Episode Guide / Opinion / Season 3

Episode review: Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm

Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm opening titles

Columbo was in exulted company on 7 October 1973, as the second episode of Season 3 pitted him against his most highbrow opponent yet: wine connoisseur Adrian Carsini.

It’s a true fans’ favourite, but under critical analysis is Any Old Port in a Storm truly a vintage episode, or is it comparative swill? To put it another way, is it a Ferrier Port, or a Marino Brothers carbonated rosé? I can’t wait to find out…

Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm cast

Dramatis personae

Lieutenant Columbo: Peter Falk
Adrian Carsini: Donald Pleasence
Ric Carsini: Gary Conway
Karen Fielding: Julie Harris
Joan Stacey: Joyce Jillson
Maitre D‘: Vito Scotti
Billy Fine: Robert Walden
Directed by: Leo Penn
Written by: Stanley Ross and Larry Cohen
Score by: Dick De Benedictis

Episode synopsis: Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm

Winemaker extraordinaire Adrian Carsini is hosting an intimate Sunday shindig at the family winery for three highbrow cohorts. After some pleasantries, Adrian ducks out to fetch a bottle of fine claret from his office. Ear-wigging in via intercom, he overhears his fellow connoisseurs confirming that they’re about to name Carsini as the Wine Society’s ‘Man of the Year’.

The wind is taken out of his sails, however, when he’s confronted in his office by hedonistic half-brother Ric. Polar opposites in every way, Ric is sick of Adrian’s pursuit of wine perfection over financial gain. He’s come to Adrian seeking a $5000 loan so he can jet to Acapulco to get married for the fourth time.

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There’s no love lost between the Carsini kids…

Adrian is unimpressed and the two trade barbs before Ric slips in the sucker punch: he’s planning to sell the land the winery is built on to mass-market wine producers, the Marino Brothers!

Adrian is livid! The prospect of losing the one thing that has meaning for him stings him into action. He snatches up a heavy object and smashes Ric over the head. Ric is out cold, but alive. Showing remarkable composure, Adrian gathers the claret and heads back to his guests.

He receives another surprise, though, as officious secretary Karen Fielding is outside his office prepping for the pair’s looming wine-buying trip to New York. She’s seen Ric’s car outside, but before she can ask too many questions Adrian shoos her off home to pack some ‘splendid gowns’ for the trip. He then finally returns to his guests who ‘surprise’ him with news of his impending accolade.

“Adrian and co are soon chilling in the cabin of the airliner as a comely hostess delights onlookers with a fine performance on an electric piano.”

The happy quartet then engage in the most mean-spirited toast in televisual history, as Adrian says: “May our enemies never be as happy as we are at this moment.” Ummmm, cheers…?

After all this frivolity, Adrian has to deal with the aftermath of his spat with Ric. And by ‘aftermath’ I mean dragging Ric’s beefcake body to the wine cellar and trussing him up like a spring chicken. Switching off the air conditioning unit that regulates the temperature of the precious wines, Adrian leaves Ric to his fate.

The next thing we see is Adrian, Karen and co chilling in the cabin of the airliner as a comely hostess delights onlookers with a fine performance on an electric piano. It’s first-class travel 70s style, and is utterly fabulous.

To prove to Karen how pally he and Ric are, Adrian asks her to send a cheque for $5000 to the newlyweds in Acapulco – a sum Adrian promptly spends on a single bottle of wine for himself at one of the auctions. His justification? “No one really needs a $5000 bottle of wine, Karen. I just don’t want anybody else to have it.” We’ve all been there, ammirite?

Back in LA, meanwhile, the should-be Mrs Ric Carsini is worried. Her fiancé never arrived in Acapulco and there’s no sign of him here either. She tries to report him to missing persons, but the department is empty. Instead she finds Lieutenant Columbo, who promises to do what he can.

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Congratulations, it’s a… $5000 bottle of wine!

Some days later, Adrian is back home and ready to complete his cunning plan. Somehow squeezing Ric’s bloated corpse into a wetsuit and then into the Ferrari, Adrian drives out to a remote cliffside location and tips Ric’s body into the ocean. He then cycles back to the winery on a silly little fold-up bike.

It’s not long before the body is found. It looks like a diving accident, where Ric’s dashed his swede underwater and passed out before running out of air. Columbo is amongst the crime scene investigators and when the body is identified as Ric Carsini, he remembers it’s the missing person the mystery blonde reported to him some days ago.

Heading out to the lakeside club where Ms Stacey hangs out with her cool cat pals, the Lieutenant delivers the bad news. The hipsters receives it surprisingly well – even furnishing Columbo with useful background info that Ric and half-brother Adrian didn’t get on and that Ric was planning to sell the winery. It’s reason enough for Columbo to immediately suspect Adrian of foul play.

columbo hipsters any old port in a storm

Fashion Goals Part 1

The case throws up its usual puzzles for Columbo. Medical examiners reveal that Ric hadn’t eaten for 2 days before his death. For a guy with such a healthy appetite this seems odd. Also suspicious is that Ric’s treasured Ferrari 330 GTS seems to have been left with its top down on a rainy day (Columbo checked with the weather bureau to find out) – and there’s not so much as a watermark on the paintwork. How can that be?

Columbo gathers a good amount of circumstantial evidence, but with Adrian known to have been on the East Coast on the presumed day of Rick’s death, his chances of securing an arrest seem slim. Even a nosy around Adrian’s wine cellar appears to lead to a dead end. Columbo is desperate to find out whether someone could be locked in the cellar and suffocate, but he discovers that getting out from within is child’s play as the door can’t be locked from the outside.

He does find out something useful, though. The air conditioner for the cellar is vital in keeping the wine at the right temperature and humidity. Without it, very hot days could cause the wine to reach high temperatures and spoil.

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No known reason for Carsini’s tie design is known to science

Columbo’s policeman’s nose tells him that Carsini is his man. But a visit to see Karen at her home seems to put paid to that. She confirms that on the day of hers and Adrian’s trip to New York, she saw Ric both arrive and leave the winery. If that’s true, Adrian is definitely innocent. To apologise for suspecting Adrian, Columbo offers to take both he and Karen to dinner the next evening.

The three meet at one of LA’s most exclusive eateries, although Adrian is initially disgusted that Columbo has been seated near the kitchen. His temper turns to delight, though, as he finds the Lieutenant to have swiftly honed his wine appreciation skills to perfectly select wines to match their meals.

The best is saved till last as Columbo summons the sommelier to order a bottle of 1945 vintage Ferrier Port – one of the finest ports known to man. Adrian is giddy with joy at the prospect of rounding out a fine dining experience with such a venerated drop.

“An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this… LIQUID FILTH!”

His smile soon dies on his lips, however. Although Columbo and Karen near swoon with how good the port it is, Adrian’s superior palate identifies a problem. “This…is…dreadful,” he softly fumes to the sommelier. “Don’t you realise that a great wine is like a great work of art? Such disdain cannot and will not be tolerated!”

Adrian can tell that the wine has been exposed to temperatures in excess of 150 degrees, oxidising and spoiling it. His rage at this poor treatment cannot be masked: “Is there something wrong? Everything is wrong,” he bellows to the Maitre d’. “An exciting meal has been ruined by the presence of this… LIQUID FILTH!”

The flustered Maitre d’ insists that they don’t pay for the meal as Adrian storms off in Timmy temper. Columbo catches his guests outside, and Adrian reiterates that the wine was definitely bad due to overheating.

This reminds Columbo of the super-hot day LA experienced when Carsini was away in New York, and how the Columbo family fridge packed in leaving him with only warm beer to drink. That day had seen the mercury hit 109 degrees in the shade, which means that indoors without air conditioning the temperatures were even higher. He then thanks Karen again for confirming that she’d seen Ric drive away on the fateful Sunday, and bids the couple farewell.

Adrian is most displeased to hear that Karen has lied for him. On the drive home, he expresses his resentment that she now has a hold over him. In response Karen tells him that she wants to be more than an employee: she wants to become Mrs Carsini! Stunned, Adrian tells her they’ll talk about it in the morning and leaves her without a backwards glance.

Any Old Port in a storm carsini and karen

The spin-off series At Home with the Carsinis was a short-lived, humourless affair

We next find him in his cellar filling baskets with wines, which he drives to a clifftop to fling into the churning Pacific. When returning to his car he finds Lieutenant Columbo lying in wait.

“They were all spoiled, weren’t they?” the detective asks. Adrian spins a yarn that he’s just getting rid of some inferior wines but Columbo doesn’t buy it. He’s learnt his stuff, and recognises that the bottles Adrian is discarding represent a great personal and financial sacrifice.

“Adrian’s one of the few men in the world with a palate delicate enough to have discerned that the wine had been overheated. His own ego does him in.”

Columbo then reveals all: on the day Adrian left him in the wine cellar to try and find a way out, the Lieutenant had pocketed a bottle from Adrian’s collection. That bottle was the very same Ferrier Port they drank in the restaurant, and that Adrian had himself identified as having been subjected to a temperature of more than 150 degrees.

The irony isn’t lost on Adrian. He’s one of the few men in the world with a palate delicate enough to have discerned that the wine had been overheated. His own excellence and ego have done him in.

A resigned Adrian gives himself up. He’ll be glad to confess to a crime he feels no remorse for. Besides, what’s his other option? A loveless marriage to Karen? Hardly. “I suppose freedom is purely relative,” he sighs as Columbo leads him to his battered Peugeot to be driven downtown.

There’s time for one last stop off at the winery, though. Cutting off the engine, Columbo produces a bottle of Montefiascone dessert wine and two glasses. The men drink a toast before we see Adrian drain a glass at a gulp and clutch the bottle to his chest as credits roll…

Any Old Port‘s best moment: the bittersweet farewell

Adrian Carsini

The final scene – a mutually respectful exchange in Columbo’s car as he drives Adrian away from his winery to a life behind bars – is a beautiful thing. Two perfectionists, from completely different sides of the tracks, have found a genuine understanding and appreciation of the other. It’s the sort of TV moment that almost doesn’t exist any more and is all the more poignant because of it.

And you know what that means, don’t you? Yes, it’s an even better scene than LIQUID FILTH and easily one of the best ever Columbo moments.

My views on Any Old Port in a Storm

From its opening moments, where our gracious host references Titian, Any Old Port in a Storm has a lexicon and style all of its own.

Regular readers of this blog may be aware that Any Old Port leads the way in the fans’ favourite episode poll by a mile (see the top 10 here). Donald Pleasence’s performance as Adrian Carsini is a huge part of why this episode has captured fans’ imaginations for decades.

Columbo fashion carsini

Fashion Goals Part 2

Rather like a Carsini label claret, Pleasence is absolutely superb. Every line he delivers is an event in itself, and he’s the beneficiary of a truly vintage script that makes the most of his English accent and exceptional range. He exhibits charm, aloofness, surprise, fury and pomposity effortlessly over the course of the episode, giving the audience a fully-rounded character to root for.

And root for him they do. Despite his lack of remorse for the killing of his brother, Pleasence makes Carsini one of the most interesting, sympathetic and complex killers we ever see on Columbo. Love for the winery and the art of wine-making – something that he has devoted his life to – drives him to murder. In doing so, he’s protecting what he loves most from his villainous brother.

But back to that line delivery! What a show Pleasence puts on. Some personal faves come in the opening scenes where Adrian quarrels with Ric, calling him ‘remarkably gauche‘, an ‘adolescent imbecile‘ and a ‘muscle-bound hedonist‘ in quick succession. If you love words and highbrow put-downs, you can’t help but love Adrian Carsini.

All this aural pleasure culminates in Carsini’s explosion of rage in the restaurant near the conclusion of the episode, where he berates the luckless wine waiter for delivering a bottle of LIQUID FILTH. It’s a scene that belongs in the pantheons of TV greatness and you can view it in all its glory below.

How Carsini interacts with every character is a joy to behold, whether that be affability with his wine-loving cohorts to his cold indifference to long-time secretary Karen. Pleasence’s biggest success is in giving Carsini genuine depth. It’s as if he’s played the role for years, not just one episode.

Another strength of Any Old Port is the burgeoning relationship between the two leads. Naturally Adrian initially underestimates Columbo. Why not? He’s an outrageous snob, after all, and Columbo’s a comparative slob, a beer-drinker no less. But respect quickly follows as Columbo’s wine know-how increases.

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The growing cordiality between Carsini and Columbo is a highlight of the episode

This cordiality is an aspect of the episode that nicely blossoms. Suspicion gives way to admiration on both sides and even if Columbo is up to his usual tricks to get his man, by the end of the episode we see genuine appreciation between the two. Theirs is a Columbo relationship like few others.

Falk takes something of a backseat to Pleasence but still has several moments to treasure. It’s such fun to see him interacting with the hipsters, for one. The opening of the scene, featuring couples rock and roll dancing in swimsuits, cracks me up every time.

The scene pitting the Lieutenant against the drunk in the bar is another enjoyable romp. A fed-up Columbo has to repeatedly shush his drinking partner as he listens to a news report about Ric’s death. The drunk eventually gives up, using one of Columbo’s famous lines against him: “I’m sorry that I bothered you.” Very nicely done.

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Columbo, for once, is on the receiving end of a series of irritating interruptions

Any Old Port also gives us Columbo’s first use of the This Old Man theme, which he whistles while waiting for information on the telephone. It’s lovely to hear it in this episode before over-use in later series dulled its appeal.

Aside from our leading stars, Any Old Port‘s cast boasts typical strength in depth. Julie Harris convinces as plain Jane secretary Karen, all diligent and impassive until she senses the opportunity to get more from Adrian than ‘$700 per month and 2 weeks’ paid vacation’ per year. There’s no light in her heart, though. Even her act of providing an alibi for Adrian is cold and loveless.

“Pleasence’s biggest success is in giving Carsini genuine depth. It’s as if he’s played the role for years, not just one episode.”

Gary Conway’s Ric Carsini is on-screen for just a few minutes but he does enough to get the audience off-side, taunting Adrian and delivering the stinging put down that ultimately leads to his death: “I’m sure the Marino Brothers will let you lick the labels on their new carbonated rosé.” He knew how to hit big brother where it hurt, alright (and vice versa).

Any Old Port is also notable in that it marks the first appearance of one of Columbo’s most-loved regulars – Vito Scotti. The versatile character actor was a long-time friend of Falk’s and graced six episodes between 1973 and 1989. Always good value, Vito’s simpering Maitre d’ oozes humour.

Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm Vito Scotti

Vito Scotti’s Columbo debut satisfies on every level

If it was just about the performances, Any Old Port would trounce almost all the opposition hands-down. That’s why I believe it rates so highly with fans. It’s a hoot to simply sit back and drink in (pun 1 jillion per cent intended). But I’m looking to cast a critical eye over proceedings here, and in doing so can’t help but highlight some shortcomings.

As with almost all the longer episodes, Any Old Port could have easily lost 15 minutes without harming the storytelling. A case in point? The real-time car manouevering, where Adrian first moves his Rolls Royce out of the garage, then moves Ric’s Ferrari in. You can’t tell me that would’ve been left in a 75-minute version. Several other scenes trundle along at a snail’s pace, and offer no pay-off or plot advancement. It’s mostly quality filler, but filler nonetheless.

“If it was just about the performances, Any Old Port would trounce almost all the opposition hands-down.”

There are several question marks regarding the crime, too. For one thing, Adrian leaves Ric alive, albeit unconscious, in his wine cellar as he jets off to New York. He’s taking an outrageous chance! Ric is a terrific athlete. Is it not conceivable that he could shake off a clash to the head and wriggle to freedom?

Adrian also switches off the air-con in the wine cellar as he leaves Ric. We must take it that the intention is to shut off the fresh air so that Ric will suffocate. But wait! The wine cellar is sufficiently large to have enough air in it to keep a man alive for an age. He’d die of dehydration first. So why flip the switch? It’s not a logical action.

It all adds up to the air conditioning switch-off being simply a convenient mechanism for the wine to become oxidised on the roasting hot day.  Adrian would have been better off finishing Ric with another blow to the head in the cellar, just to be sure. Think about it: he loves his wines enough to kill for them. So why wouldn’t he finish the job to guarantee their survival? It’s a plot hole that would doom a lesser episode.

Carsini brothers

If Adrian had just killed Ric before flying to New York, he could still be merrily sitting amongst his wines to this day

I have problems with the restaurant scene, too. Not the performances, which are world-class, but the concept behind it. How could Adrian accept that a lowly-paid police officer could afford to pay for the meal at such a high-priced establishment? And that’s even before Columbo ‘orders’ the 1945 vintage Ferrier Port.

Adrian admits that the price of the bottle would be prohibitive. We must therefore assume it would cost, at a minimum, several hundred dollars at early 70s prices. Columbo could never afford this luxury, so Adrian should smell a rat.

I also query whether Columbo would choose to jeopardise the prestige of the restaurant the way he does. The commotion Adrian made would have caused some serious reputational damage, while making monkeys of innocent employees. That’s out of character for Columbo.

This scene only makes sense if the Lieutenant has had the full backing of his superiors, who have agreed to foot the bill in its entirety and fill the place with plain-clothed officers. Even for a guy with Columbo’s arrest record, that’s a helluva lot of trust (and taxpayers’ money).

“The restaurant scene only makes sense if the LAPD has agreed to foot the bill in its entirety and fill the place with plain-clothed officers.”

Finally I even have some quibbles with the clifftop encounter that seals Adrian’s fate. He’s evidently flinging the wine away to avoid it being used to incriminate him. But if he’s already decided he can’t let the blackmailing Karen into his life, then why would he? Remember, he loves his wine collection above all things. I can only attribute it it to the old Columbo adage that people do strange things when under duress.

Speaking of which, oughtn’t Carsini be more visibly emotional at the act of destroying his wines? As he lobs bottle after bottle off the cliff, it merely seems like it’s an inconvenience to have to do it rather than a personal tragedy, which it undoubtedly would have been. I’d have preferred to see tears coursing down his cheeks with every agonising hurl. Still, what it all leads to is the glorious finale in Columbo’s car – a scene so good that any faults with the episode can almost be forgotten.

So all in all Any Old Port in a Storm is compelling viewing and a barrel load of fun, but is by no means perfect. As Carsini says, a great label doesn’t always equate to a great wine. I feel the same about this episode. The slight imperfections, perhaps noticeable only to those invested enough to look for them, take the edge off what is for all intents and purposes one of TV’s greatest hits. The pity is that all these failings could have been effectively and succinctly addressed in the script.

So much of Any Old Port is great, exceptional even, but I never quite savour it as much as I hope to. Perhaps, ultimately, I’m too much like Carsini. And in this instance maybe that’s not such a good thing…

adrian-carsini.jpg

Did you know?

Ric CarsiniYou’d think that being a murder victim in a wine-themed episode of Columbo might have put Gary Conway (Ric Carsini) off the grape for life – but not a bit of it! Gary and wife Marion actually own a vineyard of their own – the Carmody McKnight Estate in Paso Robles, California!

Regardless of whether the quality of the wine is Carsini-esque or more like the Marino Brothers, you just couldn’t make this up…

How I rate ’em

I can understand why Any Old Port is so revered by so many fans, but it wouldn’t do for us all to like the same things, would it? I certainly consider it amongst Columbo‘s top tier of episodes, but overall I admire rather than love it. Controversial? I hope not… Check out my other reviews using the links below!

  1. Suitable for Framing
  2. Double Shock
  3. Murder by the Book
  4. Death Lends a Hand
  5. A Stitch in Crime
  6. Lady in Waiting
  7. Any Old Port in a Storm
  8. Prescription: Murder
  9. The Most Crucial Game
  10. Etude in Black
  11. Greenhouse Jungle
  12. Requiem for a Falling Star
  13. Blueprint for Murder
  14. Ransom for a Dead Man
  15. Dead Weight
  16. The Most Dangerous Match
  17. Lovely but Lethal
  18. Short Fuse
  19. Dagger of the Mind

Am I being too hard on this televisual gem? Or will my insights cause you to throw your Any Old Port DVD over a cliff after seeing it in a new light? Let me know below.

As always, thanks so much for taking the time to visit the site. Next up on the episodic expedition is Candidate for Crime, so keep ’em peeled! For now, santé!


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Gotta run, I’m hosting a soiree with this gang shortly. See you soon!

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197 thoughts on “Episode review: Columbo Any Old Port in a Storm

  1. Would Karen be charged for lying to Columbo about seeing Rick leave the winery? Withholding evidence maybe?

     
  2. Nice touch was Karen asking Adrian if she should get tickets for any Broadway shows while they’re in New York. Julie Harris won the 1973 Tony award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play in “The Last of Mrs. Lincoln.”

     
  3. This was probably one of my fave episodes. I would think though that Ric’s body, rotting away for a week in temperatures up to 150 degrees would have bloated and eventually exploded like a dead cow in the middle of Death Valley, making quite the mess in that wine cellar. Could you imagine Adrian trying to explain that away?

     
  4. Brilliantly acted and beautifully shot. The longer running time has never bothered me here. Like a fine wine this episode needs to be savoured. Slower paced it maybe but I think it suits the episode perfectly. What an actor Pleasence was and his Carsini is a delight and I love all of his scenes with Columbo, especially that poignant final scene. It’s been very interesting reading all of the comments and has gone some way to my understanding of the little plot points which I struggle to get my head around. I can definitely understand the love bestowed upon Any Old Port in a Storm and I have to say that whenever I re-watch it I only ever have admiration for a wonderful ninety minutes of great TV.

     
  5. The glaring plot hole of this episode: underground areas like caves and cellars have moderate temperatures because earth, stone, and brick naturally absorb heat on hot days, and release heat in cold days. Also: heat rises. That is why wine was stored in caves and wine cellars, and vegetables in root cellars, for centuries before air conditioning was invented. If you were tied up in a non-air conditioned space, there would be no place with more comfortable temperatures when it is 109 degrees outside, than the floor of an underground wine cellar.

     
    • In my book, at the end of the day “Any Old Port in a Storm” is a strongly directed episode based on a weak script. It’s kind of the “best bad Columbo movie”. This is really something!

       
  6. I am a new reader of your site, and I enjoyed your thoughts on this episode. I agree with all of your comments about the acting and the writing–top notch all around, and that does redeem any flaws with the unraveling of the crime. In watching this episode, I kept expecting the spoiled wine to connect in some way with the body of the brother and confirm the identity of the murderer. Was there some autopsy detail about death caused by excessive heat that I had missed? (But then his body supposedly being in a wet suit for day outside in the heat would hardly escape the same conditions of being in a hot wine cellar.) So your comments about the holes in the plot are honest and good. I also wondered how Columbo would know the exact spot that Carsini would go to for throwing away his ruined wine bottles, but having the culprit walk back to his car and see Columbo waiting there was a satisfying dramatic touch, one they couldn’t resist, I expect. The reader’s comment above about Julie Harris’s reaction on the plane when Carsini allowed her to take a taxi home from the airport was good. That sets up the later conversation between her and Carsini after the restaurant scene.

     
  7. I thought this episode was a humorous look back at the mod, swinging seventies, with the hip California scene featuring poolside swimsuit dancing and the silly piano bar in the flying two deck 747! The one turn in the show that seemed completely incredulous was an LA homicide detective, probably earning $45,000 a year, inviting a suspect and his secretary to one of the town students swankiest restaurants as a thank you for his patience and enduring the detective’s relentless questioning in the face of long odds. And the suspect taking Columbo up on it? Not likely. Highly unlikely. I lost attention at that script malpractice. Overall one of the better themes for a Columbo, which always involves a lesson in some industry or pursuit that reflects the writers’ creativity and respect for an audience looking for more than ordinary bank robberies or basement murders!

     
  8. Would the case against Adrian hold up on court considering that Columbo stole the bottle of wine from Adrian’s cellar? My understanding is that police cannot get evidence committing a crime in the process, in which case the criminal case would be thrown out.

     
    • Yes, this is the largest plot infirmity by far. Columbo stole someone’s property on the hunch that the wine would be bad. Now really ….

       
    • Given that Adrian was willing to confess, this doesn’t really matter, does it?

      This is Columbo, not Law and Order. The whole point is to get a confession by the end of the story.

       
  9. I am afraid that the actors and the atmosphere and decors are the only good things in this episode. The pace is far too slow. Story is awfully patchy (marks of the ropes on Ric’s arms? Dying from overheating, not lack of oxygen?). And writing was apparently about a French, not an Italian villain. (They speak French and the wines discussed are French or German). Carsini is interesting but in a foolish / crazy way. Not very mysterious…
    Well I am disappointed (je suis déçu 🙂

     
    • Any Old Port in a Storm is one of my favorites, though I have many favorite Columbos…having done forensic architecture the details are quite mundane and performing forensic work requires tremendous focus and concentration. Real life murderers are quite a bit more complex and the forensic much more involved than what appears in each episode. But, there is no way to really show a real murder and solve it in the time period for a simple show as Columbo. Columbo, except for one exception I can recall, solves the murder first…this gives the viewer less to think about while watching Columbo solve it…I enjoy viewing time and again the murderers deception in trying to play innocent and eventually being discovered. Justice! Sweet Justice is always served…and that, is why I watch them and always will…over and over again.

       
  10. Excellent review. The farewell is my all-time favorite Columbo “last scene.” It didn’t bother me that Adrian wasn’t more emotional when he was tossing the bottles into the sea–I figured he got all the anger and sadness out in the cellar when he smashed the bottle against the wall. I did think that Rick’s fiancee bounced back a little too fast. When Columbo called her a few days after Rick’s body was discovered to ask how Rick felt about his car, she was already feeling “much better.” Julie Harris–the scene on the plane when Adrian asks if she has her car and she says no, she’ll take a taxi and he’s ok with that even though he has HIS car–the range of emotions that cross her face in a few seconds–hurt, exasperated, angry, resigned–just a brilliant actress. Frank Puglia (appeared as a Moroccan rug merchant in “Casablanca”) is great in his short scene as the janitor. “Signor, buona fortuna.” He died in 1975. Gary Conway was Playgirl’s “Man for August” (1973).

     
    • Excellent thoughts. Appreciate reading those. One of my favorite lines is when Adrian says to Karen on the plane “Nobody really needs a five thousand dollars botte of wine, I just don’t want anyone else to have it.”

       
  11. This truly is a fantastic episode and I can see why it’s such a fans favourite.
    Trying to pick holes in it it’s like trying to take the Joy out of each beautiful day that we are given. The writing, the cast, and the plot all contribute to
    absolutely wonderful television. I disagree with all the faults found by the reviewer and I can see why this episode has attained the top spot for many years. It’s a delight.

     
    • “Any Old Port in a Storm” remains my favorite and I enjoy watching it over and over again. I certainly could not watch any other top named non-Columbo movie over and over again.

       
  12. I dont think you are being too hard on this episode. In fact I was surprised to find out this ep is so liked among fans. For me it would never make a top 10 and I haven’t even finished the 3d season yet. I take plotholes and unconvincing plotlines very seriously. Pleasence’s acting also didn’t impress me much but only because he’s forever Himler to me. What I’m trying to say he was a perfect Himler in “The Eagle has Landed”, best I’ve ever seen, and unfortunately the way he portrays his character was a bit too similar in Any Old Port. I guess if I haven’t seen Eagle Has Landed 20 times before, I’d see his acting in a different light. Other than that I completely agree with your review, except I guess I put different weights on different pros and cons so I have a different final verdict. Good and unforgettable episode however not a top 10 by any means.

     
  13. 1945 FERREIRA Pale red in colour, very light centre. Sweet on the nose, bringing quince and cinammon. Sweet and beautifully elegant in the mouth. Lots of redcurrants and a wonderful complexity all over the tongue and cheeks. A long, gentle and carressing aftertaste.

    This Port is now beginning to reach its full maturity and is ready for drinking. As it ages further, it will begin to develop gently into a more tawny style Port.

    $1,074.99 My, this would be splendid to splurge and remember this wonderful Columbo scene!

     
  14. I’m watching this episode, which is one of my top 5 favorites, and I’m trying to figure out how Adrian was able to drive his dead half brother to the ocean in that tiny sports car. He was a big guy, the folding bike was in the trunk, and took up a lot of space in the trunk. Also besides the body, the scuba equipment/tank take up room. I doubt he had the body sitting next to himself while driving to the ocean. Did he tie the brother to the bumper? Did he tie his brother up and drag the body?

     
    • I thought he had him in the passenger seat next to him wrapped up in somekind of blanket but yeah farfetched that the folded up bike & the scuba gear all fit in the trunk…

       
  15. Did nobody else catch the obvious cut to Carsinis speech when Columbo said “Must be killing you to throw all this stuff away?” – He says “Yeah you’ve no idea, it’s like k-” then back to Columbo. Now why would there be a cut there? My guess is he said “It’s like killing my own children” and of course they would never allow that on 70s TV before the watershed. Just a hunch but the cut was bad so it was definitely “k-illing” something and seeing as there are many bottles you could assume he was referring to children he never had.

     
      • Also why would smashing loads of bottles of his beloved wine be akin to killing his brother considering his brother wanted to sell the land to the Marino brothers so they could gut it and create low quality cheap wine?

         
    • I did catch it but my guess was “its like killing my own brother” and thats why he suddenly stopped. I mean it was literally like killing his own brother in many ways, including the place where the wines “died”, the reason why they died and the place he disposed the bodies. One may say he didnt feel so bad about killing his brother but I’d argue he did, his hands did shake and his behavior wasn’t the same afterwards. I think he was only trying to convince himself he felt no remorse but in fact he did feel at least some.

       
      • That wouldn’t really fit because he just killed his brother and as he said “I’ll confess but there’s no remorse attached to it”

         
      • One thing I don’t understand in this episode: why did Ric have the power to sell the winery out from under Adrian? Wouldn’t they both have ownership? Or did I miss something about the father having left it to Ric alone?

         
      • You all may be correct. I heard it differently–“you’ve no idea what it’s like,” no line cut but the “what” is muttered.

         
  16. This episode had a great cast and a nice setting and atmosphere. I remember that the first time I saw it, I didn’t understand it—the clues, how Columbo solved the case, etc. Now it’s been too long and I forget what it was I didn’t understand about it! It seems to make sense in this review, so thanks for that. 🙂

    The syndication cuts for this episodes mean that we never get to see the comely hostess on electric piano, or the auction. I remember my friend and I watched this on TV and got to the credits the credits and said “When was George Gaynes in this episode?!” This is one of the reasons he broke down and bought the complete series on DVD. Thank goodness for physical media!

    The maître d’ is played by Vito Scotti, but he really reminds me of Reni Santoni in this role.

    I think Adrian Carsini is flinging the wine off the cliff because it’s ruined, not because it can incriminate him. Though that seems wasteful—he could never sell it, as that would be aesthetically offensive to him, but he could give it away to some lucky wino! Sad to think of all that wine going to waste. It’s not the wine’s fault Adrian killed his brother! At least the ones he bought at the auction are still OK, though, right?

     
  17. There’s an extremely nice low-key joke in this episode. The girlfriend comes into Columbo’s office to ask him to look for her fiancé. “I went to Missing Persons but there’s no one there.”

     
    • I dont find any of the scenes in any old port in a storm paticulary funny, not even the liquid filth scene , I am not a great fan of this one , while its a quality piece of television and theirs not a lot wrong with it and a typical columbo which is always worth watching personally just dont get whats so special about this one and I struggle to understand why So Many like it So much ,

       
  18. While I liked the performances, I am puzzled by one thing.

    Why did Columbo steal the wine?

    I know what he used it for, but did he already have that planned? Did he already know the wine would be spoiled? If so, how?

    Maybe there is a simple explanation, but I’m just not seeing it.

     
    • It’s never explained. I like to think that the French wine expert he seeks advice from let him know that heat spoils good wine and from then on he formed a plan to snatch a bottle and set up the elaborate restaurant scene to test his theory.

       
      • Carsini tells Columbo, earlier in the episode, how essential it is for the wines in his cellar to stay below a certain temperature. The current heat wave must have triggered the scheme in his mind.

         
        • Columbo had to fix his broken refrigerator during the heat wave. He remarked as pulled out a warm beer from the fridge “I don’t know how the English drink it that way.” Remembering his broken refrigerator and frustrations of drinking warm beer gave the hunch to test his suspicion that the wine cellar AC was also turned off during the murder.

           
        • Ric couldn’t have died from suffocation if the air condition had brought fresh cool air into the cellar, so Columbo had to assume the air condition was off.

           
  19. Not a reply but an inquiry. When Colombo is walking in the back of the winery to find Carsini he stumbles across an old man working on the aisle mopping.
    As Columbo starts to walk away the older man says “senior,”… and then he says something in Italian and I don’t know what it is. Does anyone know what he said?

     
  20. The genius of the episode is that Adrian Carsini is one of the very few persons on the face of this Earth who has the skills and background to tell that the wine (the port) went bad from overheating, but . . . they don’t really leverage this to a good gotcha moment. 🙁

     
  21. The reviewer finds fault that Carsini doesn’t finish off his half brother with another blow to the head, but that would have been STUPID! The genius of the murder is that the death occurred two days later, when Carsini was in NYC! Thus, an (almost) perfect alibi.

    A much bigger flaw is that Carsini risked his entire precious wine collection for a week without air conditioning. But he really had no choice. More incredible is that he’d not check in the weather during his absence.

     
    • Carsini told Columbo the wine door can only be locked from the outside. That means someone could get locked in.

       
  22. In his critique following the summary of the episode, one concern was the apparent lack of sadness when Adrian has to throw away all of the expensive, but spoiled, wine bottles. However, before he heads out to the cliff, he smashes a bottle in anger in the cellar.

     
    • I think of the lack of visible sadness as just part of his make-up. He’s usually very self-controlled. They talk about the British being like that but I don’t know any. Donald Pleasance is a joy to watch. I loved him in ‘Telefon’ too.

       
  23. The episode has a major flaw. The wine going bad from the air conditioner does not prove he killed his brother. Period

     
  24. Pingback: Episode review: Columbo Old Fashioned Murder | THE COLUMBOPHILE

  25. In Any Old Port in a Storm when the fiance goes to Columbo’s office at the beginning she gives him a picture of the two of them. Columbo stops and says, “Are you sure this man is Italian?” And she says yes his family is from Milan. And then Columbo says, “Oh they make them blond up there in Milan.” Rick was not blond so referring to an Italian who’s a blonde from Milan in the picture is a goof.

     
  26. Nice episode. Love almost everything Julie Harris is in. Here she plays Karen, secretary to the murderer, Adrian Carsini (Donald Pleasence). She soon guesses his secret and it’s clear she has plans of her own. She manages to hold her own with Columbo even when he visits her very off-hours and grills her with naggingly irritating questions. That penultimate restaurant scene orchestrated by Columbo, however, did make it seem like she and Carsini were lambs being led to the slaughter.

     
  27. I’m surprised you didn’t notice – you certainly noticed Cassavetes’ haircut – that Adrian got a mad-hot sunburn on his head, at night while smashing the bottles!

     
    • Hmm… that could be him. Hard to tell since we don’t get a good look in the clip, but it does sound like Wilcox.

       
  28. I thought it was odd that Columbo said he was reminded he had to get his refrigerator fixed because his beer was warm when he and his wife returned from a picnic on that very hot day, which he said was “one day last week.” I don’t think anyone would wait several days before getting a refrigerator repaired. He was likely making up the story to fit with his plan, but Columbo was too smart to make a mistake like that.
    Another thing I noticed was that when Columbo got the weather report for the day Ric died, the temperature was 48 yet it was 109 the same week.
    What seemed to me the biggest mistake in the episode was that Adrian was able to dress Ric’s body in a wetsuit after he had been dead for several days.

     
    • Ugh, at those temperatures Ric’s body would have been swollen and stinking making it an even more revolting task for a man with Adrian’s sensitive palate.

       
      • I guess that explains the look on Adrian’s face when he pops back into his wine vault to find Ric’s body. I pondered over that scene every time…

         
    • RE: “I don’t think anyone would wait several days before getting a refrigerator repaired. He was likely making up the story to fit with his plan… Columbo was too smart to make a mistake like that.”

      I agree. Columbo didn’t carry a weapon because his mind was his weapon.

      Another example of Columbo giving false info because he felt it might help him catch his quarry is “Strange Bedfellows” (1995) wherein he tells the Mafia guys that he didn’t know how to speak Italian when past episodes revealed that he could speak Italian (e.g. “Murder Under Glass” and “Death Hits the Jackpot”). He was no doubt hoping the Don & his cronies would freely speak Italian around him so he could pick up some relevant data.

       
  29. Pingback: 5 best moments from Any Old Port in a Storm | The Columbophile

  30. This is one of my favorite episodes as well….and being a wine-lover myself doesn’t exactly hurt. I did feel pretty sorry for Carsini, even though he had done a terrible thing. Funny, Carsini did seem pretty upset when he had to destroy his beloved wines, but you’ve got a point about it being a bit restrained. Some of us would have been bawling our eyes while having to toss all that expensive hooch!

     
  31. For years this episode puzzled me, I must have watched it at least a dozen times. I think I finally get the gist of how Colombo figured it out. The wine cellar where Rick was tied up had a “venting machine” (not A/C), which he turns off when he puts Rick in there. I suppose the intention was that Rick would take a few days to suffocate, and thus officially die when Adrian was out of town on the wine trip. Ordinarily, given the time of year, turning off the venting machine would not have risked the integrity of the wine as it never gets that hot. But bad luck for Adrian, it is record heat, wine spoils. The fact that Adrian realizes this when Colombo mentions heat wave shows he knew he shut the venting machine off when he went on the trip. Why would he do that? Because he had his half brother tied up in the room to suffocate. Not as plausible a story as most episodes, but I think I have resolved the central puzzlement about this case that I had for years. It kinda makes sense, even if a bit of a stretch.

     
    • Is there a line in the script that really says “venting machine”?. If so, this is the first explanation for why Rick died and why Adrian was so distraught that comes close to making any sense–dramatically, at least..

      There are still scientific and engineering issues. Given the size of the room and the age of the building, it is still unlikely that Rick would suffocate. Natural air infiltration would suffice. In addition, the massive masonry of the room would naturally keep the temperature of the wine cellar stable for days or weeks at a time without any mechanical intervention. This is the actual purpose and a critical design element of classic wine cellars. I am mystrified as to why Adrian, a winme expert, would want to install a “venting machine” that would tend to make the temperature in the room fluctuate during the course of a day. Possibly the machine is intended to operate only at night when temperatures are at their coolest, making the wine cellar as naturally cool as possible in the mild California climate. However, this is belied by the fact that it is operating in the daytime when Adrian turns it off.

      In the end, the air-conditioner/venting-machine still sticks out like a sore thumb as a plot point.

       
      • The line Columbo says when Adrian sees him at the car (when disposing of the spoiled wine): “It got very hot in that vault with the ventilation turned off, but that one day, that Thursday, temp went over 150 degrees.. wine over heated”

        I agree that Adrian’s ability to predict Rick would suffocate in the room with the venting turned off is a stretch. But I guess the real angst I had with this episode for decades was I could never figure out what the script writers expected us to believe about how Columbo figured it out! If we accept the premise that the vault was a room that required ventilation in order to survive, as well as preserve the wine, then it makes sense. And that gives me some comfort as I spent decades puzzled by this episode which, apart from the mystery of solving the murder, is one of my fav with the acting, location and back and forth between Columbo and Adrian. Such a great show.

         
    • Thank you Columbo Fan! I have viewed this episode a number of times trying to figure out what Carsini was trying to do in tying the hands of his fully alive and strong brother, and flipping a switch located adjacent to something resembling a vent or AC coil. Then later, how discovery of the hot day having spoiled the wine proves Carsini’s guilt. I thought Adrian actually expected his brother to be alive when he returned, and would deal with him then. And why was he so shocked at seeing some objects in disarray? ANYway, if the switch operates a VENT as opposed to an AC system, it does seem more plausible that Ric could be expected to suffocate in there. Again, thanks for acknowledging some of the difficulties with the murder in this episode. Columbophile has pointed out the others, and now I can put this to rest.

       
  32. So Carsini – Pleasance is supposed to have switched off the air condition to make Ric suffocate and this affected the wines during the one week absence to New York. Was that the supposed clue ? Silly. Carsini could have just put a hood over Ric’s head to bring about suffocation and we don’t suffocate just because there is no air condition in a room.
    Fail plot I ‘m afraid.

     
    • Adrian Carsini had no reasonable reason to leave Ric alive in the first place. He could have finished the job right away, and the deadly blow on Ric’s head would have looked even better when Adrian’s plan was to fake a diving accident.

       
      • He didn’t have it in him to directly finish him off. The only reason he was able to lash out at him earlier in the office was due to blind rage. He was an educated, passive man of exquisite taste and refinement, but he wasn’t a brute killer.

         
        • If he was such a tasteful human, why didn’t he confess to his deed right after he regretted it? Why did he come up with a cover up and staged the accident instead? Maybe he did choose to live a murderer’s life, but then he should have completed the job.

           
          • Your beef is with Carsini, not me.

            Yes, AFTER he murdered his half-brother in a blind rage he staged the fake accident. Why? Obviously so his life wasn’t ruined. But did he intend on living as a conniving murderer from that point on? Hardly.

            That said, he did commit murder in a blind rage and tried to get away with it. So he was a murderer.

             
            • If he didn’t want his life to be ruined, then why did he place Ric exactly where Ric could best ruin Adrian’s life by crawling to the wine shelves and kicking out the bottles to use the broken glass to free himself from the rope? For somebody like Adrian, who doesn’t do things half-hearted, it should have been natural to do the bad thing well.

               
              • Unanswered questions like this are why this episode isn’t quite amongst my very favourites. Adrian’s behaviour regarding putting Ric in the cellar and turning the air-con off is entirely illogical.

                 
                • Adrian’s scheme would’ve worked except for that unseasonably hot day while he was in New York, which he wasn’t counting on and it ruined his priceless wine.

                  It’s always the details that do-in the murderer, like the pillow feather in “Troubled Waters.”

                   
                  • But turning the air-con off in a cellar that was big enough to have days and days’ worth of air in it served only one purpose in the plot: to spoil the wine. Ric was never going to suffocate in there through lack of air – it was too big. So Adrian turning it off seems to have no basis in logic.

                     
                    • Today we can just Google how much breathable air is in a sealed room; Adrian didn’t have that option and he wasn’t a scientist, but a wine expert. So I’m guessing he just miscalculated.

                      Practically every case on Columbo comes down to the murderer making a mistake; Adrian made a mistake.

                       
                    • Also: It’s implied in the story that the wine was only ruined because of the unexpected hot day, which explains why Adrian thought there would be no problem with turning the AC off for a few days while he was in New York.

                       
              • Obviously Adrian thought that his half-brother was (1) too wounded and near death to cause any damage to his precious wine or (2) too well tied-up to do so; probably both. All of this shows that Adrian, while an expert wine connoisseur, wasn’t exactly an expert at murder.

                 
      • Carsini didn’t want to finish the job right away. He wanted Ric to die later by suffocation when he was away in New York, thus giving him an alibi.

        The only issue I have with this is that the extreme heat would have caused Ric’s body to decompose very quickly and, as a result, it could appear as though he had died earlier, possibly even before Carsini left for New York.

         
  33. The beach club (hipster) scene is a nice example of how the series cast excellent actors even in small roles. Robert Waldman (mustached hipster) would play “Donald Segretti” in 1976 and later landed high-profile roles on TV, I believe. And could it be that the dark-haired lady hipster is Stephanie Beacham? Is it possible? I don’t know much about Beacham except she’s British and is famous for having starred on Dynasty.

     
    • That was a fun sequence at the beach club despite Columbo delivering bad news to Joan (gorgeous blonde Joyce Jillson).

      RE: “could it be that the dark-haired lady hipster is Stephanie Beacham?”

      No, it’s Pamela Campbell. She had a weak acting career with only five credits. For details, go here: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1125454/

       

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