s death, his chances of securing an arrest seem slim. Even a nosy around Adrian’s wine cellar appears to lead to a dead end. Columbo is desperate to find out whether someone could be locked in the cellar and suffocate, but he discovers that getting out from within is child’s play as the door can’t be locked from the outside.
He does find out something useful, though. The air conditioner for the cellar is vital in keeping the wine at the right temperature and humidity. Without it, very hot days could cause the wine to reach high temperatures and spoil.
No known reason for Carsini’s tie design is known to science
Columbo’s policeman’s nose tells him that Carsini is his man. But a visit to see Karen at her home seems to put paid to that. She confirms that on the day of hers and Adrian’s trip to New York, she saw Ric both arrive and leave the winery. If that’s true, Adrian is definitely innocent. To apologise for suspecting Adrian, Columbo offers to take both he and Karen to dinner the next evening.
The three meet at one of LA’s most exclusive eateries, although Adrian is initially disgusted that Columbo has been seated near the kitchen. His temper turns to delight, though, as he finds the Lieutenant to have swiftly honed his wine appreciation skills to perfectly select wines to match their meals.
The best is saved till last as Columbo summons the sommelier to order a bottle of 1945 vintage Ferrier Port – one of the finest ports known to man. Adrian is giddy with joy at the prospect of rounding out a fine dining experience with such a venerated drop.
“An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this… LIQUID FILTH!”
His smile soon dies on his lips, however. Although Columbo and Karen near swoon with how good the port it is, Adrian’s superior palate identifies a problem. “This…is…dreadful,” he softly fumes to the sommelier. “Don’t you realise that a great wine is like a great work of art? Such disdain cannot and will not be tolerated!”
Adrian can tell that the wine has been exposed to temperatures in excess of 150 degrees, oxidising and spoiling it. His rage at this poor treatment cannot be masked: “Is there something wrong? Everything is wrong,” he bellows to the Maitre d’. “An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this… LIQUID FILTH!”
The flustered Maitre d’ insists that they don’t pay for the meal as Adrian storms off in Timmy temper. Columbo catches his guests outside, and Adrian reiterates that the wine was definitely bad due to overheating.
This reminds Columbo of the super-hot day LA experienced when Carsini was away in New York, and how the Columbo family fridge packed in leaving him with only warm beer to drink. That day had seen the mercury hit 109 degrees in the shade, which means that indoors without air conditioning the temperatures were even higher. He then thanks Karen again for confirming that she’d seen Ric drive away on the fateful Sunday, and bids the couple farewell.
Adrian is most displeased to hear that Karen has lied for him. On the drive home, he expresses his resentment that she now has a hold over him. In response Karen tells him that she wants to be more than an employee: she wants to become Mrs Carsini! Stunned, Adrian tells her they’ll talk about it in the morning and leaves her without a backwards glance.
The spin-off series At Home with the Carsinis was a short-lived, humourless affair
We next find him in his cellar filling baskets with wines, which he drives to a clifftop to fling into the churning Pacific. When returning to his car he finds Lieutenant Columbo lying in wait.
“They were all spoiled, weren’t they?” the detective asks. Adrian spins a yarn that he’s just getting rid of some inferior wines but Columbo doesn’t buy it. He’s learnt his stuff, and recognises that the bottles Adrian is discarding represent a great personal and financial sacrifice.
“Adrian’s one of the few men in the world with a palate delicate enough to have discerned that the wine had been overheated. His own ego does him in.”
Columbo then reveals all: on the day Adrian left him in the wine cellar to try and find a way out, the Lieutenant had pocketed a bottle from Adrian’s collection. That bottle was the very same Ferrier Port they drank in the restaurant, and that Adrian had himself identified as having been subjected to a temperature of more than 150 degrees.
The irony isn’t lost on Adrian. He’s one of the few men in the world with a palate delicate enough to have discerned that the wine had been overheated. His own excellence and ego have done him in.
A resigned Adrian gives himself up. He’ll be glad to confess to a crime he feels no remorse for. Besides, what’s his other option? A loveless marriage to Karen? Hardly. “I suppose freedom is purely relative,” he sighs as Columbo leads him to his battered Peugeot to be driven downtown.
There’s time for one last stop off at the winery, though. Cutting off the engine, Columbo produces a bottle of Montefiascone dessert wine and two glasses. The men drink a toast before we see Adrian drain a glass at a gulp and clutch the bottle to his chest as credits roll…
Any Old Port‘s best moment: the bittersweet farewell
The final scene – a mutually respectful exchange in Columbo’s car as he drives Adrian away from his winery to a life behind bars – is a beautiful thing. Two perfectionists, from completely different sides of the tracks, have found a genuine understanding and appreciation of the other. It’s the sort of TV moment that almost doesn’t exist any more and is all the more poignant because of it.
And you know what that means, don’t you? Yes, it’s an even better scene than LIQUID FILTH and easily one of the best ever Columbo moments.
My views on Any Old Port in a Storm
From its opening moments, where our gracious host references Titian, Any Old Port in a Storm has a lexicon and style all of its own.
Regular readers of this blog may be aware that Any Old Port leads the way in the fans’ favourite episode poll by a mile (see the top 10 here). Donald Pleasence’s performance as Adrian Carsini is a huge part of why this episode has captured fans’ imaginations for decades.
Fashion Goals Part 2
Rather like a Carsini label claret, Pleasence is absolutely superb. Every line he delivers is an event in itself, and he’s the beneficiary of a truly vintage script that makes the most of his English accent and exceptional range. He exhibits charm, aloofness, surprise, fury and pomposity effortlessly over the course of the episode, giving the audience a fully-rounded character to root for.
And root for him they do. Despite his lack of remorse for the killing of his brother, Pleasence makes Carsini one of the most interesting, sympathetic and complex killers we ever see on Columbo. Love for the winery and the art of wine-making – something that he has devoted his life to – drives him to murder. In doing so, he’s protecting what he loves most from his villainous brother.
But back to that line delivery! What a show Pleasence puts on. Some personal faves come in the opening scenes where Adrian quarrels with Ric, calling him ‘remarkably gauche‘, an ‘adolescent imbecile‘ and a ‘muscle-bound hedonist‘ in quick succession. If you love words and highbrow put-downs, you can’t help but love Adrian Carsini.
All this aural pleasure culminates in Carsini’s explosion of rage in the restaurant near the conclusion of the episode, where he berates the luckless wine waiter for delivering a bottle of LIQUID FILTH. It’s a scene that belongs in the pantheons of TV greatness and you can view it in all its glory below.
How Carsini interacts with every character is a joy to behold, whether that be affability with his wine-loving cohorts to his cold indifference to long-time secretary Karen. Pleasence’s biggest success is in giving Carsini genuine depth. It’s as if he’s played the role for years, not just one episode.
Another strength of Any Old Port is the burgeoning relationship between the two leads. Naturally Adrian initially underestimates Columbo. Why not? He’s an outrageous snob, after all, and Columbo’s a comparative slob, a beer-drinker no less. But respect quickly follows as Columbo’s wine know-how increases.
The growing cordiality between Carsini and Columbo is a highlight of the episode
This cordiality is an aspect of the episode that nicely blossoms. Suspicion gives way to admiration on both sides and even if Columbo is up to his usual tricks to get his man, by the end of the episode we see genuine appreciation between the two. Theirs is a Columbo relationship like few others.
Falk takes something of a backseat to Pleasence but still has several moments to treasure. It’s such fun to see him interacting with the hipsters, for one. The opening of the scene, featuring couples rock and roll dancing in swimsuits, cracks me up every time.
The scene pitting the Lieutenant against the drunk in the bar is another enjoyable romp. A fed-up Columbo has to repeatedly shush his drinking partner as he listens to a news report about Ric’s death. The drunk eventually gives up, using one of Columbo’s famous lines against him: “I’m sorry that I bothered you.” Very nicely done.
Columbo, for once, is on the receiving end of a series of irritating interruptions
Any Old Port also gives us Columbo’s first use of the This Old Man theme, which he whistles while waiting for information on the telephone. It’s lovely to hear it in this episode before over-use in later series dulled its appeal.
Aside from our leading stars, Any Old Port‘s cast boasts typical strength in depth. Julie Harris convinces as plain Jane secretary Karen, all diligent and impassive until she senses the opportunity to get more from Adrian than ‘$700 per month and 2 weeks’ paid vacation’ per year. There’s no light in her heart, though. Even her act of providing an alibi for Adrian is cold and loveless.
“Pleasence’s biggest success is in giving Carsini genuine depth. It’s as if he’s played the role for years, not just one episode.”
Gary Conway’s Ric Carsini is on-screen for just a few minutes but he does enough to get the audience off-side, taunting Adrian and delivering the stinging put down that ultimately leads to his death: “I’m sure the Marino Brothers will let you lick the labels on their new carbonated rosé.” He knew how to hit big brother where it hurt, alright (and vice versa).
Any Old Port is also notable in that it marks the first appearance of one of Columbo’s most-loved regulars – Vito Scotti. The versatile character actor was a long-time friend of Falk’s and graced six episodes between 1973 and 1989. Always good value, Vito’s simpering Maitre d’ oozes humour.
Vito Scotti’s Columbo debut satisfies on every level
If it was just about the performances, Any Old Port would trounce almost all the opposition hands-down. That’s why I believe it rates so highly with fans. It’s a hoot to simply sit back and drink in (pun 1 jillion per cent intended). But I’m looking to cast a critical eye over proceedings here, and in doing so can’t help but highlight some shortcomings.
As with almost all the longer episodes, Any Old Port could have easily lost 15 minutes without harming the storytelling. A case in point? The real-time car manouevering, where Adrian first moves his Rolls Royce out of the garage, then moves Ric’s Ferrari in. You can’t tell me that would’ve been left in a 75-minute version. Several other scenes trundle along at a snail’s pace, and offer no pay-off or plot advancement. It’s mostly quality filler, but filler nonetheless.
“If it was just about the performances, Any Old Port would trounce almost all the opposition hands-down.”
There are several question marks regarding the crime, too. For one thing, Adrian leaves Ric alive, albeit unconscious, in his wine cellar as he jets off to New York. He’s taking an outrageous chance! Ric is a terrific athlete. Is it not conceivable that he could shake off a clash to the head and wriggle to freedom?
Adrian also switches off the air-con in the wine cellar as he leaves Ric. We must take it that the intention is to shut off the fresh air so that Ric will suffocate. But wait! The wine cellar is sufficiently large to have enough air in it to keep a man alive for an age. He’d die of dehydration first. So why flip the switch? It’s not a logical action.
It all adds up to the air conditioning switch-off being simply a convenient mechanism for the wine to become oxidised on the roasting hot day. Adrian would have been better off finishing Ric with another blow to the head in the cellar, just to be sure. Think about it: he loves his wines enough to kill for them. So why wouldn’t he finish the job to guarantee their survival? It’s a plot hole that would doom a lesser episode.
If Adrian had just killed Ric before flying to New York, he could still be merrily sitting amongst his wines to this day
I have problems with the restaurant scene, too. Not the performances, which are world-class, but the concept behind it. How could Adrian accept that a lowly-paid police officer could afford to pay for the meal at such a high-priced establishment? And that’s even before Columbo ‘orders’ the 1945 vintage Ferrier Port.
Adrian admits that the price of the bottle would be prohibitive. We must therefore assume it would cost, at a minimum, several hundred dollars at early 70s prices. Columbo could never afford this luxury, so Adrian should smell a rat.
I also query whether Columbo would choose to jeopardise the prestige of the restaurant the way he does. The commotion Adrian made would have caused some serious reputational damage, while making monkeys of innocent employees. That’s out of character for Columbo.
This scene only makes sense if the Lieutenant has had the full backing of his superiors, who have agreed to foot the bill in its entirety and fill the place with plain-clothed officers. Even for a guy with Columbo’s arrest record, that’s a helluva lot of trust (and taxpayers’ money).
“The restaurant scene only makes sense if the LAPD has agreed to foot the bill in its entirety and fill the place with plain-clothed officers.”
Finally I even have some quibbles with the clifftop encounter that seals Adrian’s fate. He’s evidently flinging the wine away to avoid it being used to incriminate him. But if he’s already decided he can’t let the blackmailing Karen into his life, then why would he? Remember, he loves his wine collection above all things. I can only attribute it it to the old Columbo adage that people do strange things when under duress.
Speaking of which, oughtn’t Carsini be more visibly emotional at the act of destroying his wines? As he lobs bottle after bottle off the cliff, it merely seems like it’s an inconvenience to have to do it rather than a personal tragedy, which it undoubtedly would have been. I’d have preferred to see tears coursing down his cheeks with every agonising hurl. Still, what it all leads to is the glorious finale in Columbo’s car – a scene so good that any faults with the episode can almost be forgotten.
So all in all Any Old Port in a Storm is compelling viewing and a barrel load of fun, but is by no means perfect. As Carsini says, a great label doesn’t always equate to a great wine. I feel the same about this episode. The slight imperfections, perhaps noticeable only to those invested enough to look for them, take the edge off what is for all intents and purposes one of TV’s greatest hits. The pity is that all these failings could have been effectively and succinctly addressed in the script.
So much of Any Old Port is great, exceptional even, but I never quite savour it as much as I hope to. Perhaps, ultimately, I’m too much like Carsini. And in this instance maybe that’s not such a good thing…
Did you know?
You’d think that being a murder victim in a wine-themed episode of Columbo might have put Gary Conway (Ric Carsini) off the grape for life – but not a bit of it! Gary and wife Marion actually own a vineyard of their own – the Carmody McKnight Estate in Paso Robles, California!
Regardless of whether the quality of the wine is Carsini-esque or more like the Marino Brothers, you just couldn’t make this up…
How I rate ’em
I can understand why Any Old Port is so revered by so many fans, but it wouldn’t do for us all to like the same things, would it? I certainly consider it amongst Columbo‘s top tier of episodes, but overall I admire rather than love it. Controversial? I hope not… Check out my other reviews using the links below!
- Suitable for Framing
- Double Shock
- Murder by the Book
- Death Lends a Hand
- A Stitch in Crime
- Lady in Waiting
- Any Old Port in a Storm
- Prescription: Murder
- The Most Crucial Game
- Etude in Black
- Greenhouse Jungle
- Requiem for a Falling Star
- Blueprint for Murder
- Ransom for a Dead Man
- Dead Weight
- The Most Dangerous Match
- Lovely but Lethal
- Short Fuse
- Dagger of the Mind
Am I being too hard on this televisual gem? Or will my insights cause you to throw your Any Old Port DVD over a cliff after seeing it in a new light? Let me know below.
As always, thanks so much for taking the time to visit the site. Next up on the episodic expedition is Candidate for Crime, so keep ’em peeled! For now, santé!
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Gotta run, I’m hosting a soiree with this gang shortly. See you soon!
I’ve been binge watching the series and I believe this is the first time we get to see Columbo’s actual desk at headquarters. Pretty cool.
Was hoping to get a list of the wines served at dinner, and why. I truly remember this episode from when I first saw it when it originally aired.
“Any Old Port” was on Cozi TV this afternoon, and one line caught my attention for an odd reason. On the curb outside the restaurant, after Columbo tells Carsini and Karen about the 109-degree day while both were in New York, he says: “Course, the first thing that I want is a cold beer. Took the stuff out of the ice box. The stuff is just warm as coffee.” “Ice box”? What a quaint, out-dated reference (as was Columbo later calling Oliver Brandt’s sophisticated stereo in “Sky High IQ” a “Victrola”). I looked at Stanley Ralph Ross’ original script of “Any Old Port.” The line Ross wrote was: “First thing I looked for was cold beer. It was warm as coffee.” No “ice box.” (I don’t have a copy of the “Sky High IQ” script, so I don’t know if “Victrola” was scripted or improvised.) Many from Peter Falk’s generation never discarded such quaint, out-dated product labels from their vocabulary. It’s quite in character with Columbo needing Sgt. Wilson to show him how any modern device works.
Cozi has been airing 90s Columbo on Saturdays and the 70s era on Sundays. I caught part of Mind Over Mayhem but I still can’t stand Robert Walker Jr. screaming his head off. So annoying and it hurt my ears. I did watch the next episode they aired which was Playback with Oskar Werner and the lovely Gena Rowlands. The tech at their house really was ahead of it’s time but Werner’s hubris still led to his downfall.
I have a different view of Robert Walker, Jr.’s performance in Mind Over Mayhem and what led to Oskar Werner’s character’s downfall in Playback.
Robert Walker, Jr.’s character was written to be a totally innocent and ethical young scientist who was trying to do his best while under his controlling father’s shadow. The story line called for José Ferrer’s character in the former episode to violate his son’s strong sense of ethics and for Columbo to falsely accuse the son of carrying on an affair with Jessica Tandy’s character and murdering her husband (played by Lou Ayres). If I were in the son’s shoes, I’d also by outraged and exceptionally angry for both things. To me, Robert Walker, Jr.’s performance was entirely credible under the circumstances facing his character.
As for Playback, I wouldn’t say that hubris led to Oskar Werner’s character’s downfall, except in the most general sense that all murderers in Columbo episodes have hubris because they believe their exceptional intelligence will enable them to escape detection and carry out perfect murders, which, as we all know, in Columbo’s world, “is just an illusion.” Rather, the story line called for Oskar’s character to commit a serious blunder, mistakenly leaving a clue behind that most detectives would miss or not even search for, except for the indomitable Columbo. And it was a blunder because the exhibit invitation was a vital part of the character’s alibi. The appropriate place for that invitation–before even committing the murder–was in his inside suit jacket pocket.
James, thanks for your comments! I really didn’t mind Walker but just didn’t like his yelling. I almost kept expecting him to vanquish Columbo to oblivion like he did others on Star Trek! As for Werner, yes he made a foolish mistake and it was awesome our fave one-eyed detective saw it. Kinda like seeing him spot the little feather in the hospital scene of Troubled Waters. It’s those little details the killers always miss that gets them busted!
Speaking of Playback, I’m surprised that Cozi didn’t edit the scene of Columbo getting a hamburger that led to him seeing Werner’s mistake. Cozi is very notorious of cutting out scenes of Columbo and it always drives me crazy!
Richard, those are some sound observations about Columbo’s use of quaint terms, such as “icebox” and “Victrola.” Although I can only venture a guess, I believe such touches–consistent with Columbo’s character–were added by Peter Falk, not the screenplay writers. If I’m correct, they weren’t necessarily improvised, but Peter simply added them to the scripts when he worked on them or during rehersals.
In an interview with Steve Bochco, one of the earliest Columbo writers, he said that one of the things that Richard Levinson and William Link advised him from the start was not to write out every detail of what the Columbo character did and to leave plenty of room for Peter Falk to develop the details of the performance. And this could include dialogue details. They told Steve that “Peter Falk WAS Columbo” and that if everything was scripted, the result would be something “over the top.”
We also know that Peter Falk was a dedicated method actor, and his approach would consequently involve working out every conceivable detail that was consistent with his own developed Columbo character. So, even if the script called for Columbo to say certain things, Peter would certainly have modified his dialogue to best fit the Columbo character that he envisioned.
I doubt it was that premeditated. However many debates there were over scripts in their preliminary stages, once a final script was approved, the shooting schedule didn’t allow for much on-the-set rewriting, and certainly not on peripheral words irrelevant to the plot. If you compare the written scripts to the actual episodes, there are plenty of inconsequential deviations. Falk never had to be letter perfect, and no one in charge would countenance a delay in production with needless retakes simply because he replaced a word or two. As you say, Falk was Columbo, meaning he always spoke in character. So I see this less as a rewrite than an on-the-spot approximation of the written line. Falk was using his vocabulary which was indistinguishable from Columbo’s.
Rich, that’s the beauty of a series like Columbo: it was set in their present but the characters all acted their age at the time, including the Lieutenant. I grew up in the 70s so I can easily relate to him using the word “icebox” as my parents did the same thing. Plus my granny loved talking about her old Victrola record player from the early 1900s! I especially love the scene at Michael Lally’s apartment in Now You See Him. He and Lally really bonded. Mike could have easily warmed up some Wolf brand chili for him. “That’s my hotplate!” 😀
Speaking of Victrolas, I never saw my granny’s but I have seen old relics and they are fascinating! Remember the big horn speaker? Even back then, our grandparents loved rocking out!
I’m not sure that Columbo’s (or rather Peter Falk’s) use of the word ‘ice box’ is all that remarkable, even if it was ad-libbed. I’m not even sure what your point is to be honest. ‘Ice box’ is not commonly used today but in the early 70s it obviously still had currency. Paul Hanlon, whom I don’t think many would describe as the ‘old-fashioned’ type, also uses the word ‘ice box’ when talking to Jimmy at the beginning of The Most Crucial Game. It seems to me that the use of ‘Ice box’ as a synonym for ‘fridge’ spanned several generations. Falk’s vocabulary may have been indistinguishable from Columbo’s but it was also pretty much indistinguishable from that of anyone over the age of 12 in 1974. I really don’t think that particular word choice reveals anything about Columbo, Peter Falk or his acting method.
I swore I heard Mike Lally say to Columbo to get a beer from the icebox when he visited him. I’m joking but Lally’s place did look quite cozy! Perfect for a down-and-out old magician past his prime. Too bad Santini didn’t drop by as well…hehe 😀
The big economic boom in America during the mid-1950s, along with concurrent technological and production advances, made mass-produced refrigerators affordable for most Americans. At the start of the Columbo series, Peter Falk–and, hence, Columbo–was in his early 40s. So, Columbo would have been in his 20s when the refrigerator became affordable. The term “icebox”, however, still continued to be used by many Americans, and that would include Peter Falk’s generation, but the use of that term gradually declined through the 1960s and 1970s. Notably, in the episode “It’s All in the Game” (the episode that Peter wrote and that co-starred Faye Dunaway and Claudia Christian), which hit TV screens in 1993, when Columbo was about 66 years old, a refrigerator was an important clue in the episode. But Columbo used the proper terms “refrigerator” or “fridge” several times.
Columbo was old school but the series was ahead of it’s time with regards to technology. Robbie the robot, Harold Van Wick’s residence, and Det. Lucerne’s video equipment to name a few. No wonder he found Jesse Jerome’s modern typewritter so fascinating!
True! Lots of cutting edge technology was featured in its day. I was watching Agenda for Murder the other day and enjoyed Columbo learning about the fax machine for the first time, which provided him with helpful information, confirming he was on the right track. Columbo inspires me with the life lesson of never being afraid to learn new things. The fact that technology has made many gadgets of the day obsolete doesn’t detract from my enjoyment. I simply look at the Columbo episodes as period pieces, the same way I enjoy a Philo Vance or Sherlock Holmes novel or film. Speaking of fax machines, here’s fun clip from Bullitt, which I also look at as a great period piece film. Columbo fans will recognize Robert Vaughn and Don Gordon, who were close friends of Steve McQueen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWPpzajkKes
Ah, the fax machine! I almost forgot about that one. I loved any time Columbo experienced something new to him. He acted like a kid getting a new toy. And I love Bullitt! Very badass for it’s time. Great cast and the lovely Jackie Bisset!
Btw, I love the hottie explaining the fax to Columbo in Agenda. She was still in shock about what happened but she was so calm and helpful, not to mention very beautiful. She made the perfect secretary.
Yesterday I saw an ODD COUPLE episode where Oscar mentions putting something in the “icebox” and of course he puts it in a big refrigerator. And that’s only one instance.
This is one of my favorite episodes, too. I love the opening shot of those raised wine glasses, with that glorious red shimmering in the light.
I loved Donald Pleasence’s acting. His rich, well-bred tones. And then, seeing him so overcome with rage at the thought of the Marino Brothers taking over that his throat tightens up and he can barely squeak out his words.
I also like the clue that Columbo picks up on (oddly not mentioned in the above review) where Columbo learned, firstly, that Carsini ALWAYS decanted his wines personally, it being a delicate procedure and he didn’t trust anyone else to do it properly, and then, secondly, that Carsini allowed his Texas friend to decant the bottle that had been left “breathing” in his office. (I imagine that Carsini deliberately left the bottle in the office, to provide an excuse for leaving the room and eavesdropping on his associates.)
However, the means of murder never made sense to me. There is no indication that the wine cellar (which, as Columbophile pointed out, was a fairly large room anyway) was AIRTIGHT. How would Ric suffocate? It seemed far likelier that he died when the room temperature soared to 150 degrees. (Not sure how that would show up on an autopsy, though.)
The relationship between Carsini and Karen was interesting. Near the end, where they were preparing for their “date”, Carsini dropped some hints that he was starting to see Karen as more than just a secretary. Of course, when he learned of the hold she had over him, the employer/employee barrier went back up with a loud clang.
I liked how Columbo got intrigued enough with the business of wine to take a crash course in it. How much of that was an attempt to find clues, and how much was a genuine interest in the subject that Carsini had devoted his whole life to?
The ending was sweet. I would like to think that one of Adrian Carsini’s friends (perhaps the Texan) outbid the Marino Brothers and kept Carsini’s legacy alive.
For me as a literature professor, the key to this episode is Edgar Allan Poe’s short story “The Cask of Amontillado.” Early on, Columbo mentions it to Carsini, who helps him with the pronunciation of the last word. It deals with a man whose family fortunes have gone into decline and his revenge against a man whom he believes has done him personal psychological injuries. He lures the man into his catacomb and murders him by walling him up—which is similar to what Carsini does to the brother who has been causing him psychic pain. The brief reference to the story establishes that both Carsini and Columbo know it. It might have given Carsini the idea to put his wounded and unconscious brother in the wine cellar to finish him off. Colombo’s reference to it reveals his early suspicion of Carsini’s guilt.
Yes, Edgar Allen Poe figures into “Any Old Port in a Storm” at several levels. In addition to the direct reference to “The Cask of Amontillado”, there are other tales that have inspired Columbo writers Larry Cohen and Stanley Ralph Ross, including Poe’s seminal stories that created the detective genre, such as “Murders in the Rue Morgue”, “The Mystery of Marie Rogêt”, and “The Purloined Letter”.
But there’s also “The Imp of the Perverse”, in which the murderer took pains to attempt to conceal his crime, and did so with success, but was, nonetheless, compelled by a perverse impulse to confess his crime publicly, leading to his conviction and execution.
“Any Old Port in a Storm” is one of the special Columbo episodes in which Columbo turns the murder’s profound skills and knowledge in his/her specialty against him. (Other prominent examples of this category are “Prescription: Murder”, “Double Exposure”, “Negative Reaction”, and “The Bye-Bye Sky High I.Q. Murder Case”.)
Although Columbo’s “tricks” in each of these episodes is masterfully executed, Columbo still must rely on triggering “The Imp of the Perverse” for the murderer to give himself away. When Columbo ordered the exceptionally rare 1945 vintage Ferrier Port, that should have triggered alarm bells for Adrian Carsini, rather than the imp of the perverse. Why did Columbo pick this particular wine and where did he even learn about it? How did the restaurant come by this particular wine? How did the restaurant come to subject the 1945 Ferrier Port to heat, oxidizing it and destroying its flavor? But Columbo’s special skills and misdirection included his ability to tap into the murderer’s emotions so strongly that he triggered what Poe called the imp of the perverse, such that the murderer’s special intellectual capabilities and talents were temporarily suspended.
Thanks, James, for augmenting my comment about “The Cask of Amontillado.” Yes, I’d guess that besides Cohen and Ross, Link and Levinson were quite familiar with Poe’s stories; I can imagine them pouring over these stories delightedly as teens as they began their writing careers. Poe remains a great trainer and inspiration for mystery writing!
Kathy, I’m certain that Link and Levinson read Poe’s works. They graduated from Cheltenham High (which was then adjacent to one of the homes I grew up in), and if Poe was required reading there in the 1960s, then it likely was too when they attended earlier. Levinson and Link received multiple awards for their writings, including four Edgar Allan Poe Awards from the Mystery Writers of America.
Long live Edgar Allan Poe! A true master of the macabre.
I can never what would happen if Adrian didn’t go ahead with the murder, and how a surviving Ric would react to the blow on the head.
There’s really nothing he could do to Adrian that would equal selling the land, so maybe he wouldn’t have him arrested, but it would be interesting to see what WOULD happen.
I don’t know if she’s the only one, but Shonna of the YouTube channel “Watch It For Days” points out that since Ric is bigger than Adrian and athletic, maybe there was a lot of physical type bullying when they were kids (even though Ric is the younger brother), which might explain that huge reaction from Adrian when Ric puts his hand on his face. If so, that blow on the head could put a real scare into a surviving Ric (whether or not it made any other kind of difference).
I am stunned you never mentioned the Great George Gaynes as the French Wine connoisseur who teaches Columbo about wine
For me, the plot hole you mentioned — Why does Carsini turn off the air conditioning? — is the biggest weakness. I also want to mention Gary Conway’s hair. What were they thinking in 1973?
There’s no plot hole IMO. Rick suffocated because Adrian turned off the air-conditioning. Just accept it as fact because that’s the tale we’re told and that’s what every character in the episode including Columbo himself believes. When you do that the plot flows beautifully like Ferrier vintage port at the best restaurant in town.
90 per cent of the time, I think that ANY hairstyle beats head-shaving!
(I mention that partly because right now, it’s trying to become kind of trendy for WOMEN. I don’t mind admitting that I’m a real “jerk” when it comes to hating THAT.)
Anyone tried to put on their own wetsuit? It’s tough. Imagine putting a wetsuit on a bloated dead body… impossible!
I am really enjoying reading the review & all the comments here after seeing this episode for the first time. While Adrian may be a “reluctant murderer” who only does it because his biggest love of his life (his wine business) is being taken away from him, I would like to point out that so far this is one of the most gruesome and heartless murders in Columbo.
He left his brother severely injured, tied up, suffocating in a hot room, starving with no water. The medical examiner said he hadn’t eaten in 2 days which presumably means it took 48 hours for him to die.
Yeah, Adrian is probably licking the labels of the Marino Bros carbonated rose in HELL for his sins but – as I’m sure you’re aware- Rick had to die slowly or Adrian’s New York alibi is worthless. Anyways, quick & painless deaths are probably overrated.
My gripe with this episode is the ending. Instead of that Montefiascone, Columbo should’ve uncorked that 5,000 dollar ‘bottle of history’ Carsini bought at the auction.
I hate to criticize it, but having the blow on the head actually kill Ric wouldn’t really change much of the episode (except that Adrian would have to go through the skin diving business before his trip not after). And it would make Adrian a sort of “Brimmer,” with an ACCIDENTAL killing to cover up.
The other change is that, although it would still look like an accident, Adrian would not have an alibi for the time of Ric’s death.
It has always been my conviction that Adrian doesn’t throw the bottles off the cliff to get rid of any evidence, as CP suggests. He does it because his treasure, his priceless and beloved wine collection, has turned to LIQUID FILTH because of the heat and he cannot bear it. The wine has lost everything that made it so dear to him, it’s done for, as he is himself, so it’s almost as if he’s giving the wine a form of euthanasia.
You may be right. But the bigger issue for me is whether we’re to believe that Columbo has to catch Carsini in the act of disposing the wine before he can arrest him. Columbo seems to have been counting on him disposing of the wine (just as he knew Tommy Brown would lead him to the hidden parachute) but since he knows exactly where the wine is I would think that he could obtain a warrant to open, maybe drink and then test Carsini’s wine to verify that it had indeed been oxidized. But it seems to be implied that Carsini’s fatal mistake here was tossing his wine collection into the Pacific (and that Columbo would’ve been willing to wait months or years for him to do that) and I’m not sure I buy that.
I suppose in this episode the confession is all that really matters. I hope Columbo hooked up Karen with one of his single cop buddies because without her I doubt he would’ve got that confession.
Faults with the episode duly noted, but the scene I didn’t like was Adrian wearing that god awful gaudy red-patterned tie! Putting a large bright – red carnation next to it only made him look even more ridiculous… almost like a clown.
If Julie Harris’ character, Eleanor, had survived at the end of The Haunting, I would imagine that she wouldn’t be too far removed from the drab secretary, Karen. A lonely spinster hoping to get a bald unemotional man, more interested in wine than her, and spends evenings in solitary, never going out, and watching ancient Alan Ladd Westerns on TV.
I would like to see this episode again, sampling the same wines (at the right temperature!) as the cast does to really get the “flavour” of it! Der… Don’t reckon I could afford it though. 🍷 🍷 🍷. Like Columbo, I better stick to beer. 🍻 Cheers….
I found your blog because I didn’t understand why the killer shut off his wine air conditioner/temperature control when he knew he was going to be gone for a week. Wouldn’t he have known that would destroy his precious wine? I was glad to see that you also considered that plot point a flaw. It was definitely a great episode otherwise. I needed your confirmation that there wasn’t some explanation I missed. Thank you!
He didn’t know it was going to be record heatwave at the time.
I think this is actually a central point to support Columbo’s theory because if the air conditioning system was working, and no one else had access to his locked vault, then Adrian, who loves his expensive wine more than anything else in the world, would never, ever turn off the air conditioning and endanger his wine except possibly for the purpose of murdering his brother.
One thing that puzzled me: could Adrian not have had his brother starve to death and die of thirst in his locked vault tied up WITH the air conditioning on?
Regardless, Columbo really didn’t have much of a case here.
There was no physical evidence tying Adrian to the murder, a good lawyer would have the secretary admit in court she lied because she wanted to protect Adrian and she would have to admit she had no knowledge that he was involved at all in his brother’s death.
Circumstantial evidence such as the wine going bad just fits in with Columbo’s theory. But that’s all it is – a theory that explains how the brother died. A good lawyer could invent all sorts of other theories.
For A.A.
James Feldman January 16, 2024 at 11:51 pm
Richard and AA, your thoughts are good ones, but I take issue with the characterization of Carsini as a nebbish. “Nebbish” comes from the Yiddish word, “nebekh,” which means “poor thing.” The word nebbish is typically used to describe someone who isn’t capable of accomplishing much or defending himself, so he often finds himself scorned or pitied. But that’s not how Donald Pleasance depicted the Carsini character. I don’t think that anyone in Adrian’s circle thought of him that way, including his brother Ric. Rather, mild-mannered, serious, and even demure come to my mind as descriptions of Adrian’s personality. But the other descriptions, especially as reflected in Columbo’s personality, are dead-center on target. In fact, when Carsini does explode (which I’d expect happens rarely, but happens twice in this episode–to move the story forward), he shows another side that bears similarities to Columbo’s personality.
All I know is, no one could play a Jekyll and Hyde better than Donald Pleasence.
In a comedy-drama called ARTHUR? ARTHUR! he plays a “nebbish” who has an alter-ego, a deliberate one as opposed to a Mr. Hyde. (Oddly enough, in that story a woman blackmails him into marriage too!)
And in his OUTER LIMITS episode “The Man With The Power,” he plays a “Carrie” type character whose mind gets even with people right and left without him believing it.
And I guess there are several others.
James, thank you for reprinting your post! It was getting harder to read and reply. And thanks for the correct definition for the word “nebbish”. I always thought it meant a meek or mild person, which I found Carsini to be. I guess it’s just another reason why I didn’t really like this episode but as Grant just pointed out, Donald Pleasance was a true Jekyll and Hyde! I really felt sorry for his character’s demise in Fantastic Voyage even tho he was a villian. To be eaten alive by white blood cells was horrifying!
Thank you for explaining the plot of “Any old Port”! I watchied it recently on daytime TV & thought the plot was weak & was pleased to find your synopsis, which only confirmed my misgivings; I thought I’d missed something!
Yes, the performances were great as expected of such a distinguished cast but to trap the murderer by presenting a bottle from his own cellar that had been ruined was too much! As you rightly point out, it would have made more sense to finish his brother off rather than leave it to chance that he would suffocate in cavernous wine cellar! I’ve enjoyed many Columbo episodes but can’t say this was a favourite.
I like the restaurant scene, but one thing bothers me.
Even though you don’t watch COLUMBO for gritty realism, the idea of a detective taking someone to a fancy restaurant to apologize for SUSPECTING them (and not even out loud) could seem like a bit much.
(Maybe not with someone like Hassan Salah, since Columbo infuriated a lot of important people by suspecting HIM, but with almost anyone else…. )
But like almost everyone else, I don’t let things like that interfere with the episode for me.
It need not be a credible explanation from a viewer’s perspective, as that was not Columbo’s true purpose. His true purpose was to create a guileless atmosphere in which an unsuspecting Carsini could appraise his own Ferrier Vintage Port. The only person who had to buy the “apologize for suspecting you” gambit was Carsini — and he was just the sort of effete snob to do so.
In the episode it is obvious Carsini prides himself in being the best at what he does, and he understands Columbo is a brilliant detective. It makes sense that in addition to wanting to be “man of the year” so much, he would enjoy a dinner celebrating him defeating the great detective. He would enjoy relishing in the fact that he out-played another master.
There might not be hard evidence, but Adrian was cornered enough that he is ready to confess – why? Because he’s the least killer of all killers in the entire show. When you think of it, most killers did it for financial gain, or to be freed from a blackmailing party, but in this case its his pure love to wine and wine-producing land that drives him to kill. He also didn’t plan to kill, it was rage in the moment just like in Death Lends a Hand.
One would seriously think that the only episode of Columbo to actually be shown was “Any Old Port In A Storm.” That is the ONLY episode ever mentioned in any email I’ve received from the Columbophile Blog.
There were, what, 100 other *excellent* episodes, weren’t there? Yet 100 emails out of 100 on “Any Old Port In A Storm” . . . there’s got to be something wrong with the algorithm.
This happens with every kind of entertainment, and if it means anything it’s a pet peeve that I have about every kind. People take the most famous episode of a show or whatever, and it gets almost all the attention.
You raise any interesting question that CP is probably in the best position to answer: Which, say, 10 episodes have garnered the most posts, ranked from most to least?
But I just did a quick “test.” On my last check by selective sampling, I’ve discovered that “Any Old Port in a Storm” had 411 posts on my last count. That does, in fact, appear to be the most commented on Columbo episode. (Note: I haven’t check the post counts on every episode and I’m using only CP’s original reviews as the basis; although in a formal test all related articles should also be included, such as revisit reviews, reviews by other authors, 5 top scenes, etc.)
“Columbo Goes To College” has 355 posts and “Try and Catch Me” has 352 posts. “An Exercise in Fatality” has 339 posts. And “Negative Reaction” has 327 posts.
And comparing episodes at extremes of popularity, “A Friend in Deed” has 242 posts, while “Murder in Malibu” has 188 posts. “Undercover” has 106 posts.
In other words, the quantity of posts for a particular episode does seem to make sense from my perspective. Popular and favorite episodes are going to receive more posts than less popular ones. And those with more controversial aspects are also going to receive more posts than less controversial ones, “good” or “bad.” Of course, other readers may have a different take on what drives the number of posts. That’s the nature of things and that’s what makes this blog a lively one.
In the case of “Any Old Port in a Storm” in particular, it’s my guess that the high number of posts stems from the confluence of several deeply held but often contradictory opinions about the episode: (1) the great fondness many viewers have for the Falk-Pleasance on-screen relationship; (2) the debate over whether Adrian Carsini is a sympathetic killer (a debate that pits the scene where Carsini initially assaults his brother against the manner in which he actually kills him); and (3) the relative importance viewers ascribe to the dubious realism of many aspects of the story. In other words, this episode has generated a lot of controversy while, at the same time, remained beloved by so many (including Peter Falk) — a sure-fire recipe for enumerable blog posts.
It’s a no brainer why this one seems to be the most popular, even though not necessarily the best – apart from Prescription: Murder, this one really seems like a movie compared to TV series vibe of the rest of the episode. The scenography is different, it has that “Godfather” touch with the country estate, directing is also more “epic” and more in the line of a cinema movie than a series. Almost, something like Hitchcock would made. And of course, Donald Pleasance is acting perfectly, just on the border without being over the top. At the time of the episode, Falk also mastered his character, and he wasn’t even acting, he WAS Columbo. It’s not even my favorite episode, but I can understand all the attention it gets.
Nikola, my sentiments exactly! I don’t hate this episode but it’s not one I go looking for either. The storyline just didn’t really appeal to me. Pleasance was good but he was no Culp or Cassidy!
But the difference between Pleasance and Cassidy or Culp is central to the charm of the episode. Cassidy and Culp play despicable villains. They ooze smarm and contempt for Columbo. Pleasance’s Carsini is a nebish. He likes Columbo: both are little guys, socially awkward, and perfectionists in their fields. And Carsini respects the fact that Columbo is trying his best to learn about the only thing Carsini cares about. In fact, some of the best Columbo villains have genuine respect for Columbo: e.g., Ray Flemming, Col. Lyle Rumford, Oliver Brandt, Abigail Mitchell. Cassidy and Culp never do. They always treat Columbo like he’s an idiot.
Rich, as always you make wonderful counterpoints! And your description of Pleasance as a nebish is perfect. I can see why so many felt sympathy for him. It’s too bad he didn’t make another appearance in the series. I’m also running outta room here!
Richard and AA, your thoughs are good ones, but I take issue with the characterization of Carsini as a nebbish. “Nebbish” comes from the Yiddish word, “nebekh,” which means “poor thing.” The word nebbish is typically used to describe someone who isn’t capable of accomplishing much or defending himself, so he often finds himself scorned or pitied. But that’s not how Donald Pleasance depicted the Carsini character. I don’t think that anyone in Adrian’s circle thought of him that way, including his brother Ric. Rather, mild-mannered, serious, and even demure come to my mind as descriptions of Adrian’s personality. But the other descriptions, especially as reflected in Columbo’s personality, are dead-center on target. In fact, when Carsini does explode (which I’d expect happens rarely, but happens twice in this episode–to move the story forward), he shows another side that bears similarities to Columbo’s personality.
James, please reprint your last post!
Just watched this twice and though I agree it’s very entertaining, I don’t understand how there is enough evidence to convict Adrian and get him to agree to confess. Of course there is enough evidence (the spotless car with the top down and a corpse that hadn’t eaten for 2 days prior to its supposed time of death) to conclude the brother was murdered, but aside from motive, what would prove to a jury that Adrian did it? The wine going bad because of the cellar not having air conditioning on a severely hot day isn’t much of a smoking gun.
Brown outs are common on really hot days, which would cause the AC to not work. The authorities would have to establish that other electrical devices at office continued to work on the hot day to conclude that someone shut it off -still not enough to pin a murder charge. It was foolish of Adrian to be so quick to admit defeat. If he married the secretary and hired a good lawyer, I think he would be acquitted -hung jury at worst.
I hate to say it because I don’t hate Karen, but Adrian could marry her but also arrange an “accident” for her, the kind Ray Flemming mentions when it comes to Joan Hudson. Maybe not very soon, but eventually.
So the moment the Lt. has it all wrapped up is when the other winemakers tell him that Adrian let one of them decant the wine. Columbo has the best detective facial expression, it tells all. To those that don’t adore this episode, I urge a rewatch just to see Pleasance scream “Mouthwash!” When good actors get animated, it’s a good thing. His demeanor is so opposite this scene throughout the episode, but right from the outset we see where his passion takes him. TV at its finest. Also I hope Falk came up with the line “Three times… His feet were plenty warm”. The Lt. is extra funny throughout this episode, including silencing the other guy at the bar. Don’t see these kinds of gems on TV or streaming or anywhere these days.
Actually, I think Columbo had it before that scene. It was when he learned of Ric’s empty stomach. This, together with the evidence of his immaculate car, placed the murder (not the death, but the attack that caused the death) before Adrian’s alibi. And what is Columbo’s instant reaction to this news? He immediately revisits Adrian’s nonsensical (and inherently suspicious) explanation that Ric’s convertible roof must have blown open.
Ric’s fiancée and friend then confirm Columbo’s suspicions (“I thought you’d say that.”) In fact, Columbo only interviews the winemakers because he’s already focused his suspicions squarely on Adrian.
There were all sorts of little Columbo details that I liked in this episode. His reliance on his notebook. The softness in his face when he is on the phone to his wife, and the little family details – finding a babysitter, the story about his father and grandfather, and so on.