Columbo micro-story competition launched – will you publish or perish?

It’s time to dust off the vintage typewriter and channel your inner Jim Ferris/Abigail Mitchell in a new Columbo writing competition organised by the good people behind the popular ColumboTV Facebook group.

The ‘Publish or Perish’ contest allows fans to try their hand at crafting a mini adventure in the Columbo universe, but be warned – you’ll need to be very succinct with a maximum word count of just 200 words!

The rules are, however, simple and the scope broad enough to allow your creative juices to flow in a million different directions. You could pen a gotcha moment, or a stand-alone Columbo scene. You could reimagine a classic encounter, or put yourself in the mind of a killer to show us what they’re thinking when they pull the proverbial trigger, or are busted by the wily Lieutenant. It’s a blank canvas.

The only ‘rules’ to follow are these:-

• Entries must be obviously Columbo related
• Must be family friendly in keeping with the show
• Maximum word count of 200 (excluding title)
• Entries must be in English (sorry global fan base, but will make for a level playing field for judging)
• All entries to be posted to the ColumboTV Facebook group no later than midnight on 16 December 2018
• Multiple entries will be accepted – but not just multiple 200-word chunks of the same story (you rascals!)

The 200-word limit will absolutely tax the best of us (says the chap who routinely writes 4000+word episode reviews), but there are so many possibilities for moments and scenarios that could be explored that I, for one, believe it’s an intriguing and accessible challenge.

Indeed, to show you that it can be done here’s a small effort I just cooked up, which weighs in at 199 words, and which reveals for the very first time how Sergeant Wilson was paired up with Columbo in Greenhouse Jungle…

Wilson’s date with destiny

“Wilson, come in here!” Captain Ritchie called out across the busy office.

The young detective looked up eagerly and bounded across to his Captain’s office. Fresh from two years at Advanced Police School in Berkeley, Wilson was itching for a chance to prove his worth.

“Interesting case I’d like you to look into,” Ritchie said when the two men were seated. “Two schoolkids just found a smashed up Jag at the bottom of a canyon – and there’s a bullet hole in the driver’s side window. No sign of a body, but something ain’t right. I want you there on the double.”

“Oh yes, sir, I’ll get right on it, sir,” trilled Wilson. “Who’s the officer in charge at the scene?”

“You’ll be working with Lieutenant Columbo on this one. He’s on his way. You won’t be able to miss him,” Ritchie added with a smile. “He tends to work alone, but he can benefit from some of these new techniques you’ve been learning.”

Wilson nodded and stood to leave.

“You can learn from him, too,” Richie concluded. “Columbo’s a good man and his arrest record is terrific. He’s fast becoming a legend in the department.”

So you see, it really can be done! And I’m secretly pretty pleased with that…

‘It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times!?’ You stupid monkey…

The contest is the brainchild of ColumboTV Group admin ace Ian Baxter, a long-time Columbo fan and regular participant in the monthly #ColumboTV livetweet events, who hopes the idea will encourage fans to channel their appreciation of the show in inventive ways.

“We’d love as many as possible to have a go and enjoy it,” explained Ian. “Above all we hope it will be a creative and enjoyable celebration of Columbo as part of the 50th anniversary year.” That’s a sentiment I, for one, can certainly buy into.

The ColumboTV Facebook Group is a closed group, but always open to welcoming more fans of the show to swell its ranks of nearly 2500 active members. Head over to the page here to get amongst it! And if you’d like to enter but Facebook ain’t your bag, get in touch with me via email and we’ll find a way of getting you involved.

I’m so excited by the idea that I’ve agreed to be amongst the judges for the competition. A selection of the best entries will appear on this very blog in the new year, which should represent an absolute treat for Columbo fans everywhere, and also ensure excellent exposure for those who excel with the written word.

And what about a prize? It’s good news on that front! The winning writer will  secure a lucrative contract to write ‘anthropology’ novels for Greenleaf Publications. Oh, and this very stylish Greenleaf Publications bag will also wing its way to the winner so they can proudly show their association with the greatest publishing house in US history! Hopefully that’s incentive enough to encourage a few of you to put pen to paper.

I’m going to write a few more entries myself. I’ve got a story to share about a Candidate for the United States Senate who shot his campaign manager to make it look like an attempt on his own life. It’s a heck of a story. Got a pencil I can borrow…?

This competition is dedicated to the memory of Jim Ferris…