5 best moments from Columbo Short Fuse

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Short Fuse was the episode Columbo‘s first season didn’t need. Rushed through to satisfy the demands of the studio, it rather wasted an excellent premise with a half-baked plot that was, at times, tricky to unravel.

But as I’ve said time and again, even weaker Columbo episodes have much to recommend them and enough memorable moments to reward the keen viewer. With that in mind, my top 5 highlights from Short Fuse are chronicled below.

5. Don’t call me Junior!

Columbo Short Fuse Roger Stanford

After bumping off his company-running Uncle, Roger has finally got what he wants: full control of the family chemical empire, and all that comes with it – namely a HUGE OFFICE, with a desk the size of a football pitch.

Keen to show everyone who’s boss, the former office prankster demands that staff who used to affectionately call him ‘Junior’ now respect his authoritah by deferentially referring to him as Mr Stanford. The joke’s on Roger, though. As he pretends to be busy reading papers at his desk, we can see that this is a dreadful result, both for him and the company.

If someone doesn’t put a stop to it, bored Roger will doubtless run the company into the ground within months. Thank goodness, then, that Columbo puts everyone out of their misery shortly afterwards.

4. The ‘silly string incident’ of 1972

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While snooping around Roger’s workshop / darkroom, Columbo encounters a mystery aerosol can that piques his interest. And even though he’s at a potentially deadly chemical plant, the curious Lieutenant thinks nothing of pointing the nozzle at his own face and giving a good squeeze.

We don’t immediately see what happens, but when Roger finds the shambling Lieutenant some moments later, he roars with laughter as the sneaky detective has managed to cover his hair with bright pink silly string.

It’s a cute scene, and Roddy’s genuine reaction of mirth makes it a great moment.

3. Take nothing less than second best

Columbo Short Fuse

Columbo’s first meeting with Roger (and Aunt Doris, played by Ida Lupino) features a rib-tickling exchange which is one of the most delightful of the whole of Season 1.

“Well, my wife, she says I’m second best but, uh, she claims there are 80 fellas tied for first.”

Doris seems sceptical about Columbo’s credentials upon meeting him, after being assured that the LAPD had sent their ‘best man’ to investigate the disappearance of Uncle D. Cue a beautiful response from the Lieutenant: “Well, my wife, she says I’m second best but, uh, she claims there are 80 fellas tied for first.” Cute!

2. Curtains for Uncle David

Fuse montage

After tiring of what he considers his Uncle’s rough and dismissive treatment of him, Roger gets even as well as getting mad. Using his extraordinary brain power for EVIL, he rigs a bomb in a cigar case and deftly manipulates matters to ensure the booby-trapped box will be opened as Uncle D’s car traverses a twisty mountain road. BOOM! So long Uncle! KER-BLAM! See you later, sinister chauffeur Quincy!

“Roger establishes his alibi by necking with company secretary Betty Bishop at a discotheque, like a pair of teenagers in love.”

The ludicrous premise somehow works on screen due to its exciting presentation. In a scene reminiscent of a Hammer Horror film, Uncle D and Quincy battle sky-splitting lightning and driving rain as the car creeps up the mountain pass to explosive oblivion.

Roger, meanwhile, is establishing his alibi by necking with company secretary Betty Bishop at a discotheque, like a pair of teenagers in love. This is unashamedly played out against a funky little Gil Melle jazz number, the canoodling action being intercut at one stage with a female Star Trek reject frenetically cage dancing. Ahhhh, the 70s…

1. The cliff-hanging conclusion

Columbo Short Fuse gotcha

Short Fuse is far from being a top-shelf Columbo episode, but its tense finale at least rounds things out in memorable fashion.

The wily Lieutenant finds a way to unravel the mystery via a splendid set-piece in the claustrophobic confines of a mountain cable car, with Roger and just-sacked company Vice Pesident Everett Logan his companions.

Pretending that the rigged, explosive cigar box has been found unopened at the crash site, a jovial Lieutenant cracks it open to divvy out the goodies. Roger, who’s been slowly losing his cool since the box was revealed, now blows his top completely. He believes the box will explode in 60 seconds, catapulting them into fiery oblivion.

As the time ticks down, Roger starts bellowing at the Lieutenant and striding round the cable car like a man possessed. At the last moment he flings open the cable car doors and makes a grab for the box, scattering cigars all over the floor as he scrabbles desperately for the rigged one. When there is no kaboom, Roger finally realises he’s been had.

“Short Fuse is far from being a top-shelf Columbo episode, but its tense finale at least rounds things out in memorable fashion.”

Regular readers of this blog may remember that I referenced Roddy’s wardrobe (notably the skintight blue trousers) as the episode highlight in my full-length review. I was, of course, being facetious!

Still, I’d be delighted to hear your own personal highlights, so please shoot me a comment below! And thanks a million for visiting!

columbo short fuse pants

“Maybe you can help me. I’m having a hard time figuring out which of you is the worst dressed…”

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